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Summary: When Xander gets stuck on a Hell Dimension. He ends up on no other place than the soul cairn. Skyrim/Buffy

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Games > FantasyforgerofliesFR1835,559084,83923 Dec 123 Jan 13No

Don't you just?

"Ah, Touched by chaos, how lovely. Quite, you were bringing chaos even then haven't you? Good, good, I like that in a minion" - Sheogorath, Daedric Prince of madness

"Death is beautiful. Yet with it is pain, Xander. I was attracted to the mysteries of death. Blinded, fooled, I regret many things but teaching you this one truth will not be one of them. Remember Alexander, Death maybe beautiful, Immortality may as well be gold with how many search for it but as with many things in nature, beauty is but a lure... And gold? Gold is worse than worthless..." Durnehviir

Don't you just love spiders?


Ah, at times like this I feel like praising Sheogorath. The six spider women were closing in the room was a very large one but they were really fast for their sizes. I pulled a scroll from my pack and opened it. Quickly checking to see if I got the right scroll, after I confirmed I pricked my thumb with my sword, wiping the blood towards the center of the contract and read the words.

Two purple portals suddenly emerged one to my left and another to my right. Two skimpy armored women burst out of the portal swords at the ready. One of them, the aureal, was wearing golden hued armor, like an angel. And the other, a Dark seducer, wearing dark brown leather armor, exposed middle section... the works.

"Lord Xander" they both Chimed, "No time, You get those two, and you those two. I'll get the middle two. I said as we all burst into action. I ran to meet the two large spiders coming from the middle.

The one on the left screeched as if ordering the one on the right. With a speed that belies their size they raised their claws. I blocked the nearest one, the left spider, and twisted my body to avoid the other. Then I disengaged, jumping backwards as they both tried to impale me with their free claws.

They did something that surprised me though. They jumped, not upwards, it was more of a leap really. But that's not the point, is it. The point is the horse sized spider women jumped, leaped towards me with the force of a cannon.I parried their claw slashes for a second, my hand shaking from the force of their blows. Then my sword broke...

I stumbled forwards barely avoiding an overhead slash from one of my enemies. I forced myself to do a roll, a crouch and a recovery. Heart pounding in my chest and in my ears.

Ah. fuck it. "Qo (lightning)" Lightning surged on the dagger sized stump of my broken sword. I threw it on lefty. Straight at the back. Funny trivia about spiders they're slow on the turning, the large ones anyways... or it may be because... nah.

I pulled out one of my spare daggers from my pack, This one has a nasty curve on its blade, made for disemboweling and slashing... or so did the merchant on Dementia said.


Well it seems the death of Lefty made Righty quite angry. Charging at me with both arms-blade-claws raised as if it was aiming to decapitate me... Uh, uh not this time.

I avoided her attack by invading her personal space... and what do you know, it really is very good at disemboweling.


Well now that the daedra were finished I looked at my two summoned warriors, Elana the Golden saint (Aureal) and Zar'zarn the Dark seducer, elite warriors in Sheogorath's army. They were both finished with their daedra as well, they were now mostly arguing with who killed who, the fastest.

"Lord Xander, what do you command me to do?" Elana asked demurely but firmly. She sheathed her sword and stood attentively as if I was a general. All of the times I summoned using "The scroll" as I call it, It's always Elana and a random seducer... I wonder why. I do know of Zar'zarn though. She's a sparring partner when I'm at Dementia and I've summoned her once or twice... well more than that actually. Zar'zarn snorted at Elana, and Elana glared at Zar'zarn. It was all amusing to a degree, the competitiveness of the two factions in the army of Sheogorath.

"Hmmm... are those claws metallic by any chance?" Some of the daedra had weird bodies often contain metals and such. "They are my lord." Well, that's nice. "Rip them off then, bring them to the palace after we're done with this. I need a new weapon." They both shared a look, I sighed they probably are gonna race on it... again. "Take them all, I don't know how many I'll need." Zar'zarn gave me a wide grin, the same wide grin she always give when she thinks I'm going to do something crazy. "Very well." And they went to hacking the arms of the fallen daedra. It would've disturbed me given that they were quite Humanoid, but they tried to kill me so... they pay the price so to speak.


There was a puzzle mechanism protecting the gauntlet, It took some time but I aligned them to the right sequence, disabling the traps and the protections that the temple had for the gauntlet.

I picked it up, examining it closely, noting the white web like patterns contrasting the dark colors that the gauntlet had. It was beautiful in a sense, probably cursed or Sheogorath wouldn't have anything to do with it.

There was a rustle in the wind. An oppressive feeling filled the room. I see a woman floating around, glowing brightly. I had an inkling on what or who she was but I asked anyway "Who are you?"

