These characters belong to Whedon and Kripke.
I know Ellen doesn’t recognize them when they show up in season 2, but in this story, she’s already met them, although Joe was away at school when they met Ellen. For sure one more chapter after this, maybe more.
“Hey boys, welcome back. You want a beer?”
“Hey Ellen, good to see you again.”
“Yeah a beer sounds great, you seen our old man?”
“Straight to the point as usual Dean, yeah I seen your old man.” She handed them each a beer, and wiped the bar in front of her.
“So when was he here?”
“About twenty minutes ago.” She smiled at them, as Dean choked on his beer.
“Yeah, just rolled into town, in that same beat up old truck. He said he’d be back, they just wanted to get cleaned up, went to get a room. Said he had quite the tale for me.”
“He drag Bobby out on a job?”
“Bobby Singer? Nah, you know that old man aint leavin his salvage yard.”
“Who’s he working with? Pastor Jim or Rufus?”
“Who the fuck is Summers?”
“Watch your language! You don’t know Buffy?”
“Buffy? He’s working with a chick, but he doesn’t answer his phone for a year?”
“Oh boy, this is gona be fun.”
A couple of the guys sitting at the bar chuckled.
“I can’t believe we’ve been driving across country workin jobs, lookin for his sorry ass, and he’s been hunting with some bimbo!”
“Dean, calm down. I’m sure he’ll have an explanation when he gets here.” Sam was aggravated too, but he was too tired of driving to worry about what his father was doing working with a girl named Buffy.
“A friendly piece of advice Dean, don’t call her a bimbo.” The men chuckled again and Ash walked up to the bar.
“Yeah, you call her that an she gona wipe the floor with you.” Ash walked up to the bar smiling.
“I wana see this.”
“Who are you?” Dean was looking the girl up and down, smiling at her like she was going to be his lunch.
“That’s my daughter Joe.” Ellen’s voice had an edge to it, and Dean looked away.
The room was quiet and pregnant with tension. Sam sipped his beer and looked away from his brother. Joe rolled her eyes and walked over to the Juke box. The first notes of Steppenwolf’s Born to be Wild started playing and the tension eased.
“Steppenwolf?” He raised an eyebrow at her.
“It’s better than Sweet Home Alabama. I swear if I hear that song one more time I’m gona break that jukebox. And don’t get any ideas about Zeppelin either.” She sauntered away and Dean exhaled loudly.
“Got a wild one there, hey Ellen?”
Ellen shot him a glare.
An unbelievably long hour and a half later John Winchester came into the Roadhouse with Buffy. He opened the door and almost immediately saw Sam and Dean.
“Boys! I’m glad you’re here, I have good news.” John was smiling as he let go of Buffy’s hand and walked up to hug them. Both Dean and Sam were in a state of shock. Sam hadn’t seen his father in years, and expected some kind of confrontation. Even Dean expected more tension, but John was all smiles.
“Dean, Sam, I’ve got some good news.” He looked behind him, and pulled Buffy forward. “First, I’ve got someone I want you to meet.” He smiled at Buffy. “This is Buffy Summers. Buffy, these are my boys, Sam and Dean.”
“It’s nice to meet you-“ Sam stuck out his hand as if to shake Buffy’s when Dean interrupted him. “Yeah, it’s nice to meet Muffy here, so where the hell have you been. We’ve been traveling around the country workin jobs, lookin for you, and you’ve been holed up with some broad. What’s going on?”
John’s smile faded, and he glared at Dean.
“Sir.” Dean added as an afterthought and swallowed.
“Oh yeah, this is it. Joe, hurry up and get up here, you’re gona miss it!” Ash yelled toward the kitchen and Joe walked out smiling.
“Come on now Ash, stop tryina cause problems. You boys gona get rowdy, I’ll ask you to take it outside.” Ellen had already seen Buffy fight. She was a good hunter but stuff always got broken, and she couldn’t afford to remodel the bar a second time this year.
“Don’t worry Ellen, I’ll go easy on him, he’s Johns boy.”
“Boy? What the hell do you mean boy? Listen cupcake, just because you’re bangin my dad doesn’t mean-“
“Dean what is the matter with you?” Sam stood up and tried to pull his brother away from his dad, but he shrugged him off.
“No, Sammy, back off. We’ve been calling him for months, not knowing if he’s been alive or dead, and now he shows up with Barbie and expects us to smile and play nice?”
“It’s Buffy.” She scowled at him.
“Whatever, Buffy, Barbie, Muffy, what’s the difference? You’re just some bimbo traveling with my dad.” He was actually really surprised to see his father with a woman. Never since their mother died had he brought one around the boys that wasn’t a hunter or a babysitter. Dean knew his father wasn’t celibate, but he still wasn’t prepared to see his father with a woman, and a hot one at that.
