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This story is No. 15 in the series "Adventures of A Line Hopper". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: A war-weary, 2003 Buffy is vaulted into an altered version of her own past, in which the First is guaranteed to succeed. She has to stop the First, change time back, and... okay, seriously, who's the big-eared English Northerner in the leather jacket?!

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Dr. Who/Torchwood > Buffy-Centered > Pairing: The DoctorShoshiFR133675,01438221,02425 Nov 1214 Jan 13Yes

Deleted Scenes

Author's Note: So these are the scenes I wrote for the story but never intended to use. They are written purely for my own authorial knowledge, so I could keep track of things going on in the background. Relationships. People. Events. Etc.

Here's how I'm formatting this section:

First, I'll have a little blurb about why I wrote the scene. That will be in italics. Often, if I have other comments, such as "this part wasn't very well written" or "I've changed this information since I wrote the scene", I'll stick it in there.

Then you'll see a "..." line. Then an exerpt from the scene before it. Then a line of "-.-.-.-", after which comes the deleted scene.

You'll notice that, oftentimes, the stuff I really liked from the deleted scenes wound up getting shoved, elsewhere, into the actual story.

Some of it, though, remains in the deleted scenes.


This scene takes place during that first scene in the story, when Buffy is transported into the Axis. It was important to write, because it established the Doctor's First-possessed-psyche. Established what the actual struggle was between the Doctor and the First.

I wanted to make it very clear to myself that the Doctor would fight against the First no matter what, even if he was completely evil, simply because the Doctor doesn't like people telling him what to do.

As the Doctor says at the end of Your Nature, "I am not your slave!"

When I wrote this, I had an idea about how the Doctor decides not to use the name Valeyard, as a sign of rebellion against the First. You'll see that come up in this section. I thought having the Doctor become the Valeyard was just too… easy a choice. Too predictable. And I liked having the Doctor purposely not use it. However, in the end, I decided not to put this entire Valeyard thing into the story. Since I was staying almost entirely in Buffy's point of view, it just became too confusing and hard to describe.

I really liked Reinette at the end of this scene, though. So perfect.


"Still," the man in the leather jacket continued, "least this time you left the rocket launcher behind."

Buffy turned away, gritting her teeth. Pulling herself together. Of course. The First. What had just happened. It all fit. A pattern.

"You can't fool me," she muttered at the leather-jacketed man, and stalked off.

This wasn't real. None of this. She didn't know what it was, but she knew how the First operated. The First could pull out every illusion in the books, could fiddle with your emotions and make you scared enough to kill yourself, but the First couldn't step inside the world and mess around with it like this. And the First definitely couldn't travel in time.


Buffy pushed aside the sudden flood of thoughts reminding her that the First had managed to do exactly that, with the help of a number of trans-temporal rifts and an insane anti-matter Time Lord, but… no. No, this wasn't real. Couldn't be. If the First could do this, it'd have done it at the start of this mess.

She left the graveyard, and headed home.


The Doctor felt the cold, hard jolt of psychic pain snake through his mind, and cried out. Shuddered back from Buffy Summers — or was it? Stumbled and fell, his eyes clenched shut, as he curled up on the console room floor.

He realized he was shaking.

"Oh, isn't that cute?" came Adric's voice, from above him. "You're still trying to fight back. And you don't even know why."

"Adric," the Doctor gasped. He gritted his teeth, as the psychic assault ramped up another notch.

"We always trust you, you know," said Adric, crouching down beside the Doctor. "You tell us to. We believe in you." He morphed, suddenly, into a tall, slender Romana, her ceremonial Gallifreyan robes still hanging on her person. "And then you kill us."

The Doctor writhed, hissing with every breath. He curled up even tighter. "Never… never give in to you…"

"Oh, Doctor, of course you will," Romana said, as she reached her hands down deep into his mind.

The Doctor screamed.

Psychic defenses crumbled beneath her touch, his every secret searing out into the open with a harsh and biting pain. He lashed out, but it was like a moth lashing out at an atomic bomb.

"Still fighting," Romana noted. "You always were a fighter, Doctor."

"I will never give you what you want," the Doctor growled.

"Always fighting," Romana continued, still sifting through the Doctor's mind, "never giving up. Never giving in. Not even if it means the death of your entire planet. You fight, even when you don't know what you're fighting for." She smiled at him. "Why not fight for me? It'd be so easy."

"I won't be your puppet," the Doctor warned. "I won't be your slave!"

"You can hardly hope to stop me," Romana reminded him. "Not now that she has failed you." She moved out of the way, to reveal Buffy, the knife in her hand. Advancing towards him.

Buffy stopped in her tracks, as her eyes met his. The knife clattering to the ground.

"Your last hope," said Romana's voice, as it shifted into a low, commanding, powerful voice. A voice the Doctor knew all too well. Lord Rassilon. "Your final salvation. And she has betrayed you."

Buffy spun around, and fled the TARDIS.

Rassilon stepped into view, his robes flowing, that familiar cold gleam in his eyes. "You were my destroyer, Doctor. My valeyard. My bringer of justice. Punishing the wicked, bringing strength to the good." He extended a hand to the Doctor. "Be that again."


