Disclaimer: I own none of the characters from the Buffy verse or the Marvel Avengers Movie verse...
Humming under her breath, Darcy wandered the hallways of SHIELD towards her weekly appointment with Agent Coulson.
"Hello, Miss Lewis."
Slightly startled, Darcy turned around, finding Agent Maria Hill standing in the middle of the hall with her arms crossed over her chest.
"Hello, Agent Hill," Darcy replied, looking confused. Seeing movement out of the corner of her eye, she turned her head just enough to see two heavyset agents behind her.
Agent Hill scowled at the women before her. "I'm investigating a serious situation. Somehow, even though you have no real reason for it, Directory Fury granted you the highest clearance for a civilian ever given in this organization. You're nothing but a college dropout!"
"I'm working on my final credits, thank you very much!" Darcy replied with a glare as she repositioned the reports in her arms.
"Even being a nobody, you somehow have the ability to make Agent Coulson and Director Fury drop what they are doing and come running when you call. It took almost no time for you to get a room in the Avenger's tower, and you have regular training sessions with not only normal agents, but Agents Romanov and Barton." Glaring at Darcy, she motioned the two agents forward.
Standing stiff, Darcy allowed herself to be quickly searched. All items found on her person, including her taser from her front jeans pocket, and her files, were taken away.
"You'll be detained until I can figure out the method of your influence. After said influence is removed, you'll be escorted off the property, all security clearance revoked," Maria smirked as Darcy was handcuffed behind of her body.
A short time later, Darcy was left in a small closet of a room with nothing around her but four walls and a keypad locked door. Glaring at the camera she could see in the corner, Darcy calmly contorted her body and 'jumped rope' so her still bound hands were now in front of her body.
Taking a moment to plot her next move, Darcy took a deep breath to calm down.
Coolly reaching into the neckline of her button down shirt, she pulled out her special, magiced, Council issued cellphone and dialed Stark Industries.
The automated greeting started to play. "Thank you for calling Stark Industries. If you know the extension of the person you wish..."
Darcy interrupted the computer voice. "This is Darcy Lewis. JARVIS, are you there?"
The automated menu stopped, and JARVIS came onto the line. "Yes, Miss Lewis?"
"I'm being held captive by Agent Hill. She thinks I have undue influence over SHIELD, Fury, Coulson, the Avengers… Basically, everyone. I need you to get the word out to the relevant parties while I use my naturally born gifts to get out of this."
JARVIS's affirmative reply was interrupted by the two SHIELD agents from before bursting into the room. Grinning, Darcy shut her phone and placed it back into her bra while ducking a grab from one agent. Then, she punched the other agent in the face with her bound hands.
Moments later, both agents were unconscious on the floor. Darcy quickly searched the men, using a set of keys to unlock her handcuffs, grabbed their pass cards, and left the room through the conveniently left open door.
Jogging down the hallways, Darcy worked her way through headquarters. Every agent she met, she snuck up on them and rendered unconscious, not knowing which were innocent, and who were part of whatever plot Agent Hill was leading.
Peeking around a corner, she swore under her breath as she saw two agents coming down the hall. Having nowhere to hide in the hallway, Darcy jogged back the way she had come, and around a few corners. Looking around, she spied a vent on one wall.
"I guess I get to Die Hard this," she said with a sigh as she reached up and started to pry the cover off, using a pass key to unscrew the cover. Placing the cover in the air duct, she jogged back a few steps. Taking a running leap, she slipped into the vent and wiggled around to pull the cover back. Holding the vent cover in place, she watched the two agents calmly wander down the hall, chatting to each other.
"I need to get Clint and Natasha to give me a map of these things or something," Darcy murmured as she pulled herself out of the air duct. After replacing the cover and half screwing it back in, she continued on her escape attempt.
A few hallways later, she was at an entrance to the 'warren', a warehouse sized room full of cubicles. Sneaking around, Darcy started knocking unconscious the agents she came across.
"I'm living a fricking video game," Darcy grumbled to herself as she rendered unconscious the last agent in the 'warren'. A few feet from the door she was heading for, it opened to reveal Director Fury and Agent Hill.
"What the hell!" Nicholas Fury exclaimed, seeing the out cold agents strewed across the large room. Most of what he could see was a limb sprawled outside a cubicle here and there.
"You need to keep a tighter leash on your guard dogs!" Darcy exclaimed, glaring at Maria, seemingly ignoring the gun the woman was pointing at her. "I'm happily living my life, when Mistress of Pain here shows up, with Twiddle Dee and Twiddle Dum. I'm searched, then locked up in a closet while she figures out how I 'influence' the big wigs around here."
Directory Fury turned and glared at Maria. "You'll be explaining thus, in detail, later." Turning back to Darcy, he continued. "Since I obviously have to explain your situation to her, I've been wondering… Is Agent Hill a demon?"
Darcy shook her head. "She doesn't give me the wiggins."
"What the hell are the 'wiggins'?" Director Fury asked with a glare.
Darcy shrugged and replied, "That's what my teacher called the feeling we get when a demon is nearby."
"Oh my god. Oh my god," Agent Hill exclaimed, wide eyed as she took an involuntary half step back. "You're a Slayer!"
Darcy gave Maria a 'duh' look while Fury demanded, "How the hell do you know that term?"
Agent Hill took a deep breath, holstered her gun, and gave herself a shake before she replied. "My great grandmother on my mother's side was a demon. She used to tell me stories."
"So, you're a small part demon?" Darcy asked. After seeing Maria nod, she continued. "You so owe me for my mental trauma over the manhandling I suffered!"
"So, what shall we tell the masses?" Director Fury asked, motioning towards the unconscious agents in the room.
Darcy shrugged. "I have been sparring with normal agents for a year, and I've had lots of practice with Natasha and Clint. Also, since I was quiet, I was able to sneak up to the majority of the agents and knock them out before they ever knew I was attacking them. As for why I attacked? Have it be a random drill. How well do agents deal with a prisoner escape and infiltration. Obviously, they failed." Darcy beamed as she added. "I win!"
"And, how did
you render all my agents unconscious?" Fury asked
Darcy grinned. "We were taught the Vulcan nerve pinch in training. Turns out Slayers have the strength to pull it off."
Pinching his nose, Director Fury waved an arm as he turned away. "Get a medical team in here to start clean up. And, get Coulson to wipe this conversation from the security footage."
"And, you sir?" Maria Hill asked.
Glaring over his shoulder as he walked away, Fury replied. "Not that it's any of your business, but I'll be in my office, partaking in the Avengers' apology gift from the mission in Bulgaria."
"He's not going to drink all
of it now, is he?" Darcy asked, wide eyed.
Maria shook her head as she started the call for a medical team. "I'll send a message to his assistant to keep an eye on him."