He didn’t see her move, but somehow Dean ended up on the ground and Buffy stood over him. She put a red stiletto heel on his chest and leaned down to look at him. She looked almost feral and unconsciously Dean moved his hands to his head. Her heel began to press into his chest. She was wearing a red dress and he could see the bottom of her legs. They weren’t as strong as they would need to be to have the kind of pressure she was putting on him, but they sure were sexy Dean noted to himself.
“I think you’re dad has something to tell you, so before I spoil his good mood by tossing his boy around, stand up, shut your mouth, and so help me god, if you make fun of my name one more time, you’re gona regret it.”
She pushed her heel in one last time for emphasis, and removed her foot from his chest. She offered her hand, and he pushed it away and stood up glaring at the girl.
“What the hell is going on?”
“Dean, we got him.”
Dean stilled, and the whole bar stopped to look at John.
“You got him? Him him, yellow eyes?”
“Yes, son, we got him.” He wrapped his arm around Buffy.
“Oh my god.” Sam sat down at the bar and ran his hands through his hair.
John took a step forward and put his hand Sam’s shoulder. “I’m sorry son. I’m sorry about your girl, but we got him. Not just exorcised but dead. He won’t be able to hurt anyone else.”
“Well that calls for a celebration! Drinks are on the house boys and girls.” The bar cheered and Ellen and Joe began to pass out bottles.
“Whah, whah what happened dad?” Sam was still in a state of shock.
“Come on, sit down at a table and we’ll tell you. It’s a long story.”
Sam followed his dad and Buffy over to the table. Dean was still glaring at Buffy from the bar.
John sighed. “Now Dean.”
Ellen came over and dragged a chair. “Hey, you’ve been huntin this thing for almost thirty years. If you think I’m gona miss out on this story, you’re mistaken.”
Buffy sat next John and took his hand.
“A couple of months ago I figured out the pattern. Before yellow eyes hits a town, there are signs. Lightning storms, cattle mutilations etc etc, so I started following him around the country, but I was always one step behind him. About a month ago I caught up with him outside of Cleveland, but he knew I was coming. He almost got me, but Buffy here came out of nowhere, and saved my life.” He smiled at her and then continued.
“But the demon got away so she took me back to her school and showed me all her research on the demon. His name was Azazel.”
“Wait school? Who the hell are you? What kind of school has books on demons?”
“It’s not so weird. My high school library was filled with demonology books, and how to guides for killing big bads and stopping the annual apocalypse. Of course that was on a hellmouth, but I bet there are lots of schools with demon language books. I mean they teach French, that’s the most evil language I ever tried to speak.”
John belly laughed and Sam gaped at him. Neither boy had seen their father actually laugh in years.
“You still didn’t answer my other questions.”
“Cut it out Dean, we’re getting there.” Dean glared back at his father. He was definitely happy the demon was dead, but he always thought he would be there, killing it with his father. Not some cute little blonde teacher.
“I am Buffy Summers, headmistress of the Tara Maclay School for girls, and the co-president of the New International Council of Watchers and-.”
“Watchers, Buffy, wait are you the Buffy Summers?” Sam sat up strait, excited he stared at Buffy waiting for a response.
“The one and only.”
“What? How do you know her Sam?”
“She’s the slayer Dean.”
“I thought that was a myth?”
“Well I am, but after all you’ve seen, you have to know myths are almost always based on reality.”
“Anyway, we found a legend about a special gun that Samuel Colt made that can kill anything, so we went after the gun, but by the time we found old yellow eyes, we didn’t have the gun yet.”
“So I told him about my scythe, and we decided to try it. I’ve used it to kill just about everything else I’ve come across. It’s killed a lot of demons in the last couple of years.”
“A scythe? Like a grim reaper scythe?”
“Not quite.” She stood up, and unfathomably reached her arm around, dug under her dress, and pulled out a large red and pink weapon from beneath her dress.
“Close your mouth Dean.” His father was glaring at him, but he burst into laughter again. “She’s pretty good at that isn’t she?”
“I think we need Whiskey.” Ellen got up and went for the bar.
“We finally got him cornered outside of Chicago. His powers didn’t really work the same on Buffy so she held him down and I cut off his head.”
“How do you know he’s dead?”
Buffy shrugged. “We don’t know for sure, but he fizzled out, like all the other demons I’ve killed with the scythe, and my friend Willow checked with her contacts and did a spell, and there is a big todo in the demon community, so we think we got him.”
“We got him. I can feel it.”
“Plus we have Johns spidey senses. Sorry I forgot to mention that.” She rolled her eyes but smiled at him.
