part one: creature of devestating sadness
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling & AtS belong to Joss Whedon.
Warnings/Spoilers: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire/ Angel Season Five
A/N: This is a Wishlist fic that came from a prompt provided by demented_mei.
A/N 2: Reviews are Good. This has been a subtle hint from the author - Please return to your regularly scheduled reading.part one: creature of devastating sadness
Luna blinks up at the canopy above her bed and contemplates what to do next.
When she opened her eyes this morning she wasn't alone.
No one in her bed - no, perhaps more disturbing (for she remembers quite clearly her First Year and what happened to Ginerva) what ever it is, is now right there with her in her mind. The presence isn't malevolent though, it makes no attempts to take her over or manipulate her. And that is why Luna feels startled instead of panicked and why she sees no need to jump out of bed and alert an adult.
She - for Luna can sense very clearly it is a she - is afraid and confused but much more than that she is distressed. A ball of pain and devastating sadness curled as tight as possible in the corner of her brain. It is instinctual for Luna to reach out and attempt to comfort the other being (for she does not know what sort of creature it is yet).
Luna has no idea what she is doing, but that never stopped her before, and she clumsily reaches mental fingers out to touch.
The being gives a yell of fright (that is startlingly loud for all that it is only within her mind) right before they touch but it is too late - Luna has already made contact and they are being pulled together....
....twisting, blending.......and then there is only darkness...
...And it is a sharp thing. This world that appears when she is able to see again.
Smooth surfaces come to abrupt edges that you don't realize the danger of until there is blood everywhere.So much
Yours. His. Jasmine's.
It's always about the blood.
Another memory stabs.
You can sense immense space: tall curving walls that echo when intruders enter and a corner of furs all your own. All your own because you
are all alone
here in a cave covered in equations you know are right but never quite work, were your sanity wavers daily. (Not a cow. Not a cow.
Luna feels like she should be screaming. This has gone on for so long, unrelenting memory after memory, jumbled and out of order, cutting at her - she wishes for softness
, for comfort
. Instead the thought of wishes brings chaotic half images of Cordy warning you about vengeance demons and the birthday cake when you turned 10 with the topping of a giant bright sunflower of frosting that twirls together.
The image of the flower twirls faster. Breaking apart and becoming flame - fire falling from the sky, raining down on L.A. And then the flame burns brighter - yellow into white into blue. Blue.
Hot so hot. She is burning. Insides liquidating - and she can feel all of it
. But the coldness that comes after is worse, she knows what the cold means and there is no coming back from it.
"Please, Wesley. Why can't I stay?"
Nothing else is after.
It echos loud and final.
Luna almost wants there to be despite the pain of it, wants somethings there to have been an ending to the story other than the abrupt stop. It reminds her too much of when she saw her mother die. That ending no one saw coming. And since she doesn't have an answer she gives that instead. As gently as she can, sliding her still sharp memory of seeing her mother become impossibly still, into the chasm of silence.
After the first it is easier.
And sharing the pain doesn't fix it - it doesn't make it better
...but they cry together.
And somehow that does seem to help.