"Hm, Hm, Sheogorath told me to expect you. My name is Mephala. Spider God" She said with a smile. Now face my Avatar, and you can get away with the gauntlet... no cheating." She said looking at the two daedra behind me, Elana and Zar'zarn. Well I thought It was too easy anyways.


I stared at my dagger, and then I stared at the "Avatar". The 11 feet tall spider woman avatar. Right then and there I knew "The world just ain't fair." The avatar startled to chuckle. "No. It rarely is." SHRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK

The whole place trembled as she shrieked. I see her smiling at me as she lunged. She was quite different than the earlier versions that we fought. For one she was freaking huge. She can talk. The more deadly difference was that she had with her four arms... wielding wicked looking maces and swords and a club, And a set of Arm blades just like the earlier ones too.

She was moving as fast as a slayer too. I pulled out another dagger for a main gauche this one was quite simple, a steel dagger forged it myself.

It was a running battle. I kept dodging backwards trying to avoid her blows and damage her arms in the process.

"Die, Die, Die!" She kept chanting under her breath. She had good coordination, I had to give her that I had a lot of wounds now mostly my armor was taking the brunt of the attacks that I failed to parry or dodge but if this went on I'm spider food in the near future.

I did injure some of her arms. Slash to the finger here, slash to the forearm there. One of the arms took so much damage it can't lift it's weapons any more.

"Qo" I said. Forcing the lightning into a ball to hit her. She stumble a little but for the most part was unaffected, that was more than I needed. I went inside her personal space, just as I did the last spider and readied to strike. "That won't work this time." She sneered. It didn't. She spat web at my face! Then swung her club at me so hard I think I broke a few ribs, or maybe it was me flying towards the wall that did it. Couldn't tell, kinda dying right now.

I couldn't really move right now. Can't even reach for the potion on my pack. My stamina is almost null, I'm breathing hard and painfully so as I do. I couldn't help but grin though. I released a pained chuckle... or maybe a sob I don't really know. Have I mentioned that the spider's eyes look darkened? No? Yeah I was kinda focused on the tits there for a second. "Come, come close to me I want to tell you something -cough- before I die." Well, call me crazy but this is the most that I have right now. "Why should I do that, I can kill you swift." She said smugly at that. "Do I look like I can do anything?" I asked.

Well I guess that answers my question. "Come, here I am, kill me then if you can." I taunted her. She moved fast and sure. In seconds I had two blades to my neck. "I want to tell you something before I die, come closer, please?" She seems to think it through for a second before doing what could be a shrug... for her anyways. " Be quick, I want your head on the floor as soon as possible." She leaned into me pressing her ears near to my lips. I almost laughed in joy of her stupidity, but I kept it... barely. "What is your message?" She asked.

"Nice tits. Strun." I intoned the word. Thunder. The sound that comes after lightning. Thunder. A sound akin to a sonic boom so close against a being who relies on hearing.

"-cough- I win."

She fell down to the ground hard. Writhing. Beautiful. Dying. Just like me. I'd bet I'm having Internal bleeding and a couple of fractures right now. Concussion too most probably. Coughing up blood. Intense pain in the chest, arms, legs, back... well most areas of my body.

"I... win"

Shriiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeek... She moved. She started getting up. Ah fuck it all.

I sat there... Mortified. If that's the right word.

Slowly. Getting her balance. Then she stumbled.

Come on stumble. Fall down dead. Gods... kill her now, smite her or something!

Shriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeek


I tried to move. But I can't, my body won't more or less.

Is it a bad time to have flashbacks of Ms. French's Biology Class?

"So Maam... I mean teach... I... Uh... So does... the.. Uh... Spider... How does It... you know see the... Prey? It has such small eyes... I mean." "Andrew right? Well andrew they can catch prey because they have specialized hair that detect vibrations on their feet, instead of hearing they don't have ears after all. They rely on that instead of their eyes most of the time.

Damn, I was mostly focused on her instead of the lesson that time. But I remember it because she mostly leaned on her desk and... well. Ahem. Evil Spider coming my way here.

"Fool." She raised her blade and... SHUNK.

"GAH!" Straight to the shoulders. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH" She raised me... the blades of her arm grinding my shoulder blades as she does so. "You think you can defeat a God's avatar? You are nothing but dust in their greatness." She pinned my other shoulder with another blade this time one of the swords. Her face is so close now. Mocking. "Think you can steal from the Goddess?" SHRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK

"Who (cough) the FUCK is (cough) your dentist?" I commented. Her showing her Knife-like set of teeth and all. "I'm gonna enjoy eating you." "You're a real man-eater alright (Cough)" even at the face of death I can still go with quippage right? "Let's start with soft tissue then." She eyed me with a smirk...


A/N And so endeth the chapter ;d

The End?

You have reached the end of "Eternal" – so far. This story is incomplete and the last chapter was posted on 3 Jan 13.

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