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Ship of the Line, Up up and away.

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Summary: The Scooby gang finds themselves the victim of a divine prank but hey they get a semi shiny star-ship out of it...

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > Multiple PairingsMistofRainbowsFR151055,890815566,8135 Feb 133 Apr 13Yes

Chapter Ten

Disclaimer: I don’t own Supernatural or the various characters in it…

Faith smiled as she picked Thor’s hammer up off the floor. “Oh yeah.”

Sam Winchester stared at the nicely muscled girl that appeared out of thin air, “Careful with that…”

Faith smiled as she hefted the hammer, “I hear you have a demon infestation.”


Faith smiled, “Good… let’s go fix the problem.”


Crowley stared as a girl radiating power walked in. He could tell that the power wasn’t just coming from Thor’s hammer either. “I can’t see this ending well…”

Faith tossed Thor’s hammer faster than a speeding bullet straight at his chest.

Dean stared in shock as the hammer crackled with thunder and disintegrated Crowley in a blast of lightning. “What the hell just happened?”

Faith smiled, “I got ten points, upstart fucking demon.”

Kevin stared at Faith, “Dude… that was the king of hell.”

“Was yeah… oh hey you‘re the prophet right?” She held up her hand and the hammer reappeared in her hand. “Wicked, return service.”

Kevin gulped, “What of it…”

“Prophets of the lord are worth five points…”

Samandiriel takes his gaze off the dead Crowley and looks Faith, he could practically feel her distain and the use of the lowercase l in God’s name. “You can’t just kill a prophet of the Lord.”

Faith shrugged, “Actually I could… I could kill you as well but you’re only worth four points… nothing to get upset over…”

Dean finally took his eyes off Crowley’s ashes, “He’s dead…”

Faith snorted, “Yeah, being hit by a goddess does that…”

Sam asked, “So… now what?”

“Now you get the damn tablet translated and you seal the gates of heaven and hell.”

Samandiriel scowled, “That’s not what that tablet does…”

Faith shrugged, “It deals with sealing the gates of hell it shouldn’t be too hard to seal the gates of heaven…” She stopped what she was going to say as a portal opened, “Looks like my ride is here.”

Sam blinked, “Thanks.”

Faith smiled at Sam, “At least someone has manners.”

Dean watched the girl step through the portal and vanish, “Dude…”

Sam turned to look at Dean as soon as the portal closed, “What?”

“She was checking you out…”

Sam shook his head, “She had a point… we should get the tablet translated.”

Kevin shook his head, “Who was that?”

Samandiriel sighed, “A goddess.”

“Like Pluto?”

“No… she had the same flavor as the Norse… but I didn’t recognize her…”

Kevin sighed, “Can we get out of here?”

Dean nodded, “That sounds good…”


Xander stared at Faith’s new hammer, “Now I’m jealous.”

Faith giggled as she spun the hammer around once. She could feel the power in the hammer calling to her to use it and destroy demons. “It’s great. Not even a mark on it from when I destroyed the demon.”

He nodded, “So now what?”

Willow sighed, “Now we go back and deal with our own realm…”

Xander blinked, “What?”

“Loki gave me a mission card, we’re going home…”

“What’s the trick?”

Loki snickered as he appeared, “I’m hurt, where is the faith?” He waved as he looked over at where Faith was standing on the beach playing with her new hammer, “Ah, there she is. You’re done for now at least, Janus is dead… you’re welcome to return everyone that wants to return… I’ve got one last job for you if you want it…”

Xander raised an eyebrow, “If we want it?”

“Sure, you did more than enough to wipe the slate clean… but I think you’ll want to take this last job…”

Xander frowned, “From the way you say that… I’m guessing it’s bad.”

Loki nodded, “Yeah… end of the world bad… well end of multiple worlds bad actually… if things are allowed to go according to plan.”

