All characters from the Dune Universe are property of the Frank Herbert Estate. All characters from the Buffyverse are Property of Joss Whedon. Everything else belongs to me.
Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Buffy and Joyce lament over a burnt pie
“It’s Cajun Pie.” Buffy responds
- “The Body” BTVS S05E16
Under the burning Arrakis sun Buffy Summers walked alone. She trudged along steadily in the hot brown sand never looking up, never thinking about her progress. She was deep in thought as she dreamed and walked through the hundreds of years of life she’s had so far. First she was a girl with a normal life. A girl somewhere on Earth died and then she was chosen. She fought and bled and saved the world for seven years. Then her sisters, the other slayers, came and she was free for a while. Time went on and then she married. More time went on and then she married again. She had kids, and those kids had kids. In the end, she had died in bed surrounded by her fat grandchildren and one very strange young man with raven black hair and blue within blue eyes who smelled like dust and cinnamon.
She was awakened ten thousand years later on Arrakis, as planned, with the help of Illyria, monarch of the demon age. She was called here by a persistent vision of a boy with dark skin, black hair and the deepest blue eyes she had ever seen. The boy could see her as well. He was the Kwisatz Haderach in its true form and he was her son. They were both caught up in the net of the prophecy dream. He spoke to her often. They spent thousands of hours together before he was even born. It was because of that Buffy made her decision. Willow preserved her soul and sprit in crystals and stored them along with her flesh in a sacred tomb. Ten thousand years later Illyria fed the essence of her to the spirit source of the slayers. And when it was done, Buffy emerged as a beast that slaughtered the last of the demon lords. She tore off Illyria’s head with her bare hands.
There were other Slayers of Dune. She met them and lived with them. The slayer-witch Motorria Swatti was her son’s birth mother. It was by her magic that she combined the genes of Buffy Summers and Paul Muad’Dib. Their spirit source, the Destroyer, had ordered the birth. Her son was a weapon built to destroy the First Evil. He did so at great risk to himself. At the end, a trillion evil stars fell down upon him. He would have died if it wasn’t for her granddaughter who was one of the Powers That Be.
Buffy stopped in the sand for a moment as emotion overwhelmed her. She missed her boy. She had other children before him. But she knew that they were safe and happy in her old life. Her heart broke when Dracula brought her her son’s body. She calmed her rapidly beating heart as the Bene Gesserit had taught her and forced back her tears. She refused to give moisture to the dead. Buffy continued onward.
When her son had killed the First, a huge amount of mystical energy was released into the desert. It illuminated the night sky of Arrakis as fiery white bolts. The effect was called Thaumogenesis
. The energies of the First blessed the sands of Arrakis. Thousands of mystical beings were created. One of them was a creature with the memories of Count Dracula. Buffy pushed away the memories of what came next. The creature believing itself to be Dracula still had the same powerful pull on her. She fell totally, completely head over heel in love with him. She was with him for three hundred years. At the end, she accompanied him to the home world of the thinking machines where he would serve as an organic interface to a device that recorded, in real time, the life of every slayer past, present and future. It was there that the angel that called itself Dracula would love her for all eternally. Buffy continued her long march alone.
After Dracula, after Arrakis, Buffy left the world. She took a small Fish Speaker ship and headed into the great unknown. She avoided the other slayers and lived alone in a small village on a primitive backwater planet. There was a small chapterhouse there. The Bene Gesserit had found her. After nearly a hundred years of gentle prodding Buffy allowed the Bene Gesserit to train her. She had learned to focus her physical and mental skills to a level she had never dreamed possible. She had taken spice and had flown down the corridors of thousands of years of genetic memories. She realized how small her previous life was. As Buffy one night lay under the canopy of a trillion red, orange, green and white stars, her cells saturated with spice, she felt the inner door to herself open. She focused her enhanced mind on the open space inside of as her the stars above her head appeared to warp, space itself appeared to bend. She shifted her focus and the stars returned to their rightful place.
“The trick is to remain still and allow the universe to move around you. “ She’d had thought to herself. This is what her son had told the Slayers of Dune. This was the possibility they had never gotten to explore. If properly trained, she could become a female Kwisatz Haderach
and bridge the higher dimensions. It was in one of her spice trances that she saw her children. The seeds she had left in her old life and spread across the galaxy. She had billions upon billions of descendants. One of her descendants was a archaeologist at the University of Richesese. He was doing insightful work on the possibility of a third Atreides emperor. It was then that she decided to rejoin the human race. She changed her name and went back to school
“I’ve finished cooking.” Buffy often thought. She remembered the lame excuse she had given to Angel eons ago involving cookie dough. “I’m past done. I’m burnt, like cajun pie.” She said to herself as she walked alone in the desert. After a while she begin to run.