Rassilon morphed into the visage of a noble, savage woman, with a determined poise. "And what if I were the one to ask this of you, Doctor?" Leela demanded of him. "You know you must strike back at those who harmed us! You must finish what you started! For me! Leela of the Severteem!"

"You're not Leela," the Doctor insisted. "Not Romana. Not Adric. Not Rassilon."

"We could all be safe," Leela said. "All your friends. We need not die as we did before. Do you not wish to save us?"

"Toby!" the Doctor shouted, hands against his head. "You're Toby!"

The visage morphed into a young girl with dark hair and wide eyes, her face sparkling even in memory. "Grandfather," she said, kneeling down beside him, "please. You killed us, once before. Accept the power. Accept the First Evil's offer. Let us live."

The Doctor gasped, as he clutched at his hearts. "I… feel," he said. Real fear flooding through him. "I can't… shouldn't… feel…"

"Guilt?" Susan asked him. "Loss? Pain?" She gave him a smirk. "They are your darkness, Grandfather. The source of your destruction. The emotions that cause you to forget the consequences of your actions and lose control. Why would I take them away?"

The First morphed into a perfect replica of Lucie Miller. "Admittedly, they're a bit more pointedly focused than they were before."

The Doctor gritted his teeth, his face fixed. "You will never break me."

"Think not?" said Lucie. "Thanks to you, mate, I was thrown down a black hole, and isolated for eons in a universe with only one other person. A person who happened to have an almost perfect copy of your mind and personality. Think I haven't worked out your weak points by now?"

The Doctor froze.

"Always fighting, always struggling," Lucie continued. "Against what? Yourself? Your upbringing? Your inability to help the ones you care about most?"

He painfully got to his feet, his breath ragged and gaspy. "Yes," he admitted.

"But I can give you that, Grandfather," said the First, morphing back into Susan. "I can give you inner peace. No more running, no more nightmares, no more standing by helplessly while your friends die." She gave a smile. "I can help you, Grandfather."

The Doctor surged forwards, his eyes blazing, lunging for the apparition, but passing right through her. "Don't you ever… ever… appear as her again!"

"And what about me?" asked the First, as it changed into Irving Braxiatel.

"And me?" as it changed into his mother.

"And me?" as it changed into Alex Campbell. "You killed us all, Great Grand-dad. Your whole family. Don't make us have died in vain."

"Leave me alone!" the Doctor shouted.

"It hurts to look in the mirror and admit what you are," the First said, changing into his Fifth self. "Doesn't it? Hurts to figure out that all that fighting and daring-do and staunch egotism is just a flimsy disguise for your real self. A murderer. A killer. A lost, lonely, abandoned little boy, unable to repent for his original crime."

The Doctor said nothing for a long time. "I was seven years old," he muttered.

"Yes, I know," said the First. "Hadn't even looked into the untempered schism, yet, and already you established what you'd be forever. Someone who destroyed. Tore lives apart. Someone who wrecked everything he touched."

The Doctor couldn't speak.

"You said the schism drove me mad," said the First, transforming into the Master's first incarnation. "But you know who's really to blame for my own collapse into madness and insanity. The one person responsible for all my evilness, the person who used up all my lives. You, Doctor. Just you."

"You can't break me," the Doctor insisted. "I know what you really are!"

"But we aren't trying to break you!" insisted the First, transforming back into Adric. "We're just trying to help you. We're trying to give you everything you want."

"Your perfect universe," — Romana.

"The means to protect your friends," — Braxiatel.

"The ability to fix your mistakes," — Charlie.

The Doctor grabbed at his head. "This is wrong!"

"Of course it's wrong!" said the image of Jack Harkness. "I'm wrong, you're wrong, we're all of us wrong. But that's never stopped us before, has it? Never stopped you." With a smirk. "Especially not when it comes to Rose Tyler."

The Doctor's eyes grew dark. "Don't you dare…"

Jack began ticking off the items on his fingers. "You released the Reapers to feed on the Earth, you nearly let World War III break out, you let loose a Dalek in Utah, killing hundreds and potentially destroying the world. And all because of the lovely Miss Rose Marion Tyler."

"I swear," the Doctor said, "if you harm her…"

The First shifted into Romana. "I'd hardly harm her," she muttered. "You seem to be under the misapprehension that I want to hurt you. All I'm doing is trying to give you what you want most. Make sure you're not alone."

The Doctor stared.

"Quite simple, really," Romana said. "Nothing evil about it. Simply serve out your calling as the Valeyard. Punish the wicked, destroy the destroyers. Bring justice to the Earth. Rose may be gone, the Battle of Canary Warf might already have happened, but that doesn't change the truth. You don't have to be alone."

"I can't," the Doctor said. "I can't save everyone. I can't do what you say!"

"My poor, lost, lonely little Doctor," said Reinette, her eyes shimmering beneath the TARDIS lights. "You don't have to save everyone. Just one person."

The Doctor's eyes went dull. "I can't," he said. "Even if I destroyed Canary Warf before 2007. Time would balance, re-establish itself along another path. Rose would still be lost to me."

"I wasn't talking about Rose," said Reinette.

I knew the Doctor needed to meet Caleb at some point. So… I wrote the scene in, here. Mainly to establish their relationship.

I also wanted to make sure I knew how the First had 'just come into the universe' and, for some reason, had also 'always been here'.