“Just spit it out…”

“In another world… Willow brings Buffy back from the dead… screwing with the balance of the world… this allows…”

Willow gasped, “The First…”

He sings merrily, “Bingo… ding dong everyone is dead…”

Xander looked at Willow in concern, “I thought you said that wasn’t a concern for our world anymore…”

“It’s not for our world… but that’s not to say that it doesn’t happen that way elsewhere…”

Loki nodded, “On one of the worlds Buffy wasn’t called… it was some other girl… Let’s just say that things didn’t work out as well for them as they did in other timelines.”

Xander frowned, “How bad are we talking?”

“Plague of vampires… overrunning the world bad… the First gets a body bad…”

Faith scowled, “So evil won?”

Loki sighed, “The powers that be stupid glazed the world before that happened…”

Xander stared at Loki in shock, “They what?”

“Wiped out four billion people trying to stop evil from winning…”

Willow gulped as she was reminded of her other self’s attempt to do just that, “That’s insane…”

“Not to mention stupid… they actually let evil win… the First had some minions in reserve… it teleported ten vampires in while the powers that be stupid were weak…”

Willow winced, “And when its forces outnumber humanity it shall be made flesh…”

Faith scowled, “That sucks…”

Xander stared at Loki, “How did you get involved in this mess?”

Loki sighed, “I had some followers in that world… I liked that world… I mean sure it wasn’t as nice as some worlds but… it was fun.”

Xander frowned, “So the First is a threat to you?”

Loki shook his head, “I’m a god, to borrow a phrase, it’s a piece of pond scum that matters less than moonlight on my flesh, or something like that. I’m not overly concerned with the First even in corporeal form… but that doesn’t mean I want the damn thing spreading. I’m not so arrogant as to believe that it could never be a problem.”

Faith glanced down at her Hammer. “I’m guessing everything we’ve done… since you came to our world was for this?”

Loki smiled, “Guilty as charged…”

Faith sighed, “I can’t speak for everyone when I say we’ll do this but I don’t want to let the bitch win.”

Loki grinned, “Excellent. I‘ll be back later with the details when you’re ready. Feel free to send people wherever they want, including back to Sunnydale.” He vanished with a snap of his fingers.

Willow sighed, “Yeah… seems weird that our crazy adventure is over…”

Faith chuckled, “Nah, we’ll have plenty more crazy adventures maybe not with Loki…”

Xander sighed, “Unless everyone dies…”

Willow sighed, “There is that.”

“Let’s just get everyone sent home that wants to go home then we can figure out what we want to do about that other world.”


On another Earth in another reality in another time… the defenders of humanity were gathered in one of the last structures still standing. It wasn’t a place of significance or anything… or at least it hadn’t been until last night when a wall of flames that filled the sky swept through the valley and destroyed everything down to bare dirt. Or at least everything that wasn’t being protected by some of the most powerful spell casters the world had ever known. The house had just happened to be the first house they found that had been abandoned when they got to the next town in their attempt to flee from the hellmouth. Jesse glanced over at Wesley and asked sarcastically. “Now what mister in charge person?”

Wesley sighed, “I don’t know… I don’t have phone service here… none of the spells I know for answers are working… this whole valley is torched… perhaps the whole world is dead…” He started babbling uncontrollably until Andrew leveled his black eyed gaze on him.

Andrew’s black eyes bored into the man. “Get a grip or I’ll rip your flesh off and feed it to you.”

Amy looked up at Andrew, “Now, now if anyone gets to kill the watcher it’s Willow. He cost her her pet.”

Wesley gulped as a black silk panty clad Willow stepped into the room, “Ah…”

“She was a very fun pet… Taria gave her to me.”

Jesse sighed as he rubbed his face, “We’ve been through this… vampires don’t make good pets… even chained ones… besides Illyria is… a bit like Hagrid when it comes to pets…”

Willow grinned at Jesse, “I know, that’s what makes her so much fun… well that and the sex.”

Amy sighed, “Yes… would it kill you to use a silence spell…”

Willow glanced from Amy to Jesse, “I will if you will.”

