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Ship of the Line: Ascendant Justice

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Summary: What happens when Xander dresses up as the Master Chief in command of the Ascendant Justice and Ethan Rayne sends costumes of the Scooby Gang to SG-1 for his "special" Halloween?

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Stargate > Xander-Centered > Theme: Halloween Memories
Games > Sci-Fi > Halo
GenukaFR151423,1512022183,07816 Mar 1322 Jul 13No

Cryogenic Dish

A/n: What dish did Shakespear remind us is best served cold? *Mwahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!* In honor of Doctor Who's return tonight!!!

Cryogenic Dish

The Prank War. A time honored tradition among students to express the joy of living or redress a wrong from which they have no other safe recourse to receive justice. A tradition steeped in the mystery of teenhood which sometimes carries through to adulthood, occasionally with a better refinement and flair.

They started out slow, stealthy even. They replaced his morning jam and toast with dyed marshmallow puff goo and jalapeƱo bread, both liberally sprinkled with paprika. The milk in the fridge was dyed green and chunks of cheese that had been dyed blue added to create a mold effect. The chocolate was all reclaimed for kid kind and stashed in their bags for later, except for one which was carefully opened so as not to damage the packaging, promptly devoured and the mint condition wrapping carefully attached to a bar of chocolate flavored ex-lax. Buffy tried setting it up so that instead of the traditional bucket of water drenching Snyder when he opened his bedroom door he would instead find himself slammed into by a 5 lbs. bag of literal sand. Jon stopped Buffy when he realized her intent and instead directed her to pour it into the toilet and make a sand based volcanic island rise from the depths of the commode. He even found a little flag to plant at the top of the miniature mountain of sand which presided over the miniature sea basin. Then they plastic wrapped the seat cover to their creation to prevent its destruction when Snyder inevitably needed the restroom.

15 of the miniature bottles of purple food dye also found their way into the water pipes, to ensure that Snyder would meet the day with a "colorful" attitude. Vaseline was rubbed over all of the mirrors in the house as well as the mirrors on his car. Buffy made good use of the unlimited texting on her phone plan and sent off text messages to as many of the student body as she could manage warning them of Snyder's foul mood in the morning but also asking them to bow in his presence due to his "royal flush". Buffy was quite happy to use a kitchen knife to disembowel the sofa cushions and pillows so that they could "feather" the kitchen and lace the hallway from bedroom to kitchen with a "feather" carpet. They even went so far as to put itching powder in the dryer sheets. The absolute last thing that they did was super-glue his toupee's to their stands so that when Snyder went to pick one of them up he'd be picking the stand with it. Before leaving the house one last time they swept the house once again and made sure all of their pranks, and Cortana's cameras, were in place to catch all of the action. They would make an absolute mint off of the recordings when they sold them at school as "tutoring aids"!

As the children worked hard on setting up the pranks to redress the social damage done among the school populace, Cortana worked equally hard to redress the damage that Snyder had done to their records and more practical situations. Sending out high priority e-mails to the heads of the school board pointing out none-to-gently that Snyder wanted the only real security that the campus had from the more unusual goings on gone, attaching the computerized copies of all of the blackmail files that Snyder was hording as well as any accompanying notes, threats, rants, or intimidation techniques he might have on file. Including his repeated notations and plans to frame the Scoobies for murder, theft, fraud, and anything else he could think of, as well as the necessary data to frame anyone who remotely stood up for them as their accomplices to also face serious consequences and charges.

Tomorrow would NOT be a good day for Herr Snyder!

A/n: Questions? Comments? Thoughts?

For those wondering this prank set will be triggered next chapter so yes you get to see it actually play out. I was just to tired to write it last night running on stress, no sleep for nearly 48 hours, the remnants of an energy drink, and very little food for that day because I forgot to eat. I know I know. Bad author.
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