"So… you're the Slayer, and you're not slaying Mr. Evilness?" Xander asked.

"The Doctor isn't evil…" Buffy hesitated. "I mean, he is evil, now, but he wasn't evil, before, and…" She cursed, inwardly, as she realized that this wasn't actually helping. "…and this isn't important! Time's gotten changed, and I have to change it back! This isn't the right timeline!"

Once again, completely blank faces around her.

And Buffy had a horrible, sinking feeling in her chest, as she realized… they'd never work it out.

She spun around, to race out of the library, then hesitated. Ran back. Grabbed the boxes of band candy out of Xander, Willow, Oz, and Cordelia's arms, then dumped them in the trash.

"Don't eat the candy," she said, as she left the library.


The Doctor had just explained to Hartman exactly why she had to die. And she'd run. Which didn't bother him, any. He'd work out a way to get her, eventually. To make her pay for everything she was going to do.

Then, out of the shadows, a figure appeared, just in front of Hartman. Reached out and snapped her neck.

The crack sound resonated through the air.

"Well, now," came a southern accent from the States, as the figure turned around to face the Doctor. "Can't let you kill all the dirty whores by yourself, can I?"

The Doctor eyed the newcomer suspiciously, trying to decide what to say. What to do. He had been hoping to make Hartman's death fitting, to make it something she honestly deserved. Perhaps sucking her into the void and making her spend eternity surrounded by nothingness. Or making one of her super-secret alien weapons backfire on her. Or even banishing each and every one of her loved ones into a parallel and sealed-off universe, just so she'd know what it was like.

But, on the other hand, she was still dead. And that was all the Doctor needed.

(He simply didn't like the way the stranger seemed to relish the death.)

"This isn't a game," the Doctor told the stranger.

"No, I reckon it ain't," the stranger agreed, strolling up to the Doctor. He was attired in a black preacher suit, his hair flopping into his eyes. "For me, you could say it's something of a religious experience. Killin' all the whores. Makin' them see their own blood spilt upon the ground."

The Doctor was about to inform the stranger that he was barmy and then walk away, when the Doctor caught the sight of something appearing from midair — out of the corner of his eye. He sighed.

"One of yours, then?" he asked the First. "Should have guessed. He's even more loopy than Omega."

"I thought it appropriate that you two should meet," said the form of Romana. She gave the Doctor a scolding look. "As much as you dislike the reality of it, Doctor, maintaining political and social connections with others is important."

"Call me Caleb," said the preacher, extending a hand. "A fellow bringer of the good word from the origin of all evil itself. A messenger of the Dark Lord since I first merged with him, five years ago."

The Doctor didn't take it. He raised an eyebrow. "Dark Lord? Didn't know Sauron was in town." He glanced back at the First, his forehead creasing into a frown, as he worked through all the implications of Caleb's statement.

"Is that supposed to be humor?" Caleb asked the First.

The First gave a small, proud smile. "He's thinking."

Speaking about him as if he were a pet doing a special trick. As if he were just their little trained monkey.

"Ah," said the Doctor, pointing at the First. "The temporal explosion. When you released yourself, you used the aftershock of the explosion to slide into our reality along every point in the past, present, and future. Just like the Hellmouth's always been here, so you've always been here, too."

Caleb looked lost.

The First just gave him Romana's challenging stare and vaguely amused smile. "Aren't you a clever one?" She gave a dismissive wave. "Still. Would be a simple deduction for anyone who'd taken a basic trans-temporal rift theory mathematics course at the Academy."

The Doctor looked the image of Romana up and down. "You don't do her very convincingly," he said. He nodded at Caleb. "Why'd you bring Mr. Freudian-Field-Day here, then? Or did you just want to show off all the 'perks' of being your faithful, willing servant?"

"Tell him," Romana commanded the Doctor, "about the Slayer."

The Doctor froze. Then turned, and tried to walk away. "There's nothing to tell."

He felt a jolt of icy fingers invading his mind, the psychic wave intruding so powerfully that he couldn't stop it, and he stumbled and collapsed against a nearby wall, his hands scrambling for purchase.

"I can read your thoughts," the First reminded him. "There's something about her. Something you noticed. I want you to tell Caleb what that is."

The Doctor glared at the First, trying to erect some mental shields, trying to fight back. But there was nothing he could do. The words left his lips as if forced out from somewhere deep inside of him, something he couldn't control.

"She shouldn't be here!"

Caleb gave a smile. "Of course she shouldn't be here," he said. "She should be hacked into little pieces! Severed and destroyed! Tossed into the cleansing fire like she deserves!"

The Doctor spun around and lunged for Caleb, but the First's hold on his mind tightened, and he collapsed onto the ground, unable to close the distance between them.

"Oh, don't overreact," said the First, rolling her eyes at the Doctor. "There's no point in harming her, now." She turned to Caleb, gesturing a hand at the struggling Doctor. "Honestly, he's always like this. A born fighter — and unable to stop. He even destroyed his own planet."

Caleb stepped in closer, towards the First, speaking in a low voice. "You sure about him?"

The First gave a proud smile. She made a gesture, miming yanking a chain, and the Doctor grunted as he felt the psychic tug that followed, echoing a thousand times stronger within his own mind.