Andrew glared at Willow then looked away from meeting her eyes as she returned his glare with a smirk. He shuddered as he recalled the last time that he had challenged her. It hadn’t gone well for him.

Illyria stepped out of the next room, “There is nothing wrong with making your mate scream.”

Willow grinned as she pulled Illyria into her lap, “Jesse had a good point. We need more of a plan than just getting out of Sunnydale. We could rip every vampire there apart but we can’t do it fast enough… As much as I would like to rip through the First’s vampires night after night we need a better plan.” She knew that the First had vampires running around other cities mass turning people. Even if they stayed on the hellmouth and killed all of the vampires there they would lose.

Wesley muttered, “It’s a pity that your army was destroyed.”

Illyria glared at him, “I will pay the Wolf Ram and Hart back for my army after I crush the First.”

Willow reached around and ran her hand over Illyria’s armored stomach. “Taria you’re sliding…”

Illryia sighed then her flesh twisted and she shifted back into her Tara form, “Sorry, her/my army is a sore subject.”

Jesse nodded, “We need to find out what is going on with everything…”

Whistler smiled coldly as he showed up in a flash of magic, “Ah if it isn’t the ‘good’ guys…”

Jesse glared at Whistler, “We did what we had to do, the slayer was needed…”

He snorted, “Another was called. Faith was just one more slayer in a long line of dead bitches… nothing to cry over… certainly nothing to break the slayer line over.” He glared at Andrew as he had been the one to pull Faith out of the ground.

Andrew glared right back, “Things would have been fine if you had just done your jobs… you cut off our seer… no one saw the First coming… then the fire.”

“That’s actually the bosses upstairs fixing your mistake…”

Amy glared, “What did they do?”

“Burned the world to ash to stop the spread of the vampires. A bit drastic I know… but this is your fault.”

Jesse’s eyes narrowed, “Bullshit.”

Whistler snorted, “If you hadn’t messed with things then the powers wouldn’t have had to get involved… rein of hellfire and all of that.”

Willow glared at Whistler, she didn’t want to believe it but she had felt the world’s screams that morning. “You burned the world? You were supposed to be the good guys…”

“Nah, we’re just here to keep things in check to make sure the cycle continues… you were going to let evil win you see…”

Illyria glared at Whistler from her seat in Willow‘s lap, “You should run.”

Whistler snorted and gestured at Illyria. He used magic to pick her up and fling her through the wall. “I’m backed by the powers, you’ve got nothing in your current form.”

Willow smiled coldly, “You shouldn’t have done that.”

Whistler laughed, “I’ve got immortality. There isn’t a damn thing she can…” He coughed up blood. He suddenly realized that his heart wasn’t in his chest where it was supposed to be. “What…?”

Willow watched the ex-balance demon slump to the ground as she looked down at his glowing bloody heart she had teleported out of his chest. “You should have worried about me.”

Wesley felt bile rise in his throat as Willow ate the bloody demon heart.

Illyria glared at Whistler as she stalked back into the room, “That was annoying… she glared at Willow, “You’re lucky I love you… you stole my kill.”

Willow looked at Illyria, “He was very tasty. You want some Taria?”

Illyria shook her head, “No…” She muttered, “It wouldn’t help.”

Amy looked at Willow’s snack half nauseated and half turned on. “Ah… so now that everyone is against us… what do we do?”

Jesse frowned, “I for one want some damn payback… on the First on the Powers… on just about everything… the last seven years…” He glanced at Amy who had her hand on his leg, “Okay… some things were good… the rest rather painful… Xander…”

Willow finished eating the heart and took a moment to enjoy the flow of power she got from it. “I still miss him…”

Illyria reclaimed her spot on Willow’s lap now that she was done with her meal, “I miss Giles and Faith…”

Amy nodded, “Kendra…”

Jesse nodded, “Yeah…”

Willow smiled at Wesley, “I actually know this great ritual where we can call for help…”

Wesley nodded, “Let’s try that then.”

