Large PrintHandheldAudioRating
Twisting The Hellmouth Crossing Over Awards - Results
Rules for Challenges

What's My Die Hard

StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking

Summary: Detective John McClane, late of the NYPD, takes a job with the Sunnydale PD and is assigned to investigate a shooting incident at the Sunnydale High School careers day fair.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Movies > Die HardDrDamageFR1866,392310112,63912 Jan 1326 Feb 13No

Chapter Three

Disclaimer: The Die Hard franchise is the property of 20th Century Fox and Buffy the Vampire Slayer is the property of Joss Whedon/Mutant Enemy. I own nothing. Literally. Nothing.

---- What's My Die Hard ----

When John arrived at Sunnydale High School, he found uniformed officers had already identified and isolated the various witnesses and begun interviewing them and the shooting victim being attended to by paramedics. The senior officer on the scene directed john to five of the closest witnesses. John reviewed the statements that had been made by the witnesses and asked some questions of each of the witnesses himself. The consensus, such as it was, and what there was of it, was that 'Oz' or Daniel Osborne, the boy who had been shot, had not been the shooter's target.

Jonathan Levinson was the most forthcoming of the witnesses. Jonathan had been briefly taken hostage toward the end of the confrontation between the shooter and Buffy Summers

"Californians!" John muttered when informed of the target's name

Jonathan Levinson bridled at that "S S Sir, B B Buffy isn't someone to be taken..."

"I get it, kid" John interrupted "I'm not going to underestimate someone who can not only survive, but drive off an armed assailant just because their parents should have been slapped around and told to pick another name."

"uh..." Jonathan didn't seem to know how to respond to the detectives snarky tone, so John dialled his normal attitude back just a little

"Do you know where I can find this 'Buffy Summers'? Or why she didn't wait for the police to take her statement?" John asked in his best 'I'm a cop, just the facts please' tone.

"Buffy spends a lot of her time in the library, sir." Jonathan replied, less intimidated now that the detective was being more formal. "I don't think it occurred to her that the police would want to... uh..." Jonathan's reply dribbled to a stop as he tried, and failed, to think of a way to explain to the detective that the usual police response would be to find the nearest rug and start sweeping the whole thing under it.

"Miss Summers is a bit of a bookworm then?" That didn't really fit the profile of an individual who could survive this sort of assault.

"Oh, no sir! She and her group aren't really academic types at all. Well, Except for Willow. I think Willow is the reason any of them get passing grades at all. Especially Xander"

"Willow has a last name?" John got out his notpad and pen. If he was going to have to find the shooter's target, he would need to get her known associates in case she wasn't in the library right now

"Willow Rosenberg, sir."

"And Xander?"

"Alexander Harris."

At least Alexanders parents could pick a normal name, even if their son apparently preferred a name just as outlandish as the other kids in his group "Anyone else in Buffy's group, Mr Levinson?"

"Uh, I suppose Mr. Giles would be the other one, sir."

John raised his eyebrows at that. This 'Mr Giles' had to be a teacher given Jonathan had used his surname and title rather than just his first name and last name. That struck John as a little off "And Mr Giles is?"

"Oh! he's the librarian, sir."

If the group hung out in the library he supposed that was a little less strange, still... "And the librarian isn't just in the library at the same time they are, he's part of their 'group'"

"Um, I don't really know, sir. Anytime I've gone to the library and they were there, they were usually talking to Mr. Giles."

This was interesting, but not really relevant. John set the matter aside for now. "OK, thank you for your help, Mr. Levinson." John handed the student his card "If you remember anything else, please, don't hesitate to contact me, alright?"

"Of course, sir"

A short, thin, rat faced man approached with the manner of someone in charge.

"You're detective McClane?" Asked the man

"Yes. And you are?"

"I'm Principal Snyder. I understand Buffy Summers was at the bottom of this. What are you charging her with?"

John was flabbergasted. "So far Buffy Summers' involvement in this is only as the victim of an attempted murder. Aren't you a little eager for me to be charging your students with crimes, Mr. Snyder?"

"Buffy Summers is nothing but trouble. She's a delinquent, always getting in fights, burning down school buildings, I just need an excuse..."

"Burning down school buildings?" John interrupted "Was she charged with arson?"

"No one could prove it was her, but it wasn't the first time she's been involved with that sort of thing."

"But no one could prove it was her the other time either?"


“I'll take your comments under advisement.” John offered diplomatically. He was reserving judgement on this Buffy, because people don't get shot at without a reason – good or bad – but this Principal Snyder had already rubbed him the wrong way. "Thank you for your time. I'll contact you if I have any other questions." He said out loud, but inside he was ranting about a principal that was trying to expel a girl who stopped a gunman. Why he would be trying to expel her might be a good subject for a little off-the-books investigation.

