A New Agent
Buffy was annoyed. Scratch that she was two inches from finding out what extra powers she might have besides shapeshifting just by calling up power till something she could hit this asshole with happened. It wasn't Agent Coulson she was mad at, even if he was the overall cause, it wasn't the yummy archer, and it definetly wasn't the drop dead gorgeous Russian bombshell of an agent they'd decided would train her after she decided to go along with S.H.I.E.L.D ; when they suggested she become an agent, it was of all things, a bureaucrat who had the god sorely tempted to reduce him into a memory over... of all things, her name.
The ignorant prick seemed to think he could tell her what she called herself since she'd become an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. Someone had to have forced Fury and Coulson to give this moron a job because no one who called her "Miss Dottir." could possibly be intelligent enough to get hired anywhere he didn't have pull.
Odin save her from assholes, and she wasn't sure when she'd decided to use Asgard swears... seemed appropriate though, he was not only mangling her name he couldn't even say the mangled part right. That was it, "My name is Buffy Brunnhildedóttir. Not Miss Dottir, not," she took a moment to read the ID she'd been handed. " Ingrid Brundottir. By the Allfather, you didn't even spell the fake name you gave me right! Are you even more stupid than you appear, and let me assure you that is quite impossible, or are you just that utterly incompetent at your job!? Don't answer that! Just get out!"
The bureaucrat fled the angry god, it was the first intelligent move he made all day. As he fled down a corridor Agent Coulson entered the room with a wry smirk, "Thank you for that, his uncle is on the board so I can't say things like that to him. I doubt his uncle will say anything about the god his nephew angered. Here's the real ID by the way, Director Fury thought it best to assign a second, more competent, agent to the task. I believe you'll recognize their calling card, top right corner, most would need a magnifying glass to see it but I wager..."
Buffy grinned acknowledgement of his point and both a your welcome for the ass chewing and a thank you for the ID. She was once more Buffy Summers, they'd created her from scratch. Identical to her own story, sans Dawn and various Sunnydale related things. She just hoped she'd be better at secret-identity-girl this time, it would suck to kill Buffy Summers again, even if the happy girl on her drivers license was even faker now than she was before. Shaking her head out of her distraction she examined the area Coulson had indicated and grinned again, a small spider with a red hourglass adorned every plastic bit of ID she had as well as her passport. "Natalia made these? I thought she only ever made her own anymore."
Coulson smirked, the warrior god across from him was the only one the widow allowed to use her real name and it had little to do with said god's impossibly sharp sword. "It seems she made an exception for you. I hear she backstopped you all the way to creating a SSN for you. Now why would she break an oath she made as a junior agent without even being asked by you?"
Buffy just grinned. She knew that for Coulson half the fun of a non-national-security secret was figuring it out. She certainly wasn't about to tell him, neither would Natalia, the Russian was enjoying things way too much to stop her fun now. Besides she rather doubted he'd believe they were simply fast but absurdly loyal friends having bonded over the suck that was their early life. Didn't hurt that Buffy was the only person Natalia knew that she couldn't sneak up on. The redhead was determined to pull it off. Buffy didn't have the heart to tell her that no amount of practice could beat godhood enhanced slayer-senses. "That's it then?"
Coulson nodded, "Welcome to S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent Summers."
One Month Later, Budapest
"Damnit Clint!! You just had to insult their boss and hit on his wife at the same time," Natasha snapped as they traded fire with the insurgents they were supposed to have infiltrated. That is before Clint had called their perspective 'employer' a dumbass and his wife the hottest thing he'd seen since he hit country.
"He was a dick, besides, they were about to make us anyway," Clint retorted drawing an eyebrow from his partner. "Ask Summers. I heard someone mention a blonde looking for her redheaded friend, who matched your description, and seeing as we said we were here alone I assumed that he would put two and two together so I went for broke."
Natasha sighed as she popped up to fire a couple shots, she couldn't say she was surprised that the god had come looking for her. She'd promised girl's night and was dragged out of her apartment before Buffy had showed up to get her with no chance to tell her Asgardian friend what was going on. As she was debating how best to chew out whatever bastard had decided to interrupt her day off, and therefore the reason Buffy had turned up in Budapest, said god found them.
It was almost worth being shot at to see the look on a terrorist's face when he opened fire with a fully automatic AK at point blank range only to find his target not only still standing and completely unharmed but very pissed off, albeit with an utterly ruined silk blouse and tight black pants. Natasha couldn't see it herself but she knew the look on the warrior god's face had to be one of complete annoyance, possibly anger. When Buffy started talking she had her answer, annoyance, "I was going to just kick your ass, but that was my favorite blouse."
With that Buffy's fist crashed into his skull while Clint and Natasha stepped out from their cover to get better shots off. No bullets got anywhere near them as the Asgardian danced through the enemy ranks, occasionally lashing out with a captured enemy weapon but primarily with her firsts and feet disabling and crippling as she went but leaving almost no dead in her wake. When the last hit the ground there were actually more alive than dead, possibly a better outcome than an infiltration would have had in terms of potential information.
Natasha called in extraction for the three agents and twenty odd moaning and groaning prisoners while Buffy and Clint removed weapons from the groaning mass. Job done they backed away, Buffy avoiding Clint's curious stares as she shifted her clothes back to perfect condition proving her comment before engaging had just been the god being her usual smarmy self. "What she does and how is classified so high only Director Fury and Agent Coulson have the full story." Natasha cut off Clint's thoughts. The talented archer gave a reluctant nod of acceptance and returned his attention to the prisoners.
Not too long they were sitting in a S.H.I.E.L.D. Quinjet sans crew other than the three S.H.I.E.L.D. agents. Buffy gave a nod to Natasha who flipped a switch turning off every listening device on the plane including the black box. Clint shot her a curious look but it was Buffy who answered it, "Do you remember your recent job in New Mexico Clint?"
"Yea... why? I know you were the blonde faux-agent that squared off with Coulson but I thought you were just a shapeshifting mutant like that mystique woman." The sharpshooter admitted, curious but knowing that saying the wrong thing in their line of work was good for a one way ticket to Antarctica to spy on the local penguin population.
Buffy smirked and her power flowed over her body shifting her into a perfect copy of the male agent before speaking in his voice, "While one of my talents," she shifted into Fury and continued as if nothing had changed, "is indeed shapeshifting. It is a minor talent and I am no mutant."
Clint nodded slowly, "Firstly, that's pretty creepy. Even with the weird stuff I've dealt with. Secondly, what are you then?"
One last shift had Buffy feeling downright at ease in her first stage armor which increased her from bullet-proof to medium yield explosive proof, "To answer your question... I'm a god, Buffy Brunnhildedóttir of Asgard at your service." It was fortunate that Natalia had set the auto-pilot while Buffy was talking because the Asgardian wasn't sure Clint was really paying attention and Buffy was way too amused to even try flying the plane.
"You're a god?" Clint asked rhetoricaly, though Buffy nodded anyway, "There is an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.who is a god." Another nod, "Right then."
Buffy laughed the rest of the way back to base.