"He's quite safe," the First told Caleb. "For me, at least. I can see every thought, hear every mental whisper. All he knows, I know." It raised an eyebrow at Caleb. "And without him, I'd have to wait. To adhere to the balance."

Caleb eyed the Doctor, warily.

The First stepped back, and spoke in a louder voice, one that both Caleb and the Doctor could hear. "I've been listening to the Slayer. She says she's from the future. She says this reality isn't her own, and addresses me like an old enemy. Even though I have only just met her."

"Then we will be victorious!" said Caleb. "In the future, your plans will succeed, and evil will—"

"She's not from the future," the Doctor said, getting back to his feet. "Not our future, at any rate. And even if she were, she isn't anymore."

Caleb frowned.

"The moment she appeared in the TARDIS in her younger-self's place, the future changed," the Doctor explained. "She made a different set of decisions. A different set of choices." He glared at the First.

"He asked her to kill him," the First explained to Caleb. "And she didn't." She sighed, and turned back to the Doctor. "As if I would ever have let you die, while you were so nicely lined up to fall under my power."

"We're not gonna kill the Slayer?" Caleb asked. He seemed thoroughly disappointed.

"She has knowledge that may prove useful," the First dismissed. She gestured at the Doctor. "And for some inexplicable reason, she refuses to kill him. I believe she's in love with him."

Caleb made a disgusted face. "And him with her? Now that's mighty wicked."

"Him? No, not in love," the First dismissed. "He's curious. He wants to know who and what she is. Such an odd creature, he is. And so tedious to train."

"Oi!" said the Doctor. "Would you stop talking about me as if I were your pet?"

The First raised an eyebrow at him, then called out, "Heel!"

The Doctor felt his legs turning rubbery, and he thudded to his knees beside the First, who gave him a proud look.

"Good boy," said the First.

The Doctor seethed.

Caleb gave the Doctor a long, dark stare. "He'll keep fighting you," he said to the First. "He ain't gonna stop just because you gave him a slap on the wrists."

The First's eyes glowed in anticipation. "I don't think that's going to be a problem."

Is Caleb being smart to question the First for choosing the Doctor? Or just feeling jealous that he wasn't chosen, himself? Probably a little of both.


Buffy bit her lip, then turned and raced out of the school. She was going to hate herself for doing this, but dangerous times called for dangerous allies, and the most important thing was correcting the timeline. To do that, she needed the one person who knew how to summon creatures of chaos. The one who was currently in town, distributing drugged band candy.

She needed Ethan Rayne.


"He's your choice, then?" Caleb asked the First.

"Well, he'll do for a start," the First admitted. "Until I can get my hands on the Key, and kill him off forever. Then it's just a matter of manifesting inside the rest of the universe."

"And he knows nothing about this?" Caleb asked. "No idea as to your real intentions?"

The First rolled its eyes. "Of course he knows," it said. "He worked it out the moment he heard that I was making him my servant. He's a clever one."

Caleb looked back, staring off where the Doctor had once been. "He seems a bit…"


"Belligerent," Caleb said.

The First crossed its arms. "Are you questioning my judgment?"

"Not at all," Caleb insisted, backing off.

The First glanced off in the direction the Doctor had disappeared. "He's strong-willed," it admitted. "But powerful. Very powerful. And there's so much darkness in him."

"He holds it back," said Caleb. "He struggles against it."

"He relies on human beings to lead him back from the precipice," said the First. "Kill them, and any goodness left in him will disappear." The First smiled. "Revenge. Strength. And power. Everything I need in a new host. I will manifest inside of him, Caleb. I will crush him. And with his power, his strength, his intelligence — I will be unstoppable."

"I have no doubt," Caleb assured it. "I just thought your new host would be one of your disciples. Someone worthy of your divine splendor."

"He operates outside the balance," said the First. "And even fighting against me, he can do more harm to this world than you can, as my willing servant." It shrugged. "An obvious choice, really."

"And a dangerous one," said Caleb.

The First sauntered over to Caleb. "I've had eons to delve into his mind," it said. "Millennia to work out how to control it. He can fight and struggle all he wants, but in the end, there's nothing he can do. No way he can stop me. It is only a matter of time before he is fully under my control."

Caleb gave a small frown. "Time is what I'm worried about."

This scene doesn't quite work. But I figured since it wasn't going into the story, anyways, it wasn't worth rewriting it to make it work. The point I wanted to make sure I, personally, remembered for the rest of the story is that the Doctor believes Caleb is an idiot because he follows the First willingly.


"One day," the Doctor said, softly, "you will decide to come with me. One day, you will turn your back on your friends, family, and duty, and help me in my purpose. And you will choose to do it."

He swept out a hand, knocking back Willow, who'd been sneaking up behind him, and sending her tumbling to the ground. He turned, not even sparing Willow a second glance, and began to walk away.

Buffy found herself transfixed to the spot, unable to move, barely able to breathe.

"One day," the Doctor called back to her, "Buffy Anne Summers. You'll help me."


"Mighty foolish, that is," Caleb mused, emerging from the shadows and strolling up beside the Doctor. He looked over his shoulder, at where Buffy was standing. "She won't help you. No, sir. Take my word on it. That little girly back there — she'll drag you down into the mud, with her filthy lies and whorish sins."

The Doctor ignored Caleb.