“Requires a human heart…”

“Let’s not try that then…”

Illyria chuckled, “It’s April first you idiot.”

Jesse snorted as a look of relief appeared over Wesley‘s face, “Relax we’re not that far gone… the ritual requires a sacrifice… I’m pretty sure a balance demon’s corpse will be a sufficient offering to get some help.”

Amy smiled, “I’ll start working on the chalk circle if you want to dig out the ritual.”

Jesse nodded, “Of course.”

Wesley was just glad that he had been too shocked to piss his pants or anything. He, not for the first time, cursed the watcher’s council for sending him to deal with the hellmouth.


Jesse looked at Loki, “Why should we trust you?”

“They torched most of my followers on this world… they torched my house… I’m a bit upset at the powers that be stupid right now…” It was a small summer cabin but it was his damn it.

Jesse frowned, “How are you even here if they killed all of your followers?”

Loki smiled as he pointed to Willow, “She and Xander invoked me to deal with his parents on his eleventh birthday.”

Willow smiled as she remembered doing a ritual she found in her elementary school library for summoning the Norse god of mischief. “That explains why his father’s beer for the next week was shaken so much they exploded into foam every time he opened it.”

Jesse raised an eyebrow, “That’s rather thin…”

Loki shrugged, “I know… but I like her, what can I say?”

Illyria hugged Willow, “Mine.”

He rolled his eyes, “Don’t worry I have my own Willow…”

Jesse raised an eyebrow, “Really?”

“Not that I would say that to her face… she has a bit of a temper. Look, I‘m offering you some revenge and a way off the world… I suggest you take it.”

Jesse frowned, “What’s the price?”

“Think of it as back payment for entertainment value…” He stopped as a loud shout came from outside in Faith’s voice. “I know you’re in there heroes come out so I can gloat before I kill you!” He sighed, “Yeah… deal or no deal… I’ve got rules I have to follow… do you want help or not?”

Andrew nodded, “Yes.”

Loki smiled as the rest of the people nodded, “In that case I’ll be right back. See if you can stall her.” He snapped his fingers and vanished.

Willow smiled, “I think we should go say hell and goodbye to the First.”

Wesley gulped, “You’re trusting Loki?”

Willow shrugged, “I don’t see how we’ve got any options…”

Illyria grinned, “Let’s go hurt the bitch.”


The First laughed at the battered heroes as she threw Andrew through a wall. “Your parlor tricks don’t work on me warlock.” She gestured and sent Illyria spinning through the night crashing through building after building. “You didn’t think this through did you?”

Willow summoned a ball of plasma and tossed it at the First while Amy tossed orb after orb of darkness at the First while Jesse worked on holding a shield up against the First’s assault.

The First laughed as she deflected the blast, “Neat trick but you’ve got nothing… There is no one powerful enough to fight me.”

Willow laughed, “In the words of a friend of mine… I’d like to test that theory.”

The First spun around in surprise as another Willow and a bunch of people that should be dead stood in the courtyard glaring at her. Xander Harris had died seven years ago, a nothing no one that was barely worth a speck of attention, Giles was a minor talent, Spike was a vampire but he had been dusted years ago. There was another Tara and Willow… that might be problematic… the fact that Faith was back from the dead was a problem but not a large one now that she was flesh. She didn’t recognize the other young lady either but she pushed that to the back of her awareness as she focused on Faith. “You’re dead… I watched you die, twice.”

Willow sent a thought to her slightly naughty looking counterpart and Dawn. ‘See if you can hold her still for a second.’ She summoned up her power and wrapped it around the First’s limbs to keep her in place. She felt her counterpart do the same as she poured her magic into the effort. Dawn reached out with her telekinesis and held the First in place.

Faith raised her hammer and threw it with all her might at the First.

Jesse watched in shock as the First exploded in a storm of lightning. “Holy hell…”

The First looked down at the bloody chunks that had been her corporeal form, “Well that sucks.”

