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You ain't women enough

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This story is No. 5 in the series "Curing Boredom". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: They were two agents who were giving Fury a headache. Personally he didn't care about the Agents personal lives but these women were stupid enough to make a play for the Slayers' husbands. His solution - tell the Slayers and then watch the fireworks

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Marvel Universe > Avengers > Buffy-CenteredhellbellsFR1511,5951176,3471 Dec 121 Dec 12Yes
Authors Note: For PixieInTheDark - enjoy! Thanks to all who have read and reviewed the other stories in the 'verse.

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, all rights belong to their respective owners! I also do not own the rights to the song You ain't women enough to hurt my man.

Fury had never made it a habit of employing stupid people. It just wasn't sensible they cost too much to replace, and that was a pain. However two of his latest recruits, Clara Walker and Angela Stephens, were dragging down that average. Why? Well the girls were determined to sleep with two of his male agents.

Fury just knew that these two agents were about to be schooled - old-school. The idiots had been making a play for two of Shield's more infamous husbands. The two female agents were senators daughters, it rankled but even Fury had to play the political game. The daughters were spoilt and sitting at desks where they couldn't cause harm.

The harm that the 'wives' could cause though, well that was certainly more of an asurety.

At the start, the flirtations had been amusing and Faith, Buffy and Natasha had made jokes about it. And then Steve and Clint had made their initial polite rejections. The men had been firm, but made it clear that they were married and honored their wedding vows.

Clara's response to Steve had been very abrupt, "I'm not gonna tell your wife."

Angela's to Clint, "I don't care if you’re married. No one needs to know."

For once in their lives, the Avengers had been speechless and mindful of the political capital of the two young agents - said nothing at all. Well they did mention how uncomfortable they were. You see Buffy and Faith had political power that they could use to make the agents back off. The men were teased but Clint had stopped that with one statement, “Yes the big bad archer will hide behind his woman.”

Stark pouted because it really sucked the fun out of teasing Steve and Clint when they joined in. Buffy had grinned and promised that her vows to love, honor and all that jazz included protecting her hubby from tramps.

Fury wished sometimes that he'd made a rule about the Avengers training on the Hellicarrier. The highly trained agents, who for the most part he respected, would turn into the worst type of screaming fan-girls and boys when the Avengers trained. The drooling agents were sitting on the bleachers offering loud, often lewd comments. Fury didn't care which agent slept with which agent. However he did care when they caused friction in his top team. The solution was simple and rather elegant. Fury had offered the slayers the chance to settle the argument once and for all. It wasn't even a calculated risk.

At the moment Clint was sparring against Tony sans Armour and Steve and Thor were sparring. It was kind of an unfair match up any other way. That is not to say that the other Avengers didn’t spar with them, but that part of training was considered, how to take a punch. Fury actually had to bite back a snicker; the slayers had definitely received their invite. He was also familiar with the tune they were humming, he would rarely admit to liking anyone, but the Slayers were two women that he definitely held a soft spot for.

You call to tell me something
You say I ought know
That he don't love me anymore
And I'll have to let him go

He watched as the two slayers entered and they were dressed for business - in leathers. He smirked as he asked, “Are you thinking of a career change? You can hold a tune.”

The agents were surprised to hear such warmth in the Directors voice. Then it begged the question, who was he talking too? Fury noted that the agents were desperately trying to get a better view of who he so obviously liked. Sadly though, they were so obvious that if they were out on the streets they would have easily been made. He made a mental note to ask Coulson to come up with a way to torture them. No scratch that, that wasn’t what he’d write on the paperwork. The paperwork would read that the senior handler was asked to devise intense training session to correct serious concerns about professional development. Yeah that would definitely get past HR and legal.

The slayers gave him an innocent look, he knew better than anyone that this was a trap. “You know we heard this song on the radio …” Buffy started her gaze swept across the crowd until low and behold, her gaze held the bitch who’d made a play for her husband.

