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Code Ragnarok: From the Files of Mark Brainerd

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This story is No. 3 in the series "Code Ragnarok". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: Mark Brainerd is a Trainee Watcher. With an apocalypse in the offing it's all hands on deck. Fortunately for Mark, the Powers That Be have found the perfect job that needs doing. This is fortunate? Isn't it?

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > GeneralHMaxMarius + 8 othersFR183326,99617219,05325 Dec 1213 Dec 13No

User Friendly by cwolf

Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy, Star Trek, or all the insanity in this series. And I blame my mind entirely for this.
Especially since there’s nothing Canon about it. There would be, except I’m too busy trying to figure out what happened to spawn it. Welcome to my weird mind.

Mark Brainerd had thought he’d seen everything, until that particular variation appeared.

“No, we don’t need any help.”

”We could be of immense help.”

”Yes, I’m aware… but we have plenty of data processing from various groups and entities visiting. Yours wouldn’t help much I’m afraid.”

“If you’re sure.”

”I am.” Mark said with a smile and waved as the strangest group of entities he’d ever seen walked back through to their own dimension.

He shook his head. “I’m not sure I want to know who wrote a fictional tale about that universe. Or why they insisted on calling the Borg, The Blog.”

Then he paused to consider. “Poor Federation.”

On the other side of the portal, a very confused council of various planets was convening to discuss the newest escapade of the slightly deranged, mostly harmless group of hive mind races that had been accidentally annoying them for years.

“What did The Blog do this time?” Chancellor Jean Luc Picard asked.

“Well,” Captain Kirk began. “It’s like this..”

First Officer Beverly Crusher interrupted him. “The Blog tried to get into our computers” she said as she elbowed Kirk. “And he distracted them with all of the locations of the nude beaches scattered throughout the federation.”

“Oh Lord.”

“It gets worse. They found some women and a few enterprising men who offered to show them how their races Assimilate. At last report, several Blogs reported error messages then imploded.”

“And?” Picard said as he rubbed his head.

”That was just one group.” Kirk grumbled as he tried to get things back on track.

”What else?”

“Another closed an interdimensional portal, permanently. With the help of some guy named Mudd. That was when the report from the other group hit the Blog ship he was on. He was last heard singing a ditty about “There once was a …”

”CAPTAIN!” Crusher yelled.

“His ship did survive. Though it was last reported being seen warping here and there in an erratic manner.” Kirk sighed as he rubbed his arm where Beverly had elbowed him again.

Picard sighed. “I’m not sure I want to know.”

edit: I don't see a resurgence. But, The Blog only pick nerds, geeks, and gamers who are willing to be merged. That, was in my head too. so there you go.
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