Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer is owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy Productions, 20th Century Fox Television and others.
Stargate SG-1 is owned by MGM Television, Double Secret Productions and Gekko Film Corp.
Farscape is owned by The Jim Henson Company.Note
: This Chapter will not as funny as the rest, I’ll get back there, there are just a few threads that needs to be tied up, before the slapstick can commence.
“Please open a channel, Dawn,” Xander asked.
*It’s already open, has been since... you know.*
Xander winced. That meant that the Goa’uld As had heard his truthful, but unflattering statement earlier.
“As. Is that really your name?” Xander asked.
[I am the god As, you will bow before me, or you will be destroyed.] came the firm demand from the Goa’uld.
“Ok, so you are pretentious and stupid then. Thanks for settling that.” Xander replied. He turned to Jack, who was still standing next to him. “Are they all like that?”
“We haven’t really met that many of them, but he’s pretty much par for the course.” Jack replied.
Xander nodded, and turned towards the screen, even if As couldn’t see them. “As, I’m pretty sure your instruments, or whatever you have over there is telling you that you are short about half a ship by now. Do you really think this is a fight you can win?”
Xander frowned, looked briefly at Jack, who only responded by shrugging.
“As, do respond, or we’ll have no option but to shoot again. This time it won’t be a warning shot.” Xander demanded, more firmly this time.
“Dawn, you can fire whenever you like.”
*Thanks.* came the almost happy reply from the ship, before another blinding flash of light streaked towards the remains of the ship, floating in space before them.
Xander just stared in shock, as did the SG-1 team and everybody else who had started to fill into the small bridge.
“You missed?”, Xander muttered, then louder, “How on Earth could you miss?”
He didn’t have time to launch into a tirade, as a fireball blossomed, far away from the wreck, He received a distinct smug feeling over his link.
“So, you didn’t miss? What did you hit?”
*I have no idea, all I know was that something the size of a shuttle left the wreck just before As went silent. It was hard to track, light bending around it, as if it was cloaked.* she explained. *But to quote Star Trek, ‘All ships must have an exhaust pipe’.*
Xander was now positively beaming with pride. “Not bad, Dawn. Not bad at all.”
“Careful, Xander,” came Buffy’s reply from the rear of the bridge. “You don’t need to stroke her ego that much.”
Xander turned around and looked at Buffy. “She did well, for once. I doubt that it’ll hurt. Besides, talking about ego’s, when did you have time to get your hair extended and dyed?”
Buffy looked at him, confused. Then she grabbed a strand of the hair, and looked at it, before running back towards the medical, yelling.
“Nice way of getting rid of her, kid.” Jack exclaimed. He still didn’t like her much, she always had that damned frying pan in her hands, evoking bad memories.
“I didn’t try to, her hair is getting longer, and blonder, if that last bit was even possible.”
“Another delayed Halloween thing?” Jack asked.
“We have to talk to Giles about that. First though, we need Daniel to talk to this ship, in case the ones left over there don’t speak English, then to talk to the cosmonauts on board Mir.”
“Can’t I do that?” Jack asked. “You know, with the translator microbes?”
“No, they only work one-way. We need someone who speaks Russian, natively.”
“As agitated as they are, we did damage the station severely, by accident, but that doesn’t change the fact that it is our fault,” Xander started to explain. “I just want to make sure they aren’t in any danger, and have what they need to restore some normalcy.”
“Fair enough point, I guess.”
*Xander, Hammond is still on hold.* Dawn interrupted.
“Can you patch it through to a different control station?”
*Sure, use the one in the rear of the bridge.*
“Thanks,” Xander replied. “Ok, please listen. We’ll get around to talk to you all shortly. But this is the bridge, and it is a little too crowded, so if I can get all of you to head back to the main areas, except for SG-1, Joyce and perhaps Buffy, if someone can find her.”
He turned to Jack, and pointed to the station in question, “You can talk to Hammond on that one, please fill him in as best as you can. You know almost as much as we do by now.”
“Thanks,” Jack replied, before picking up what appeared to be a headset, and started talking.
“Joyce and Daniel,” Xander looked at them both. “Please start talking to the wreck over there, we really need to make sure we know what kind of help they need, or if they are even contemplating receiving it.”
They both nodded in return, and Xander turned to Carter and Teal’c. “I guess you would be best suited to help Daniel talk to that ship.”
Teal’c nodded, and walked over to Daniel.
“And Carter, you are the tech wiz, if I understand it right?”
“Once Jack is done talking to Hammond, maybe see if you can get them to asses what, if any, emergency supplies they need, not only on the Ha’tak, but also on Mir.”
Carter nodded, but before stepping over to Jack, she asked, “What about you?”
“They don’t ever show that on the series, but this ship actually do have a refresher, and I really need to use it. Now, if you’ll please excuse me for a moment,” he answered, before moving past Carter, and ran down the corridor.
“Refresher?” Carter muttered.
*He meant a toilet.* Dawn replied, startling Carter.
Xander returned to the bridge, and took interest in the dialogue on the view screen. Apparently Samantha had managed to activate the camera for the two way video link. The Jaffa on the screen was every bit as defiant as his now dead master.
He stayed in the background, letting Daniel and Teal’c handle the negotiations. Looking over his shoulder at the other half of the SG-1 team, there were no doubt that Jack and Sam were still talking to their superiors back home. Tempted as he was at listening in, he decided that they’d be better off being left alone, for now.
A red flashing panel drew his attention to the console he was standing at.
*Dawn,* he thought over the link.
*I see them. What do you want me to do?*
*They do seem to be flying in a formation, heading this way, don’t they?*
*Even the big one is, I wonder why they didn’t come out before?*
*You did blow up most of their ship, maybe they needed the time to open their doors*
*I said I was sorry...* Dawn replied.
*Don’t worry about it. But I think you might want to start swatting the flies.*
Meanwhile Xander moved forward, into view of the camera, and all but growled. “Are you gonna bark all day, little doggie?”
Moments later, when he was sure he had everyone's attention, “Or are you gonna bite?”
“Dawn, fire away.”
*Thanks.* Dawn replied promptly, and started to move.
The Jaffa on the screen took a step back in panic, finally realizing that in this fight, he was definitely not the Alpha.