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Trouble is My Middle Name

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This story is No. 3 in the series "Inspired By". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: Buffy isn't the only new girl to Sunnydale High. A certain girl-detective arrives on the same day.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Television > Veronica MarskissrocksFR1854,3640214,26612 Feb 138 May 13No

Chapter 4 in Which I Drop Some Eaves

“Hey Will,” I heard Xander say,” Can we go to the library real quick and get that book?”

“Sorry, Xander. I have a test this period. I can’t be late,” Willow said sounding sincerely apologetic.

I thought about following Buffy and doing a little sleuthing but Xander interrupted my thoughts.

“How about you, V? Can I call you V? I have to get a book so that Willow can smarten me up later. And that place seriously gives me the creeps,” Xander babbled.

“Uh, yeah. Sure,” I agreed still distracted by Buffy’s weird behavior. “It’s not so bad.”

As I walked Xander to the library, I caught a vague glimpse of my dad reaming Principal Flutie.

Give him Hell, Dad. I thought as I hurried past in case Dad decided to yank me from school today. Well, Flutie did have a dead body on his school grounds.

As we walked into the library I noticed that Mr. Giles must have been in his office again. That was okay. I’d followed him around when he had been searching for my books earlier.

I showed Xander to the section in the stacks that had the Text Books. Making sure to be quiet (we were, after all, in a library) I helped him look for Theories in Trig.

Just when I was about to give up the search as a lost cause and go looking for Mr. Giles, I heard him exit his office. He was walking toward the stacks where we were when someone else burst through the library doors.

“Ok. What’s the sitch?” I heard.

“Sorry?” Mr. Giles asks.

“You heard about the dead guy, right? The dead guy in the locker?”

“That’s Buffy,” Xander whispered. I nodded affirming that I knew that and quietly shushed him, the better to eavesdrop.

I thought I heard the librarian say ‘yes’ while Xander was identifying Buffy.

“Cause it’s the weirdest thing. He’s got two little, little holes in his neck and all his blood’s been drained,” Buffy said sounding majorly peeved. I couldn’t help but wonder if she was blaming the librarian. Especially when she followed with a very sarcastic “Isn’t that bizarre? Aren’t you just going, ‘ooooh’?

“I was afraid of this,” Mr. Giles responded. At this point, Xander and I exchanged a look that belonged somewhere in the ‘what the heck is going on here’ family.

“Well, I wasn’t. It’s my first day! I was afraid I was going to be behind in all my classes, that I wouldn’t make any friends, that I would have last month’s hair. I didn’t think there would be vampires on campus. And I don’t care,” Buffy retorted.

‘Vampires’? Xander mouthed at me clearly not sure that he had heard correctly. I just shrugged in response and motioned that we should keep listening.

“Then, why are you here?” Mr. Giles replied to Buffy’s outburst.

“To.. tell you that… I don’t care, which…I don’t, and…have now told you, so…bye.” It sounded like Buffy was leaving but the librarian’s next words stopped her.

“Is he, w-will he... rise again?” Giles asked sounding sincerely concerned.

“Who?” was Buffy’s response.

“The boy,” Giles replied, ever-patient it seemed.

“No. He's just dead.”

Xander was looking at me with increasing curiosity and I could just see the mental finger spinning next to his head as he looked like he thought both parties we were listening to were increasingly nuts.

“Can you be sure?” the librarian asked as I felt the first hint that this eavesdropping thing might have been a bad idea just this once. I really needed to pee and it sounded like Buffy and Mr. Giles were far from finished.

“To make you a vampire they have to suck your blood. And then you have to suck their blood. It's like a whole big sucking thing. Mostly they're just gonna kill you. Why am I still talking to you?” Buffy answered.

Good to know, I thought and I wondered suddenly when I had started believing in vampires.


“You really have no idea what's going on, do you? You think it's coincidence, your being here? That boy was just the beginning.” Giles patience seemed to be getting close to an end.

“Oh, why can't you people just leave me alone?” Buffy was exasperated.

“Because you are the Slayer. Into each generation a Slayer is born, one girl in all the world, a Chosen One, one born with the strength and skill to hunt—“

“With the strength and skill to hunt the vampires, to stop the spread of their evil blah, blah, blah... I've heard it, okay?” Buffy interrupted.

“I really don't understand this attitude. You, you've accepted your duty, you, you've slain vampires before...” Spoken like a true teacher. A stuttering one at that.

“Yeah, and I've both been there and done that, and I'm moving on.”

“What do you know about this town?” It sounded like the librarian was moving around in his office now. And I hopelessly wondered if it might be safe to sneak out. As interesting as this conversation was, it was getting difficult to concentrate with my ever-shrinking bladder.

“It's two hours on the freeway from Neiman Marcus?”

“Dig a bit in the history of this place. You'll find a, a steady stream of fairly odd occurrences. Now, I believe this whole area is a center of mystical energy,) that things gravitate towards it that, that, that you might not find elsewhere,” Mr. Giles stumbled as he became more enthusiastic about the subject.

“Like vampires.”

“Like zombies, werewolves, incubi, succubi, everything you've ever dreaded was under your bed, but told yourself couldn't be by the light of day. They're all real!” I decided I was back to thinking Mr. Giles was a little on the cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs side as he rattled off this list. And it sounded like he was stacking books that I assumed were about each subject he listed. My belief was soon confirmed.

“What? You, like, sent away for the Time-Life series?”

“Ah, w-w-w-yes.”

“Did you get the free phone?” Buffy asked.

“Um, the calendar.”

“Cool. But, okay, first of all, I'm a Vampire Slayer. And secondly, I'm retired. Hey, I know! Why don't you kill 'em?”

“I-I'm a Watcher, I-I haven't the skill...”

“Oh, come on, stake through the heart, a little sunlight... It's like falling off a log.”

“A, a Slayer slays, a Watcher—“

“Watches?”

“Yes. No! He, he trains her, he, he, he prepares her—“

“Prepares me for what? For getting kicked out of school? For losing all of my friends? For having to spend all of my time fighting for my life and never getting to tell anyone because I might endanger them? Go ahead! Prepare me.”

And I thought I had problems. That’s perspective for ya, always there to knock you on your ass.

I heard a very distinct sigh of regret before the sound of the door swinging open and shut again.

“Damn.” Mr. Giles muttered quietly before leaving the library as well.

Xander and I stepped out from behind the bookshelf.

“What?!?” was all Xander could seem to muster as comment.

“That was definitely weird,” I agreed before making a mad dash for the door.

“Hey! Where are you going?” Xander asked surprised by my sudden urgency.

“Where no man has gone before, at least not without getting detention.” I replied as I exited the room.

I suppose he understood my meaning because I heard him call to me from inside the library.

“Don’t forget to check the stalls for vampires!”

The End?

You have reached the end of "Trouble is My Middle Name" – so far. This story is incomplete and the last chapter was posted on 8 May 13.

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