A/N: With the growth of the 'Stand and Be Counted' story-arc, the comedic arc of the Mark Brainerd stories doesn't fit quite as well, especially with a number of authors wanting to write their own. Manchester and I have decided, therefore to copy the comedic Brainerd stories into their own arc.
As noted in this first story, Mark doesn't get the more normal looking cases. He essentially is assigned the ones who look like they might be a little nuts. Sometimes there is a diamond in the rough (after-all, one look at the Valinar and a normal person would route them to Mark too, what with their Mythril armor and greater beauty than the Victoria's Secret models... and that's just the males...)
I will be adding the other stories this evening and throwing this open upon finishing the transfer.
Manchester asks the following:
The same writers' rules listed on the Series Page apply to 'Code Ragnarok: From the Files of Mark Brainerd', including-
1. No killing off, disappearing, or permanently maiming Mark. Anything else goes (snicker).
2. Keep in mind he's a minor bureaucrat, not a steel-jawed, muscular, ass-kicking hero! The best example of an identical fictional character is Timothy Upham, technician fifth class file clerk in Spielberg's Saving Private Ryan, who gets sent along with the battle-hardened veterans and genuinely tries his best. Mark's basically the same, who got given his job to free up someone for more vital purposes. However, what this trainee Watcher does is actually important, among the hours of boredom, moments of utter terror, and the increasing weirdness around him. He also has the unfortunate tendency of being singled out or otherwise catching the eye of his superiors to carry out minor details for them, which have the always-present capability of amusedly blowing up in Mark's face.
3. Have fun! The Bad Guys Are In Big Trouble Now by ManchesterDisclaimer: I own nothing. All Buffy the Vampire Slayer characters and Marvel Universe characters are the property of their original owners.
“Okay,” gulped the trainee Watcher who was one of the support staff assigned to meet with those individuals from other universes coming to help with Code Ragnarok. The larger groups and organizations from out there throughout the dimensions also offering their assistance were being dealt with by more senior Watchers and Slayers, but there had to be somebody to assist with the lone magic-wielders, armored mecha a hundred feet tall, costumed avengers of the night, bug-eyed aliens, and the really strange folks.
Guess who drew the short straw for today? *Yeah,* dolefully thought Mark Brainerd to himself, *Me.*
He looked again at the filled-out form hastily created for the current apocalypse, and not a single word had changed anywhere in this despite the truth spell laid upon the sheet of paper to confirm nobody was lying about their experience, qualifications, or reasons for joining in the good fight.
Nevertheless, Mark had to make sure. In a voice of growing incredulity, he asked, “You really fought and won against such guys like MODOK, Fin Fang Foom, the Mandarin, Thanos, Baron Mordo, Doctor Doom, and Wolverine?!”
“Yup!” proudly chirped the young woman standing before Mark’s desk in such a bubbly attitude for which if it hadn’t already existed, the word ‘perky’ would have to be invented solely to describe her vivacious mood.
Giving his head a little shake, Mark looked down at the form again, and without meaning to, his gaze was drawn to the answer given there on how the applicant had learned about the current crisis. Without looking up, the Watcher mentioned in a supremely hollow tone, “And, it says here, you found out and decided to come to work with us, just because I want to be absolutely clear about this, ‘The squirrels told me.’”
From out of the corner of his eye, Mark saw where the young girl still there was vigorously nodding to that.
Stifling a resigned sigh, Mark reached for a pen and then he scribbled his name on the “ACCEPTED” line of the form. Handing it back to his delighted visitor, the Watcher told her, “Welcome aboard, Ms. Green. Take this with you to the main conference room down the corridor, and they’ll decide how to best…use you. Good luck!”
“Thanks a lot!” beamed Squirrel Girl, who then bounced out of Mark’s cubicle, her prehensile furry tail waving gaily as she vanished from his sight.
Rubbing with his fingertips at his temples to alleviate the severe headache which had started up just a minute ago, Mark glumly called out, “Next!”