Shopping with Tony Stark May be Hazardous
Shopping with Tony Stark May be Hazardous to Your Health
Disclaimer: I own none of the characters from the Buffy verse or the Marvel Avengers Movie verse...
"So," Darcy Lewis, full-time assistant to Doctor Jane Foster and Doctor Erik Selvig, asked as she spun her office chair in circles. "What are we giving Pepper for her birthday?"
"Hmm?" Doctor Jane Foster asked distractedly.
Darcy sighed and stopped her spinning. "Jane, pause on the science. We have an important decision to make."
Giving herself a shake, Jane turned away from her computer screen. "Sorry... What was the question?"
"Pepper's birthday gift?" Darcy repeated.
Jane looked deep in thought. "What does she need?"
"A boyfriend who isn't ulcer inducing?" Darcy asked with a smirk.
The two women looked over to see Tony Stark seemingly appear out of thin air. Jane sighed while Darcy rolled her eyes.
"Mr. Stark, can we help you?" Darcy asked.
"Call me Tony," the billionaire replied. "And, did I hear correctly? Pepper's birthday is coming up?"
"Yes," Jane said distractedly as she turned back to her computer screen.
Darcy stood up forcefully, causing her chair to careen towards the wall. "Damn it!" she exclaimed. "I won't be able to get her out of Science Land for at least another hour now." She turned to Tony, pointing a finger at him. "This is your fault. How dare you interrupt our scheduled girl talk time!"
"You were talking about me," Tony pointed out. "You have to schedule 'girl talk'?"
Darcy picked up her appointment book and waved it around. "When it comes to Jane, it's better to schedule the breaks. She's more likely to listen if it's pre-scheduled."
Tony tried to grab the spiral bound book. "You're using paper? They do come digitally now. I'll get you one."
"I'd only use it for a door stop," Darcy glared. "I know your ways."
"Who, me?" Tony asked innocently, a hand covering the glow of his arc reactor through his t-shirt.
"Yes, you," Darcy said. "You'd change times, make fake appointments.... I'm on to you, mister."
"Jane, you don't think that of me, do you?" Tony asked, turning to the distracted scientist.
"Uh uh," Jane replied without moving her focus from her work.
"See? Jane knows I wouldn't do that," Tony said triumphantly.
Darcy rolled her eyes. "Oh please. She's not listening. Jane, does these chips make the Chrysler Building look fat?"
"Uh uh," Jane replied.
Darcy nodded. "See? Science Land. She'll be there for hours. And, that means I can't shop for Pepper's gift until tomorrow, since I have no clue on what we should give her."
"I can fix that," Tony said with a grin.
"Why did I agree to this again?" Darcy groaned as she was dragged into yet another couture store.
"Because you said you'd help me find Pepper a birthday gift. It was your idea."
Darcy shook her head. "No. I asked Jane what we should get Pepper. You were eavesdropping. Which is a character flaw. You should work on that."
"Whatever." Tony waved a hand as if to brush her comment away. "Now, why aren't we being rolled over by a perky shop assistant?"
Darcy pointed to the back of the store. "They're all huddled..." she trailed off when she saw the store clerks were actually sitting on the ground and behind an armed gunman.
"Don't move! Put your hands up!" the gunman shouted.
"Which is it?" Tony asked, his head slightly cocked.
"Tony," Darcy ground out. "Shut up and follow his directions." She slowly moved slightly to one side and forward, hoping to get close enough that she could use her Slayer speed and strength to wrench the gun out of the criminal's hand.
"Do I know you?" the gunman asked, staring at Tony.
"Shut up," Darcy hissed behind her. She was almost there.
"Holy shit," the gunman exclaimed. "You're Iron Man." Dropping his gun, he raised his hands. "I give up. I don't want to tangle with your lasers."
Darcy quickly strode forward and kicked the gun away while pulling her phone out of her pocket. "Iron Man, if he moves, fry him," she ordered as she dialed 911.
She could see Tony's eye roll in her mind as he replied. "Of course."
It didn't take long for the police to come and arrest the assailant.
"I don't use lasers, I use repulsors," Tony complained.
"Just be grateful he was stoned enough to think you could hurt him without your suit," Darcy pointed out. "Now, I'm wiped."
"If you don't tell Pepper about this, I'll pay for whatever you and Jane decide to get her," Tony wheedled.
Grinning, Darcy shook Tony's hand. "Done! And, shopping is done!"
Pepper was very happy with the custom made Christain Louboutin shoes from Tony. Mostly because Tony actually found and bought her a gift.
And, she thought the spa weekend from Jane and Darcy was quite nice as well...