Loki smiled as he stepped out of the shadows, “It gets worse.” He gestured and wrapped the First’s incorporeal flesh with chains of energy. “I’m going to enjoy killing you.”

“You can’t. I’m evil, I’m the darkness in the hearts of men… as long as there is evil I shall live. You don‘t have the power to destroy me.”

Loki laughed, “You’re wrong.” His whisper carried to her ears in a language long forgotten even by Giles or the rest save Illyria but she wasn’t around to hear him, “I’ve got billions of fanatical followers, there might be things that can kill me… but you’re not one of them. Can’t say the reverse is true…” He reached out with his magic and ripped the First apart.

Faith watched the First die screaming. She smiled at Loki, “You rock.”

Jesse smiled as he finally realized who Xander was, “Holly hell, Xander?”

Xander smiled, “Hey Jesse… not a vampire in this world then?”

“Nope.” Jesse didn’t even care that he looked like a goof or that this wasn’t his world’s Xander as he ran over and hugged his best friend he hadn‘t seen in almost seven years.

Tara stared at her counterpart, “You’re blue.”

Illyria tilted her head, “You’re not.”

Tara shook her head, “Not so much…”

Amy stared at the group with awe… “Wow…”

Willow looked over at Loki, “You’re right, I’m glad I came.”

Loki chuckled, “If you need me, call. I’m going to go annoy Thor a bit and kick back and relax for a couple of years. I‘ll see you when you get back to Sunnydale.”

The Willow from the burned out Earth looked over at her counterpart, “So now what?”

“Now we head back to our Sunnydale and make sure that this doesn’t happen there…” Willow leered at her counterpart, “You’re welcome to stay with us.”

Dawn snickered, “You make that sound so dirty.”

Xander grinned, “This calls for a feast.”

Wesley gulped, “Does this mean we won?”

Amy chuckled darkly, “Pyrrhic victory… but sure we can count this as a win.”

Dawn smiled at the burned world’s Willow, “I like your outfit.”

Willow smiled at her, “You’re cute.”

Xander took a step back once Jesse let him go, “Your Willow is a bit…”

“Broken? Off her rocker? Just a bit. Losing you unbalanced her a bit… then losing her boyfriend… falling in love with Tara then losing her to a bullet… then…”

Xander frowned, “Ah… isn’t that Tara?”

Jesse shrugged, “That’s Illyria… or Taria… she’s both Tara and Illyria… think demon god that possesses people…”

Xander frowned, “When did that happen?”

Jesse sighed, “When the god of the dead wouldn’t bring Tara back Willow snapped more than a little. She used magic to keep Tara’s body from rotting and went looking for a way to bring her back… She used Illyria to bring her back then stuffed Tara’s soul back into the body… it melded them together…”

“That’s crazy…”

Jesse shrugged, “Yeah… my world was a bit crazy…”

Xander frowned, “How come Andrew is rocking the black eyes?”

“Pulled Faith out of the grave… he’s never quite been the same since… didn’t have enough magic and went dark side to do it… his eyes never changed back…”

Xander raised an eyebrow, “And the pathetic guy that looks like a watcher without a backbone?”

“Crappy council watcher… I see your Giles survived…”

Xander nodded, “Yeah… I‘m guessing that we‘re going to have some stories to tell.”

“Are you dating any of the cute girls?”

Xander smirked, “A couple of them… plus Cordelia… but she stayed behind in case we needed a second line of defense on this project.”

“Now I know the universe hates me…”

Xander laughed, “She’s grown up a lot…”

“I’ll take your word for it.”


Everyone was glad to get away from the destruction. It took the survivors a few weeks of relaxing on the beach in Willow’s world to unwind but eventually they were ready to head back to Sunnydale.