He wrapped his huge paw hand around Buffy’s little shoulder and pulled her chair closer to his. He kissed her cheek.
“This is too weird.” Dean was staring at the couple. “You know he’s too old for you Muffy, you want to have some fun and I can pencil you in, show you a good time. Heh heh.” He waggled his eyes at her and John began to stand up. Buffy pushed him back into his chair.
“I got this John.” She smiled and stood up. She handed John the scythe, and walked over to Dean, leaning into his ear and whispered her threat. “I already warned you about my name, and if you tease me like that in front of your father again, I will pull out your intestines and wrap them around you like a mummy, got it? He kicked his chair away from her and stood up.
“She’s crazy!” He whipped out his gun and pointed it at her.
The bar went quiet. Ellen stood up and started yelling at him to put that gun away, and all do could do was stare at Buffy.
“Son, put that gun away.”
“She’s a demon dad! She’s been playin you this whole time!”
“She’s not a demon. Put the gun down, now.”
Dean only drew his eyes away from Buffy to his dad for a split second, but that’s all she needed. She had his gun away from him before he could even look back.
“These things are bad new, and I don’t fancy getting shot again, stings.” She tossed the gun to Sammy, and backed Dean into the bar. She faked to his left, and when he went right, she picked him up and carried him out of the bar like a sack of potatoes. All the hunters stood up and walked over to the windows and John, Sam, and Ellen walked out the door.
“Hundred bucks says she slays him.”
Buffy tossed him to the ground, and glared at him. “It’s funny, I am part demon and you’re not the first one to point that out. Long time ago these old guys imbued a young girl with demon power and started the slayer line. So yeah, part demon, but I am not only a slayer Dean, I’m the slayer. I’ve outlasted all other slayers, killed more demons than you could even imagine. Twelve years I’ve been killing vampires, demons and the forces of darkness, and now I found a nice guy that treats me right, a hunter so there isnt’ gona be that weird conversation where I say “guess what honey, I’m the slayer,” and the boy runs away screaming, and I’m not gona let some wimpy brat kid come between me and dad.”
“Kid? You’re no older than I am.”
“Yeah, but in slayer years I’m like ancient. My expiration date has long passed. Look, I get it, my dad went for the young blonde secretary too, but I’m not some bimbo. I love your father, and I think he loves me.” She looked back at the porch and John nodded his head.
“Come on Dean, let’s go back into the bar and we can finish the story.” She offered her hand again, and when he went to take it, she leaned down further and he splashed her with water.
“That’s it! Call me a demon, point a gun at me, and basically tell me I’m not good enough for your father, fine, but you mess up my dress, you’ve crossed the line!” She was fuming. “John, where’s my scythe? I’ve got a demon to kill.”
“Shit.” John ran down the porch. “Buffy, let’s talk about this.” She turned around and stopped him in his tracks with a glare.
Joe ambled out of the bar, scythe casually in hand, smile on her face, and she whistled at Ash. “Looks like I’m gona win Ash, you better have that cash ready.” She tossed Buffy the scythe. Buffy caught it without even looking at it, and turned to face Dean.
“Dean, so help me god, if you don’t get your ass up, and into the Roadhouse, I may accidentally maim you while I’m trying to protect all these innocent people.” She pulled him up and shoved him toward the bar, and turned back to the twenty or so vampires circling the bar. “You vampires just gona stand there while all these delicious people stand around like happy meals with legs?”
“You’ll pay for what you did to Azazel! I’m gona suck the marrow from your bones!”
“I thought you guys drank blood? Why do vampires always want to suck the marrow from my bones?” She looked at them curiously and shrugged. “At least I’m consistent. I want to dust you, plain and simple.”
“You die now!” The horde charged at her, and she became a blur of motion and dust.
“She’s like a fricken dust storm!”
“You really like this chick?”
“She’s not a chick Dean, and yeah I’m in love with her.”
“I can see why.” Buffy beheaded two vampires at once, and sent another flying toward the bar. He got up and rushed back toward the fight, and Buffy staked him. “Fine, but I’m not calling her mom.”
“She’d probably kill you if you did.”
It took a few minutes, and Ash and Joe ran into the fray to help Buffy, but it was over almost as soon as it started.
Buffy ambled up to the bar stretching her arms and smiling. “God that felt good. I’m hungry John, let’s get Joe to make us some of those onion blossoms she’s mastered.”
“I could go for a burger.” He dusted off her dress and she scowled.
“Order me one too, and don’t forget the cheddar and extra fries too. I’m going to wash up.” She kissed him again and glided into the bar. Even covered in dust and sweet she still managed to look graceful.
“What a woman.” Dean watched her go and John started laughing again.