"Now, I reckon, if you wanted to do it clean and nice," Caleb continued, "you could set a trap, see. Sacrifice her on the altar of our one true savior. Spill her blood upon the—"

"You're an idiot," the Doctor cut in.

Caleb paused. Then gave his twisted half-smile, the one he always gave when he fantasized about murder and bloodshed. "You reckon?" he asked. "Because I'm just as good at setting traps as you are. Better. I get more results. More blood spilt. Tally up the scores on the walls of Hell, and I win — every time."

"And you want a medal for that?" asked the Doctor.

"Already got something better," said Caleb. "After all. At the end of the day, when all's said and done and the First's consumed this world, I'm going to be at his glorious side. Partakin' in the bloodshed." He glanced over at the Doctor. "Whereas you… well, you, my friend. You'll be dead."

The Doctor didn't answer.

"Sounds to me," said Caleb, "like I'm the clever one, Doc."

The Doctor put his hands in his pockets, and shook his head. "You follow the First willingly," he said. "You believe every lie told to you. That's what makes you an idiot, Caleb. The biggest idiot of them all."

This scene was vital to write. In the previous scene, when the First is taunting the others, it has this entire thing in the back of its mind. Which is why the First gets so defensive and insistent about its own power over everyone and everything. And why the First doesn't want to answer any questions about the Doctor taking down Torchwood before the Slayer.


"You heard about the balance between good and evil?" asked the First, in the form of Jesse. "Well, I'm done with it." His eyes twinkled. "And with Torchwood gone, and the Doctor in my power — I never have to worry about the balance, again."

"Huh?" Xander asked. "What's Torchwood got to do with the balance?"

Jesse winked at them. "All you need to know," he said, "is that you're all going to die. And there's nothing you can do to stop it." Then he folded into the air, and vanished.


"We've got a problem," the First told Caleb.

Caleb gave the First a smirk. "Well, don't want to say I told you so, but… I told you so."

"I've had millennia to work out how to control his mind!" the First retorted. "I know every string to pull. Every card to play. Every emotion to unlock to make sure he does exactly what I want. That's not the problem."

Caleb's smirk dropped a little. "The Slayer?"

"Rose Tyler," the First corrected.

Caleb laughed. "Another dirty little girl?"

"She can manipulate his mind," the First complained. "Loosen my hold over him. She asked him not to kill someone, and now he refuses. Stubbornly refuses!" The First stomped his foot. "And I can't reach in and change his mind!"

"She's his dirty little whore, ain't she?" asked Caleb.

"In her future," the First said. It paused. "And one of my bitter enemies. From a long, long time ago. Back on Krop-Tor."

"Then I'll get rid of her," Caleb promised.

The First shook its head. "She's got too much power over him," it muttered. "If you strike out, he'll strike back. You'd never be able to touch her." The First began to pace. "What we need is something to keep him occupied. Someone else he can obsess over. Someone very far away." It smiled, as it looked back at Caleb. "Someone he's curious about."

"Curiosity got the cat," Caleb agreed.

I needed to write the moment the Doctor worked out that Buffy died, in her own past. So when I mentioned it, later, it made sense to me in my mind.

This wound up being the first time I wrote the evil Doctor to be enthusiastic, geeky, and boyish. I loved the way it turned out. So I shoved it into the rest of the story.


"I think I'd like to meet this 'Doctor'," said the Mayor. "Make him an offer he can't refuse."

"And the Slayer?" asked Mr. Trick. "Should we kill her?"

"No, no!" said the Mayor. "I can't give up my best bargaining chip, now, can I?" He folded his arms, thinking the matter over. "If this Doctor wants her — well, you and I both know she'll never give herself up without a fight." He tilted his head. "I say — let's give the man what he wants."

"And how do we take her down?" Mr. Trick asked.

The Mayor grinned.


"This is interesting," came the voice of Buffy Summers.

The Doctor glanced up from the device he was working on, but his expression didn't change. He just noted the occurrence, then turned back to his work. "You're not her."

"And he isn't even surprised," the First sighed. She crossed her arms. "Explain it, brainiac. Why can I turn into Buffy?"

"She must have died," the Doctor said. "In her reality. And been brought back to life. You took advantage of the fact that the balance between good and evil had shifted so wildly between such extremes, and began harassing her. The way you always do." He hit the side of the machine, frowned, then scurried over to the other side. "Her transfer into this world wouldn't have affected the Slayer Line. But her personal timeline would still allow you to perform your little trick."

"So we are old enemies," the First confirmed. "In her reality."

"Perhaps she hates you as much as I do."

"I don't think anyone could hate me as much as you do, right now," said the First. It snuck over to the Doctor, and leaned in closer. He gritted his teeth, and pushed back as hard as he could with his own mind. A valiant but futile gesture of defiance. The First stayed put.

"Then why is she here?" asked the First. "In this reality?"

"No idea," said the Doctor, popping back to his feet, as the device lit up. He grinned, his eyes dancing with excitement. "Oh, look at that!" He rushed over to the display, whipping out his brainy-specs and peering at the output.

The First sighed. "I give you ultimate power over everything, and you use it to build gadgets," she muttered. "Talk about science geek."

The Doctor ignored her. He put a hand up to the screen, tracing the letters as if they could tell him something, reverence in his every action. "Now, what are you?"

