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What Every Starship Captain Needs--Or Maybe Not.

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Summary: Some snippets and possibilities on where the Trio could have ended up in 'What Every Starship Captain Needs'. Updated as ideas come to me.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > General > Theme: HalloweenReallyBoredFR1823,223143,34417 Mar 1331 Jul 13No

A Fair To Remember

Disclaimer: Again, I swear, I OWN NOTHING HERE! Joss Whedon and his bunch own everything related to Buffy The Vampire Slayer. Star Trek is the creation of the late Gene Roddenberry, and is owned by Paramount Studios. I OWN NOTHING!


Meh, just a snippet, an idea or two, that floated along for What Every Starship Captain Needs. Nothing permanent, or too big . . .Remember, they're all just possibilities.





Some snippets and possibilities on where the Trio could have ended up in What Every Starship Captain Needs.





A Fair To Remember



The Trio go to a county fair somewhere in the Midwest.


It had to happen someday.

Earl Hickey watched the large, pudgy man with the permanent five O' Clock shadow on his face, and bright, open button eyes, aim a large flashlight up into the sky, and start flicking it off and on. That was truly unusual enough, but what really drew Earl's attention, and caused him some unease, was the aluminum foil hat on the man's head.

"Randy . . .What are you doing?"

"Oh, hey, Earl!" Randy Hickey greeted his older brother, never taking his eyes off the sky, or his thumb on the flashlight's switch. "I'm signaling *flick* those *flick* Star Trek people *flick* like Joy told me I should do."

Earl sighed. Joy again. Was it him, or did that woman seem to be getting meaner? Honestly, if he could, he would have avoided Joy altogether, and had Randy do the same. Except, Camden County was one of those places that was between the size of a postage stamp and a shoe box, and avoiding someone in Camden meant not going anyplace fun or interesting--Or like the Crab Shack, cheap. Oh, well . . .At least there was a silver lining--Randy's mind was still on the sane side of things.

*flick* *flick* *flick* *flick* *flick* *flick*

Okay, maybe not dead spot on, but close enough to count.

"Er, Randy?"


"Yes, Earl?"


"You can stop doing that now . . .The Star Trek people got the message, and get really annoyed if you keep repeating things."

"You sure, Earl?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure." Earl lied. He watched his brother trustingly lower the flashlight. "Hey, Randy . . .Is this about those kids, the ones you said were Star Trek characters?"

Randy's face lit up, and a happy grin followed. "Oh, yeah, Earl. I saw them just before they beamed up to their ship. Sulu, and McCoy, and Scotty. They're real celebrities and I wanted their autographs. They're the good guys, so I don't think they'll mind at all if I ask them for it."

"Ah, ha." Earl thoughtfully scratched his chin. "Let me get this straight, the trio you're referring to includes a blond teenage girl--"


"And a red head teenage girl--"


"And a tall, dark, teenage boy, you think could be Italian?"

"Yeah, Earl . . .And that’s Sulu."

"Yeah . . .Hey, listen, Randy. Those guys are busy celebrities, so don't be surprise if it takes them a while to answer back. Okay?"

Randy frowned. He slowly gave a nodded, and looked down briefly, in disappointment. Then he caught the look on Earl's face. The type of look his brother had when thinking of something on The List.

"What are you thinking, Earl?"

Earl rubbed his chin again. "I'm think about a hundred and six on the list--Convinced an Alien Chaser to give me all his stuff to prevent an alien invasion." Earl sighed and reached into his back jeans' pocket for The List. Once again, Karma was giving him one of those backward/front hints.

It was time to get back to work.




"Wow, Xander. I've got to admit I'm impressed and surprised. So far, Camden County seems to be beating LA for the biggest collection of non-mutant loonies and weirdoes per square mile!" