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It Comes Out Where?!

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Summary: A twisted type of 'Talk'.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Harry Potter > Non-BtVS/AtS StoriesReallyBoredFR151429031,26029 Dec 1229 Dec 12Yes
Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING HERE! The entire Universe of Harry Potter, characters, settings, materials, belong to J. K. Rowlings. I OWN NOTHING! IF YOU RECOGNIZE IT, IT'S NOT MINE!



Oi! This is one fic that deserves flames! Honestly, I'm just having a bit of a vent here. It's just a light poke at certain annoyances, nothing more. If you do decide to continue reading, remember--I recommend nuking it afterwards, and having the ground it was on salted!




A twisted type of 'Talk'.





It Comes Out Where?!




"Come here, son!" Magic King James Potter excitedly beckoned to his fourteen-year-old son, while his loving wife, Queen Lily looked on in beaming pride.

"Yes, father?" Harry James Potter gazed upon his parents in adoration.

"Son . . .We have found you--Five mates!"

"Mates, father?" Harry asked, excitedly, clasping his hands in front of his chest. His green eyes wide with wonder.

King James nodded with a gentle smile on his face. A smile mirrored by his wife.

"Yes, son . . .Mates! And one of them is a red head! Hint! Hint!" King James winked.

"My baby! All grown up!" Queen Lily sniffled, wiping away a tear from the corner of her eye. "Oh, James! We're going to be grandparents!"


James beamed at his son. "Yes, Harry! More good news! You are going to be . . .The Breeder!"

Harry squealed in excitement! "Oh! Oh! Oh! I'm going to be a mommy!" He bounced in place--Then Harry realized something . . .Something important. Something he felt he ought to ask his father about.

"Father . . .How is the baby suppose to come out?"

"Come out?"

"Yes. How is the baby coming out of my body?"

King James considered the question in silent bemusement for a moment. He mentally shrugged. Really, could childbirth be any worse then a bad case of constipation?

"Well, son, it's like this . . ."


Just at that point, Harry James Potter woke up gasping, in his bed, at Hogwarts. Harry bolted up into a sitting position, and stared around him in frightened confusion.

Then he heard IT.

Without hesitation, Harry grabbed his wand from the holster hanging from his headboard, violently threw back his bed curtains, and threw the strongest stinging curse he knew at the noisy, sleeping red head, in the next bed over!

Ignoring the screaming and cursing, Harry pulled back the curtains, and returned his wand to its holster. That, he thought, waving his hand in front of his face as he laid back down, will teach Ron not to eat fried onion blossoms before bedtime!






Oh, god . . .This has got to be one of the worse things that I've written yet! Now you can turn whatever WOMD you have lying around on it--'Cause I'm skipping town! ;p


The End

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