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What's My Die Hard

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Summary: Detective John McClane, late of the NYPD, takes a job with the Sunnydale PD and is assigned to investigate a shooting incident at the Sunnydale High School careers day fair.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Movies > Die HardDrDamageFR1866,392310112,59112 Jan 1326 Feb 13No

Chapter One

Disclaimer: The Die Hard franchise is the property of 20th Century Fox and Buffy the Vampire Slayer is the property of Joss Whedon/Mutant Enemy. I own nothing. Literally. Nothing.

Authors Note: Story is FR18 for language and violence (this is John McClane we're talking about here).

I've had an idea for a crossover in which a disgraced cop takes employment with the SPD and tries to turn over a new leaf but couldn't think of an appropriate crossover. John McClane didn't really fit with the original idea (someone caught up in corruption and disgraced thereby), but when I did think of him, I knew it would work, particularly given his connections to LA and his drinking problem in Die Hard: With a Vengeance.

Anyway, let me know what you think.

---- What's My Die Hard ----

John sat down in the kitchen of his small apartment and opened his mail, wondering who wanted money from him today. He was surprised by the contents.

Dear Detective McClane

Thank you for your application for employment with the Sunnydale Police Department. We have reviewed your resume and are pleased to offer you a position In the Sunnydale Police Department as a detective.

The terms of our offer...


John briefly scanned the rest of the letter incredulously. "This Mayor Wilkins must be desperate for staff if they're not even asking for an interview before offering me a job."
There has to be something off in Sunnydale if they're not even checking with my current employer John thought, eyeing the half empty can of beer he planned to finish before going to work. Either they know I've got a drinking problem and don't care or they're so fucking desperate for staff they don't want to look too closely at the background of anyone they employ. What the hell?

John Reached for the phone and dialled a familiar number.

"Powell residence, Al speaking."

"Hey Al"

John could hear the habitual smile in Al's voice "John, how you doing buddy?"

"Ah, same ol' same ol'. You know how it is. How's the wife and kids, buddy?"

"We're great, John, so you're still showing up at work half lit?" He asked with a grin in his voice which was half amused, half vicious.

John sighed and slumped even further into his couch. The cop grapevine could be a hell of a thing sometimes "Don't you start in on me Al, I'm getting enough flak right here in New York. Besides, that's kinda why I'm calling"

Al's voice was more hopeful now, but still had a dash of skepticism in it . "Oh? you're looking at fixing the Holly situation? My boss still remebers the Nakatomi Plaza thing. I doubt they'd consider offering you a job even if I did put in a good word. Which I would. Not to mention... well, if I found out you were showing up at work buzzed, sure as hell the chief would if your file came across his desk."

"As it happens, I've got a job offer from someplace close to LA. Close enough to commute, but There's something off about this. I was hoping..."

Al sighed. He could see what was coming. "Let me guess, the Sunnydale Police Department?"

"Damn, so there is something off, isn't there"

"They jumped on your application like a man dying of thirst on a glass of chilled water, right?"

"That's about the size of it, buddy. So what's the deal there?"

"I don't know really. I do know that when a cop resigns from the LAPD rather than face an Internal Affairs investigation, they usually show up in Sunnydale not long after. The other thing is the crime statistics in Sunnydale are ridiculous. It's a small town and the deaths and disappearances there are like someplace in a war zone. Now that I think about it, someone with your experience here in LA and that Federal Reserve heist in New York might be exactly what Sunnydale needs. But what Sunnydale needs and what John McClane needs might not be quite the same thing John. SPD is dirty, man. Not to mention incompetent."

John scowled. This wasn't what he had hoped to hear. "Shit."

"No kidding, buddy."

"OK, thanks for the heads up, Al."

"No problem. What friends are for, man."

"OK, I'll see you soon, if I take the job, I may stop by on the way and say hi"

Al was all smiles again "You do that, we'll burn some steaks and shoot the shit. Let me know and I'll make sure I've got a day off. Bye John"

John hung up the phone and reached for his beer, stopping before it reached his mouth. He looked at it with scant favor then tossed it at the overflowing garbage bin next to the sink. His toss was on target, but served only to knock two other cans onto the floor. He watched the beer spill onto the kitchen floor then sighed.

His marriage was past saving, but maybe if he moved closer to his children, he could keep those relationships from going down the toilet right along with his marriage. SPD might be dirty, but that was OK, looking around his kitchen, he figured he should fit right in. Be damned if he was going to join them in any official corruption though. Bad enough to be a cop with a drinking problem, being corrupt was something else entirely.

His decision made, John picked up the phone, John dialed another familiar LA number.

"Hello Holly..."
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