The First's interest peaked. "What have you found?"

"I don't know." The Doctor beamed. "Brilliant, isn't it? Love not knowing."

"What you've found is powerful," said the First, analyzing his mind. "Very powerful. And… not from this world."

"Came with her," the Doctor concurred, shifting a few parameters on his device. "Thought I felt something, at the back of my mind. Course, hard to detect these sorts of things by myself, what with you cavorting through my mental landscape willy nilly."

If the Doctor had expected the First to retreat from his mind, at this comment, he was to be disappointed. For the First did the opposite. It knew his tricks. His traps. His distractions. And it knew that this was an attempt at manipulation.

An attempt to hide something.

The First dug for it. Rummaged through his mind, seeking it out. And then, narrowing in on the information, the First drew the thought out, inspected it in the open, and smiled.

"This thing you've found," said the First, "it's a weapon."

I had this idea that Caleb calls Rose Tyler a whore (because Caleb calls everyone a whore), and the Doctor blows up at him. I also knew that Jack was around, defending Rose.

I wanted this to be the reason the Doctor doesn't blow up the Watchers' Council. Because the Doctor cares more about saving Rose than about killing some Watchers.

So I wrote this scene.

When I deleted it, I realized that it was a little hard to tell where the Doctor was, during that time, and why he wasn't blowing up the Watchers' Council. So I stuck a bunch of "Bad Wolfs" around it, just to make sure that everyone knew it had something to do with Rose.

I think most people got that.


The Watchers around Travers laughed, as they all flocked back into the Watchers Council building. Giles stayed behind, a moment, staring at the still-standing building. Trying to think it through. Trying to work out why.


Why would the Doctor do nothing?

Giles turned to follow the others into the building, then paused, and glanced back. At the shop opposite him.

The Bad Wolf Boutique.

What an odd name for a boutique. And what an odd thing he hadn't noticed it before. Had it always been called that? Of course it had. Silly that he hadn't remembered.

He sighed, then re-entered the Watchers Council.


"You keep your hands off of her," Jack warned, standing between Caleb and Rose.

Caleb grinned at Jack. "Now, here's someone I like," he said. "Y'see, most folks, when you kill 'em, they stay dead. But this one…" He reached forwards, and plunged the knife into Jack's flesh, faster than Jack could react.

Jack fell, lifeless, to the ground.

"How long d'you reckon that'll take to recover from?" Caleb asked Rose, wiping off the knife blade. "Long enough to kill a dirty, filthy whore like you, I figure."

Rose tried to run, but Caleb caught her by the wrist, her wide, terrified eyes fixed on him.

"Let me tell you a story," he said, the knife blade by her throat. "Once upon a time, there was a valiant child. Who tried to defy the one true power in this world. But she was a sinner, a dirty whore whose unclean filth needed to be purified." He gave a cold smile. "Through his one true servant."

Rose squeezed her eyes shut.

Then, faster than anyone could process, Rose was released, and Caleb was thrown back against the side of the building, cracking the "O" in the graffitied "Bad Wolf".

"Jack," came the voice of the figure that had just appeared between Rose and Caleb. A figure in a pinstripe suit, with brown eyes that shone darker than coal.

Jack gasped back to life, and the moment he saw the Doctor, he swore. He stumbled to his feet, grabbing Rose by the shoulders, protectively, trying to seem as threatening as he could against the man he'd once idolized above all others.

The Doctor afforded him only a glance. "Get her out of here," he demanded, his eyes resting back on Caleb, his every muscle pulsing in anger.

Jack looked between the Doctor and Rose, then decided that he was better off trusting the Doctor than Caleb, and bundled Rose off towards her Mum's.

The Doctor just stayed, glaring at Caleb.

Caleb gave an unhinged laugh. "Trust you to come back for your whore."

The Doctor didn't bother answering Caleb. Didn't even bother to acknowledge him. He glanced at the area nearby, at the empty air and abandoned spaces, and said, in a loud voice, "How often?"

No answer.

"How often!" the Doctor shouted. "How long has this been going on? How long have you been trying to kill her?"

"Ever since I discovered she could control you," came the voice of Romanadvoratralundar, from behind the Doctor. "Better than I could." She gave her regal, Time Lord sigh, the way she always used to when she was alive. "Really, Doctor. You fight and struggle against someone as powerful as me, but one word from a twelve-year-old child, and you fall to pieces."

The Doctor looked around, noticing the Bringers vanishing into the distance, and his expression grew even graver. "Every time I've been in Sunnydale. You've been here. Trying to kill her."

"I'm surprised it took you so long to catch on," said Romana. "You're getting old, Doctor."

"I knew you were up to something," the Doctor growled, advancing towards her, "the moment I discovered every single Watcher was gathered together in one place. It wasn't hard to work out the rest."

"Problem with you," Caleb put in, getting back to his feet, "is that you're weak. Pushed around by these unclean folk with all their womanly wiles."

The Doctor eyed Caleb, with dark eyes, then shook his head. "Oh, you stupid, stupid man."

