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What's My Die Hard

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Summary: Detective John McClane, late of the NYPD, takes a job with the Sunnydale PD and is assigned to investigate a shooting incident at the Sunnydale High School careers day fair.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Movies > Die HardDrDamageFR1866,392310112,63312 Jan 1326 Feb 13No

Chapter Two

Disclaimer: The Die Hard franchise is the property of 20th Century Fox and Buffy the Vampire Slayer is the property of Joss Whedon/Mutant Enemy. I own nothing. Literally. Nothing.

---- What's My Die Hard ----

The morning was bright and cheery, Looking around as he drove to the Sunnydale Police station for his first day working for what had to be the nations worst police department, judging by the crime statistics he had looked up prior to coming to Sunnydale, John McClane couldn't see it. Sunnydale, on the surface, looked like any other American small town. The people looked happy and, judging by their body language, felt perfectly safe. Statistical Sunnydale was a hellish place plagued by PCP use and gang violence. What he was seeing this morning seemed to contradict the statistics. People should be moving around in twos and threes, looking over their shoulders and showing symptoms of hypervigilance. There should be drug dealers lurking in shadowed street corners and alleyways, gangsters wearing identifiable "colors". None of which was evident.

Until he arrived at the Police Station, that is. The late shift officers, just coming off duty or still writing reports had all the hallmarks of a police force frantically trying, and failing, to stem a flood tide of crime. Faces drawn and eyes haunted, they barely noticed as the new guy was shown to the Robbery-Homicide office.

John was approached by a bald, portly, middle aged man who greeted him with a smile and offered his hand to John "Chief Bob Monroe, Detective, it's good to have you on board."

John shook Chief Monroes hand "Good to be here, Chief."

"Detective Stein here is the senior detective in our robbery homicide division. I'm sure he'll get you up to speed in no time at all." Chief Monroe said, indicating a balding man who was taller than both Chief Monroe and John McClane. "We've got a lot of cases to clear up so please, get settled in fast."

"I'll do everything I can. Here to help, Chief." John replied, still a little off balance from the contrast between the cheerful town he had just travelled through and a police department which was fairly plainly out of its depth.

"Good to hear, detective. Detective Stein, this is Detective John McClane, out of the NYPD. From his record, John should be able to take anything this town can dish out"

With that, Chief Monroe rushed off, a ruckus having developed elsewhere in the station. Detective Stein approached John and offered his hand, which John took. "Paul Stein, let's get your paperwork squared away. so everythings official eh?"

"Yeah, might as well get the unpleasantness out of the way, I guess" John replied, moving to the desk indicated by Detective Stein.

"Don't even think it, Detective" Stein replied seriously "unpleasantness is Sunnydale after sunset." With that, Detective Stein returned to his own paperwork.


---- What's My Die Hard ----


The uniformed officer at the law enforcement booth took a clipboard and examining it announced "Listen up and answer when I call your name." She paused, her attention on the clipboard "Buffy Summers?"

Buffy raised a hand in response upon which the officer put down the clipboard and grabbed her weapon, pointing it at Buffy in a highly polished, lightning fast motion. Buffy grabbed the officers hands shoving the pistol upwards just as the pistol discharged. The students crowded around began screaming and fleeing in all directions as the weapon discharged into the roof a second time. Buffy kicked the officer to the floor and the officers weapon went flying but the officer drew her backup weapon immediately and Buffy ducked behind a table as the third shot sent papers stacked on the table flying in all directions

Buffy fled, shouting "Get Down!" as she moved.

Oz, seeing the officers aim moving toward Willow, exclaimed "Look out!" pushing Willow from the officer's line of fire, putting himself there instead. The officers fourth shot caught Oz, and his motion took him to the floor with a cry of pain.

The officer's fifth shot neatly decapitated a random skeleton left standing in the hallway by somone from the science faculty but by then Buffy had disappeared from sight. The officer carefully approached the corner that Buffy had rounded then reversed direction in an attempt to circle around to Buffy's other side. Buffy took the officer by surprise, attacking as the officer rounded the second corner, sending the officer's second gun flying and the officer crashing to the floor.

Buffy settled into cat stance, anticipating the officer would attempt to attack her hand to hand. Her expectation was foiled when the officer drew a third weapon from an ankle holster and, taking careful aim at Buffy from less than 10 feet...

Had her last pistol kicked from her hands by Kendra, who followed up with a snap kick to the officers chin and took her own stance in support of Buffy while the officer went flying and crashed to the floor. The officer seized a nearby student and, bereft of pistols, snatched a small knife from a sheath at the back of her neck and held the knife at the students neck.

Two slayers faced off against the woman impersonating a police officer who held the slayers at bay by threatening the student's life, before the woman hurled the student to one side and fled.

---- What's My Die Hard ----

"McClane, you're up!" Announced Detective Stein "Check an unmarked car out of the car pool and head down to Sunnydale High School. A student has been shot. Uniforms are already on the scene and word is the shooter was a police officer. I'm tied up with this cyclops killing and our other detectives are questioning the people who had access to the ice rinks keys so you're on your own with this investigation"

McClane gave Stein a quick nod "On it, does dispatch know what the officer was doing in the school?"

"No, we're pretty sure the 'officer' wasn't one of ours. Whoever it was ran off and we don't have any uniforms unaccounted for."

"We've got people impersonating cops and shooting up high schools!" John replied, incredulous "Hell of a first day." He continued, heading in the direction of the garage.

"And it's only going to get stranger" Stein muttered as McClane left.
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