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Gifts of the Goop

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This story is No. 7 in the series "Acts of Randomness". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: A stand-alone Christmas parody; where Janus has provided chaos fueled goop from wounds inflicted by an initiation rite. Add Salt water and poof! Prezzie! [Edited/Standalone Version of ch.29 of my Magicbait story.]

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Stargate > Xander-Centered
NCIS > Xander-Centered
GenukaFR1311,026051,80523 Dec 1223 Dec 12Yes
A/n: This is the latest snapshot from my Magicbait story and a standalone Christmas parody.

If you're reading Magicbait don't be surprised if this sounds familiar. Its a stand-alone version of chapter 29.

You can thank GeorgeandFred for spawning the diamonds and ZPM ideas and Cryefourme for a number of the rest of the goop results. I seem to have a fondness for goop at the moment...

Disclaimer: I don't own BtVS, NCIS, or Stargate.



Gifts of the Goop

They had made it out of the emergency initiation ceremony and fight with the elemental with everything intact. The co-operative effort being put in by the SGC, NCIS, and the IWC was turning out to be one of the stranger situations that the groups had all dealt with. The Scoobies had delt with a few stranger ones but not by much. They were now in the infirmary getting looked over by Janet, who wasn't willing to put up with their usuall nonsense this time 'round. At the moment everything was going smoothly and there were no serious injuries of any sort. Despite the fact that Ethan, Giles, and Xander were all oozing a sort of goop that Giles had confirmed was related to the initiation ritual which had to be scraped out of their wounds and reacted strangely when it came into contact with salt water.

Of course that just meant the situation was just begging for trouble. So it shouldn't have been a surprise to anyone that Murphy decided that their lives weren't interesting enough and tripped a nurse who was carrying a saline solution to a different bed. Dumping the entire contents on the metal bowl filled with the acid green goop that was still slowly oozing out of Xander's wound. Those who watched the nurse's fall with some horror and no way to prevent it waited in dread to see what the goop became....

Xander instinctively rolled away from the water and the goop and discovered his bed had been laced with diamonds out of nowhere, diamonds embedded in coal and USB drives. Making his roll out of bed and drop onto the floor doubly painful. Everyone who understood the significance of the nurse's fall and who came back to themselves from the horror of watching it fall, dove for cover. Murphy and Janus obliged them by providing a small explosion from the bowl complete with a mini moss-green smoke mushroom cloud, scattering moss-green dust everywhere nearby. They peered over the edge of the bowl to see what the acid green goop had decided to explode into. The shocked expressions that resulted when they saw what awaited them were priceless.

"TWINKIES!!!!" Xander cried as he tried to leap for the golden cream filled cakes.

"NO!" Giles cried causing Teal'c to grab Xander around the waist holding him back from the magically appeared cream filled cakes. Xander struggled and was quickly reduced to weak flailing toward his chaos created treats.

Sam quickly came over and looked at the contents of the bowl and her eyes grew wide, as she made a sound of distress and shock deep in her throat. "ZPMs." She said in shock. "He made ZPMs."

"Quick! Lets pour some water on Giles' goop!" Jack said urgently.

"No!" Giles snapped. "This isn't a game."

But he was too late, one of the Marines had splashed some saline solution into his bowl of goop, producing a small explosion of dark blue smoke and dust. Giles shied back from the explosion but it was far too late to even hope to stop them. Everyone carefully looked inside the bowl and Sam gaped.

"That's not nitro." Jack sulked.

"That, that, that's the liquid naqadriah that's used to make the power cells in the Goa'uld weapons." Sam said dazedly.

"Indeed. It would seem that this substance is quite useful." Teal'c commented stoically.

"So, 3 crystal thingys that you guys like, with lots of Twinkies that we probably shouldn't let Xander have which came out of Xander's goop. This nak-quad liquid, that you said is part of the neat weapons which came out of Giles' goop. Sooo, what's going to come out of Ethan's goop?" Buffy asked almost perkily.

They all turned to stare almost hungrily at Ethan and his goop, making him fidgit nervously. "Leave me out of it." Ethan said raising his hands in surrender, away from his second initiation wound which would create a mirror scar to his first. "Take it!"

The same Marine who'd triggered Giles goop collected Ethan's bowl and handed him a new one, before placing it to the side and much more cautiously pouring the saline solution over the chocolate brown goop. The explosion of neon pink dust and smoke shocked everyone, especially Ethan. What resulted from the explosion was a pure white animatronic bunny with a bright pink ribbon around its neck.

"Well, Ethan old chap. I think that you got at least some of the chaos you asked for." Giles told him with a grin.

Jack stared at what he considered to be the very creepy bunny, then ordered. "Marine, kill it."

"No!" Abby protested as she jumped in the way. "You can't! Its a helpless bunny!"

That's when the bunny moved and spoke. "I luv you. Will you be my friend?" It asked sweetly, causing everyone to freeze and stare at the bunny.

Abby looked over her shoulder at it in horrified shock and moved away from it quickly shouting. "Gibbs! Kill it! Its evil! Gibbs!"

Gibbs calmly confiscated the sidearm of the soldier next to his bed and shot the bunny to pieces. Everyone then looked at Ethan who was sitting there on his bed, pale as a sheet, mouth open like a goldfish, staring at the remains of the bunny in shock.

"Not again." He practically babbled. "Not again. Why doesn't Janus ever give me anything good?"

"He gave you us." Xander pointed out. "Or rather he gave us you."

"Bed!" Janet ordered in her no nonsense tone. "Now."

"Well at least we got our Christmas presents." Jack snarked.

"That we did." Giles agreed as everyone obeyed the Mistress of the Infirmary.

"Merry Christmas To All and To All A Good Night." Xander quipped just as the lights were put out.



A/n: Thoughts? Questions? Comments? Suggestions?

The End

You have reached the end of "Gifts of the Goop". This story is complete.

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