"Y'see, I saw the light," Caleb continued. "I saw the future. And it belongs to the all-powerful, all-knowing power of the First Evil. The Devil Incarnate. The Great Master of Horrors Untold! The all-mighty—"

"You've seen the future, you say?" the Doctor asked, stepping forwards, his strides long and his face stormy. "Funny thing. So have I. And you know who isn't in it?" He stopped, his face right in Caleb's. "Anyone that dares to call Rose Tyler a whore."

And with a click from a red pen in the Doctor's hand, Caleb vanished.

The First sighed. "Was that entirely necessary?"

"Yes," said the Doctor, glancing down at his hand. "Always." He untucked a fold of his shirtsleeve, to reveal the item he'd just stolen from Jack, just now. The vortex manipulator.

"The time-loop seemed to be thrown in purely as an act of revenge," the First pointed out.

The Doctor, for the first time, allowed himself a smile. "All of it is necessary." He threw the pen onto the ground and smashed it with his foot, then took out his sonic screwdriver, and buzzed it at the vortex manipulator. "Entirely necessary."

The First tensed, a little wary. "What are you planning?"

The Doctor looked over his shoulder. "Your complete destruction, of course." He raised up the vortex manipulator. "What else?"

And with a press of the button, he vanished.

When I got to this point in the story, I hit a dead end in terms of inspiration for where to go next. I knew that it would take Jack and Rose a certain amount of time to get across the country, and I needed Buffy to kill some time so they could arrive.

But I didn't really know what she could do.

So I just started writing deleted scenes, until some inspiration popped into my head.


"Buffy," said Willow, in a low voice, coming up beside her. "I don't get what's going on. I don't get why you suddenly have super-powers, or why you can't kill the Doctor, or who Dawn is and why you want to find her so much. And I know if I ask you to clarify, you'll just start stalling again. So tell me one thing." She gave a sad sigh, glancing around herself. "Before the Doctor came. The world. Was it better than this?"

Buffy said nothing for a long time. Then, with a heavy reluctance, she nodded.

"A lot better?"

She nodded again.

Willow turned to all the others. "Then we know what we have to do."

"Don't!" Buffy cut in. She stepped in between Willow and the others. "Look, I'm going to stop him. I'm going to fix all of this, and make sure he never hurts anyone ever again. I just… can't… you know."

"Kill him," Anya provided. "Harm him. Let him die. Wish him ill. Want him strung up by his toenails and flayed alive for sleeping with you and then ditching you." She rolled her eyes. "Seriously. What kind of a woman are you?"


"You can't run forever," said the voice of Romana.

The Doctor spun around, and saw her non-corporeal image before him.

"And if I don't," he said, "I die. That's how it goes, isn't it?"

"You're mostly dead, already," Romana told him. "If you give in, let me take over voluntarily, I might let some of you survive."

"Oh, you'd do that anyways," the Doctor replied. "You need some of me in there, so you don't get caught up in your little 'balance'. Until you get the Key, that is. Then the whole universe is in your hands, and I become disposable."

Romana shifted before his eyes, and turned into a pouting Susan. "Please, Grandfather!" she whined. "Can't you just give me what I want?"

He grinned at the apparition. "Nice try."

"I'm going to take her anyways," said Susan. "You can't stop me."

"I can't," the Doctor agreed. "She can. Both of them." His eyes glowed with anticipation, as he leaned down to look into the First's eyes. "You used me. You manipulated my mind, tried to kill me, and threatened every single one of my friends. And — you know what?" His grin fell off his face, and his eyes grew dark. "I'm going to destroy you for that."

The First morphed into the form of Rassilon, as it sent a crippling psychic jolt through the Doctor's mind. One that made him cry out, toppled him to the ground. One that made his face ashy and white, his eyes unfocused, his jaw tensed in pain.

"What I've failed to mention," said Rassilon, "is that I've tightened my reigns. Your days of freedom are over, Doctor. Your running is at an end. You cannot hide from what you are."

"What you want me to be!" the Doctor gritted through his teeth.

Rassilon circled around the Doctor, boots crunching against the fallen leaves. "You are my puppet. My new vessel. The form in which I will manifest. Your petty rebellion is fruitless. Your futile attempts to shield your thoughts absurd. All you know, I know. All I am, you will be. No one can stop me."

"Then why are you worried about Rose?" the Doctor demanded.

Rassilon laughed. "Your valiant child?" he asked. "She will die, Doctor. And so will the others. Every one of your links to humanity, every person who makes you slip that much more from my grasp. They will fall, one by one, until there's no one left." Rassilon paused. "Well, no one except Jack."

The Doctor leveled his gaze at Rassilon. "That's what I thought," he wheezed, as the mental pain intensified. "Her power was greater than yours will ever be. You can't kill Jack. You can't stop the Bad Wolf." He stifled a yelp of pain, as the First pulled at the Doctor's mind. "And — because of that — you'll never... ever... get... the... Slayer!"

The First turned back into Romana, kneeling down in front of the Doctor, her eyes blazing. "I'll get the Slayer," she hissed. "That Scythe is mine. And I'm going to use it."

"Oh, Toby," said the Doctor, trying to force a laugh, but failing. "You, of all people, should know. It is not for thee. It is for her alone to wield."


It's interesting how things change. When I first wrote that, I thought the Doctor was right — that Rose's omnipotent power as the Bad Wolf was the reason the First couldn't touch Jack or any decision Rose made in that moment.