Faith picked up the conversation thread … “and it just struck a chord you know.” Her movements flowing free and easy, making every man in the room that little bit more envious of Captain America.

Thor interrupted proceedings with his boom, “Slayers come spar - I’d welcome the challenge.” He always held a soft spot for the Slayers and not just because they were married to Clint and Steve. For one, they had gone on a trip to Asgard with Sif and caused merry hell through the army ranks. Odin had been so impressed that he’d named them honorary Asgardians.

Fury mock sighed, “And I wanted you to finish the song.”

Buffy’s grin was all cocky arrogance, “We’ll spar and finish the song.” It could have been mistaken for arrogance or wishful boasting. In fact some in the crowd, the ones who’d never seen the slayers spar thought it was exactly that but they were in for a shock. After all it was just like Buffy said ‘it wasn’t arrogance if you could back it up with arrogance’.

Faith grinned, she loved sparring against the team but unless there was the Hulk, Thor and Steve on the team it wasn’t a fair fight. The only fair fight was the Avengers v the Slayers. It used to bother the Avengers but as the Slayers had explained they were use to fighting unfavorable odds since they were young teens. Buffy had rolled her eyes and told them to get over it and learn from what they did.

You say you're gonna take him
Oh but I don't think you can
Because you ain't woman enough to take my man

Clint found being professional very hard - sometimes. Oh don’t get him wrong. He’ll always complete the job. Yet it was a little harder when the job was sparring against his wife, who was wearing one his favourite leather outfits. He took one look at the mischievous glint in Buffy’s eyes and realized that that was the point. He was grinning now, it didn’t take a genius to connect the dots. She was going to solve his little stalker problem and have fun doing it. He always loved his wife but at this very moment, he loved her a little more.

Women like you, they're a dime a dozen
You can buy 'em anywhere
For you to get to him I'd have to move over

True to their word, the slayers had started to spar and continued singing as they went. It was a little disheartening to some of the fitness freaks when they noticed that the women could go full tilt against Thor and belt out a show tune. As they kicked, whirled, bent double to avoid blows and then returned vicious punches. Then with a mischievous grin that Fury only barely caught they executed a pre-planned move that made Fury laugh. Faith and Buffy grabbed each others hand and executed a tandem kick that caused both Steve and Clint to land on the floor. The second they were down the slayers were upon them and straddling them - pinning them to the floor.

And I'm gonna stand right here
Well it'll be over my dead body
So get out while you can
'Cause you ain't woman enough to take my man’

Fury had to admire the style of the slayers and was appropriately grateful that they’d sent a message without causing physical harm against the agents in question. Oh don’t get him wrong he’d have probably made it go away. However he did appreciate not having to deal with the agents fathers - Senators always had a such a sense of entitlement. He did so enjoy showing them that it didn’t work with him. When that failed he’d usually set Buffy on them. She had grown in recent years, oh don’t get him wrong, there was no one like her when it came to fighting. What Fury was thinking about though was how well she’d taken to fighting on a political level. She had learnt a lot from her adoptive father and she played dirty. A bit like now really.

The two couples were keeping their appearances PG but none could mistake the sexual tension. The message was loud and clear - look don’t touch.

Sometimes a man goes lookin' at things that he don't need
He'd take a second look at you
But he's in love with me
Well I don't know where that leaves you
Oh but I know where I'll stand
And you ain't woman enough to take my man

Clint chuckled as he let himself be helped up. He grinned and pulled his wife close, “Oh babe. Others can tease and look but you’re my one and only.”

Fury rolled his eyes, “That’s so sweet ... go on and get out of my sight.”

Buffy clapped and giggled as she watched Faith all but drag her hubby away. You ain't women enough indeed. Her final sight was watching the venting women bitch to each other as they watched them leave.

Life was good and then there was the night .... that was better.

The End

You have reached the end of "You ain't women enough". This story is complete.

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