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The Cos Knows

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Summary: Truer words were never spoken. Written for the Foresight Challenge.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
BtVS/AtS Non-Crossover > General(Current Donor)ManchesterFR131371058389 Dec 129 Dec 12Yes
Disclaimer: I own nothing. All Buffy the Vampire Slayer characters are the property of their original owners.



From where she was standing by the bed, Dawn Summers pleaded, “Buffy, just tell me what’s wrong!”

The younger sister stared down at the huddled form under the sheets with a mixture of exasperation and growing concern. This latter emotion was the strongest for Dawn, due to seeing for herself why the other Slayers had called in the Scoobies for help after their leader refused to leave the apartment all day or talk to them. Even more worrisome had been Buffy’s ordering in a delivery of enough booze and Ben & Jerry’s to make King Kong drop dead of either alcoholic poisoning or an ultimate brain freeze.

Glancing down at the heaps of empty bottles and licked-clean ice cream cartons she’d had to kick aside to approach the bed, Dawn’s attention was caught by Buffy’s sobbing voice, “I was in the bathroom this morning, Dawnie, and I found….it.

“Uh, what?” blankly responded Dawn to her sibling’s tone of absolute, loathsome betrayal.

The bedsheets were thrown aside to reveal Buffy in her yummy sushi pajamas blearily glaring up. She hissed at Dawn, “A grey hair!”

The Key’s first thought was to reach down to the floor for the nearest drained bottle and then clobber Miss Drama Queen with this for scaring everybody. Instead, she took a give-me-strength deep breath to next snap back, “Oh, come on! You have a salon visit every week just for that--”

Wildly shaking her head, which was making a rumpled mass of heavily-dyed peroxide blonde hair flap against Buffy’s pillow, the Slayer pointed a trembling finger at these locks bright yellow completely down to the scalp. Buffy then shrieked right into Dawn’s surprised face, “NOT FROM HERE!“

The pointing finger moved down to indicate another, much lower portion of the supine woman’s body, along with another protesting scream, “THERE!”

As if all this had taken every bit of Buffy’s strength, the Slayer’s eyes then rolled back in her skull and she passed out into a drunken stupor. This made Buffy miss how Dawn started howling with unsympathetic laughter over suddenly remembering one of Bill Cosby’s pithiest remarks about growing older: “You’re not really an adult until you get your first grey pubic hair!”

The End

You have reached the end of "The Cos Knows". This story is complete.

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