Now, I have a different reason.


"I don't understand why we're doing this in the first place," Jackie Tyler complained, trudging through the prairie. "We were living in a perfectly good cave back in London. And then," glaring at Jack, "he shows up."

"Mum," said Rose, with a sigh. "We're going to be fine." She turned back to Jack, and asked, in a softer voice, "Why doesn't she remember?"

"She doesn't have one of these," said Jack, taking out a small Yale key on a string.

"Neither do I," Rose pointed out.

"You will," Jack assured her, putting the key back into the pocket of his military greatcoat. He held out his hand, and stopped the others a second, listening for signs of danger. Because he knew there would be danger. There was always danger.

"Jack!" Rose gasped, grabbing him by the arm and spinning him around. She pointed to the eyeless monster heading towards them, and Jack could feel her trembling.

He forgot, sometimes, just how young Rose still was. That she was only twelve years old — and not yet the fearless, determined, strong Rose that he had met back in World War II. Just twelve.

(And that damn Caleb had the gall to call her a whore!)

"Get back," Jack warned her, stepping forwards and unsheathing a sword he'd picked up the moment he'd discovered that guns had no effect on the eyeless creeps. He hadn't been great with a sword — the swordplay he was used to was usually a lot nakeder and way more pleasant — but he'd gotten increasingly better at it ever since this ordeal had begun.

Rose stumbled back, huddling closer to her mum and Lily. Jack lunged towards the eyeless creature, who threw him back, and he rolled across the ground, popping up to his feet as quickly as he could.

But it was the roll that proved his undoing.

As always, when Jack got too close to them, Lily began screaming. Jackie tried to hush the child, Rose tried to soothe her, but the noise had caught the attention of every other undead creature nearby. A number of other eyeless beings began to emerge from the foliage, along with vampires, demons, and probably a few old fashioned wild animals.

Rose took Lily from her mother, and held her very close, rocking her so that the child grew calmer. Rose tried to hide the terror inside her under a mask of determination, but it was clear that she had no idea what to do.

Jackie, of course, had resorted to yelling at Jack for getting them into this whole mess in the first place.

Jack looked at the circling monsters. "All right, Doc," he said, to the air. "Now would be a really, really good time for one of your miracles."

As if on cue, the TARDIS key in his pocket began to glow red hot.

Jack winced, as he dragged it out, and it shone through the night, glowing as if illuminating the darkness. At the sight of it, the creatures began to shudder away, their hands over their eyes. Even the eyeless creatures retreated, as if the glow of the key burned them.

"Why… why did it do that?" Rose asked.

Jack had absolutely no idea. But he just grinned at Rose, and winked, as he put the key away in his pocket, once more.

"Someone out there likes you, Rosie," he said.

He turned, looking for the next marker, and — sure enough — found it up ahead. One lone tree, by itself, carved with the words, "Bad Wolf."

In a very familiar handwriting.

"Guess that's where he wants us to go," muttered Jack.


Anyways! After writing those two scenes (actually, the Jack and Rose scene I wrote first, then the other one), I just thought the thing about the Scythe and the inscription was too good to keep in a deleted scene, so I had Buffy show up and find the inscription for herself.

I started writing that scene, where Buffy beats up the monks and the First, disguised, shows her the inscription, but ran into problems. The monks kept referring to what the Doctor had done, when he showed up at the community, and I figured I needed to work out what really happened, before I wrote it.


The moment the Doctor had shown up at the cave community and seen the four monks — one of whom, suspiciously, couldn't touch anything — he'd known. Another case of him being used. Another instance of him being jerked around and manipulated.

He'd wanted to say something. Maybe to the other monks, but mainly to Toby. He wanted to shout at this non-corporeal nitwit who kept treating all this as if it were a game.

But Toby hadn't lied. The reins on his mind had been drastically tightened. He could feel himself losing control entirely, sometimes. Still able to see, understand, feel, but unable to take control and move himself about.

Toby's new vessel.


"Enjoy a good gloat, do you?" the Doctor asked, as his hands involuntarily carved the letters into the stone in the hidden chamber.

"I want Buffy Summers to know," the non-corporeal monk beside him explained, "that the Slayer is mine."

"Even though she isn't," the Doctor pointed out.

"She will be," the First assured him. "There's nothing you can do to stop me. Even now, your mind is crumbling."

"And, of course, you want to see if I'm right," the Doctor sighed. "As if I'd be wrong about something like this."

"That too," the First confirmed, as the Doctor finished the message. The First gave a sappy smile. "Good boy," it praised.

The Doctor turned on the entity, fire in his eyes. "Couldn't you just bugger off somewhere else and leave me alone?" he demanded. "There have to be other planets for you to destroy. Other people for you to kill."

The First laughed. "Oh, you don't even know how far you've fallen. Before this all started, you'd have been begging me to spare the others' lives."

The Doctor threw the chisel through the First. "What I want," he growled, "is my freedom. And I'll fight you for that every single day."

And so conclude the deleted scenes! I know I could have written a lot more, but these were really just intended as notes to allow me to know what was going on in the background of the story.

As the reader worked out more and more, it became less and less necessary to write scenes in the background.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this story! Stay tuned for the Bringer of Death.

The End

You have reached the end of "Your Nature". This story is complete.

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