Buffy frowned, “How come I haven’t found any vampires in three days…?” They spent two weeks curb stomping vampires before the supply of vampires had suddenly just vanished. While she suspected that they had went to ground she hadn’t been able to find a whiff of vampires for three days. It had been strange coming back and finding out that only three hours had passed since they had left even though it should have been far longer, she blamed Loki for that. Then again considering everything she had gotten out of the whole experience she was fine with him having his fun. She hadn’t expected Dawn to start snickering so she asked again, “What happened to the vampires?”

Dawn grinned, “Think of it like an early Christmas present.”

“What did you do?”

“Xander and I captured a vampire then figured out a way to scan for them… then we transported them all into space for the sun to fry.”

“Wait… are you telling me that there are no vampires in Sunnydale?”

“Actually… there aren’t any vampires on Earth anymore.”

Buffy stared at her sister in shock, “How?”

“We had the ship circle the world a couple of times… we’re planning to start scanning problematic demons next… so much easier this way…”

Buffy’s eyes widened as she realized that she hadn’t seen Angel creeping around for three days either. She had been avoiding him on the grounds that she was sleeping with other people and she didn’t really feel like explaining the whole twisted mess that was her life. “Angel?”

Dawn gulped, “Oops.” She bolted for the door.

Xander winced as Buffy shouted Dawn’s name. She was pretty sure that they might have heard her planet side. Everyone lived on the ship as no one really wanted to stay in a town they were starting to not care about. It was strange but most of the civilians when offered the chance to go back to Sunnydale had decided to relocate to other worlds. Half the people that went back to their original world had decided to quickly pack their stuff and leave town. The other half had formed into a defense force and started to patrol to protect the town from demons. He was pretty happy as that meant that there wasn’t a burning need for him to stick around. It hadn’t taken very long for them to put seven years of both group’s knowledge of the future to use tying up lose ends. The mayor was transported out of his car on the way home. He died shortly after from a lack of oxygen then burned up on reentry. Xander bent the rules for using the transporter responsibly when he transported Snyder into a jail cell. Sadly they let him out the next morning thinking that he had just been tossed in because he was a drunk. “I’m a little sad that transporting Snyder to jail didn’t cause him more problems.”

“Ah well… in the grand scheme of things… he’s really just a nothing.”

Xander glanced toward the block of carbonite that contained a certain vampire. Once Willow tracked down a regenerating demon he would turn Angel back into a human then test the super soldier formula on Angel that they were reverse engineering from blood samples from Natasha and Captain America and what Faith could remember of the Jager formula. While it was more than he deserved… he was a bit worried that Angel would try to make some idiot deal to get his powers back if they just turned him human. Well that and the mixture might kill him or mutate him horribly if he was lucky. Still they wanted vampires gone from the world. While he knew that Wolfram and Hart had vampires off world that they could bring in, they could leave some automated defensives that would take care of any new vampires that showed up. “True… there are worse people around.”

Jesse smiled, “I’m impressed by how many hot girls you’ve managed to keep around…”

Xander smiled, “I’m impressed by how flexible your Willow is…”

Jesse chuckled, “I’m just surprised they didn’t kill us for walking in on them together… it’s nice to see her happy again…”


“So now what?”

“Now we wait for some of our people to finish up some projects and we roam the galaxy looking for interesting things…”

Jesse grinned, “Ship of the line and all that eh?”

Xander smirked, “Someone has to defend Earth. Besides, Willow knows how to get in touch and we‘re just a portal away no matter where we go.”

Jesse smiled, “It’s good to have you back man…”

“Like wise… just don’t cry again…”

“Bastard… my whole world burned and I got you back and Willow is doing better… I can cry if I want to.”

Xander laughed, “True.”

“Not that I did…”

“Of course not.” Xander smirked.

This was a fun ride. I had fun playing with the various characters. I hope everyone had fun. Sometimes you have to go home to realize that you don't have to... I'll leave the crew's future adventures up to the imagination of the readers. If the formula worked on Angel... or if it did horrible things to him... if they find aliens or not... or well you get the picture... happy trails and happy stories.
The End.

The End

You have reached the end of "Ship of the Line, Up up and away.". This story is complete.

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