"Now see here, detective..."

"Were you here when the shooting took place, Mr Snyder?"

"Well, no, I was..."

“Then shut up. I've got your statement and will be treating it with all the weight it deserves. Now, I have a shooting to investigate. A shooting that happened on your watch. Principals have lost their jobs for less.” John glared until said principal skittered away like a rodent. In fact, John decided that was a good nickname for the man. 'Principal Rodent'. It had a ring.

John decided to find the library, If nothing else, this 'Mr. Giles' might be able to tell him where Buffy or one of her associates could be found. Jonathan Levinson had moved away when the principal had arrived but was still nearby. Jonathan was happy to direct him to the library and plainly itching to tell someone about the detective's smackdown of Principal Rodent. After making certain Sergeant Smythe would see that someone took Daniel Osborne's statement, Detective McClane set out for the library.

---- What's My Die Hard ----

As Detective McClane approached the library, he heard voices coming from inside.

"...Check and see if any of them are closed or abandoned" came the voice of a middle aged male with a distinct British accent.

"Yeah yeah, we got demons. We got monsters. But no bug dude or Police Lady." Another male voice, likely a student.

"You should have better luck with this one" came the first voice. "There's a section devoted entirely to the Order of Taraka."

The whole sequence sounded disturbingly like the sort of exchange which might take place in the Detectives' offices of a competent police force. With the exception of demons, monsters and 'bug dudes'. The sort of exchanges he hadn't heard much of at the Sunnydale PD. In fact, a lot of the activity at Sunnydale PD seemed to consist of putting labels on crimes and filing them.

John decided to low key his entrance. There was a redheaded teenage girl working at a laptop at the top of a short flight of stairs; a tall, thin, middle aged man in a suit; and a teenage boy and girl sitting at a table in the center of the room. In the book the boy and girl were reading, John recognized a sketch of the 'cyclops' from the cyclops killing at the ice rink. The book had to be decades old, at least; the pages yellow and stiff with age and the handwritten script didn't come from any modern publisher.

"Excuse me, you are?" the man in the suit noticed John's presence.

"Detective John McClane, I'm looking for Buffy Summers." The detective replied, flashing his badge.

"May I ask why you wish to speak to Miss Summers, detective?"

John's interest in Buffy has plainly set off the man's protective instincts and he seemed unintimidated by the authority represented by the detectives badge and affiliation with the Sunnydale PD. Perversely, this won him some points with detective McClane, mostly from the contrast with Principal Rodent. It wouldn't do to let that show, though.

"What's your name, sir?" John asked, taking his pen and notepad from his shirt pocket.

"My name is Rupert Giles, the librarian at this school. What is your interest in Miss Summers, detective?"

This Rupert Giles is plainly very protective of Miss Summers, but there was still something very off about this whole situation. Why are a librarian and a group of students investigating an attempted murder and apparently oblivious to the notion that the police might want to investigate that same crime? McClane got in Giles' face and raises his voice just a little.

"You are aware that Miss Summers was the victim of an attempted murder less than two hours ago, yes? You don't think I'm going to need to speak to Miss Summers if I'm going to find the perpetrator?"

A girl's voice interrupted the confrontation between the two men "Are you boys going to clean up the testosterone you're spraying all over the room when you're done?"

The diminutive girl who appeared from the direction of the library's office strolled casually up to the two men, but there was nothing casual about her demeanor. Two things are plain to John McClane. First, Jonathan Levinson's admonishment to take the girl seriously is very well taken; Despite her lack of stature and the apparent humor of her words, she radiates menace as she deliberately deflects John's attention from the librarian. Second, she reciprocates the librarian's protectiveness in full measure and is extremely unhappy that anyone would appear to threaten him.

Mr Giles backed off a little, removed his glasses and began to polish them. "Buffy, this is Detective McClane, He wants to speak to you regarding the shooting earlier." His voice is conciliatory, urging Buffy to dial her attitude back.

The change in Buffy's demeanor was instant and unmistakable. One moment radiating menace and a serious commitment to her mentor's safety, the next she was your basic blond ditz, one each.

Hands behind her back and looking at Detective McClane sideways like a silly teenage coquette, it's like someone flipped a switch. John resolved not to be fooled. He also realized that so long as she's masquerading as this brainless ball of fluff, he's not going to get anything intelligible out of her.

"Did you recognize your assailant, Miss Summers?" John began going through the motions. He's going to have to get the information he needs another way.
Next Chapter
StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking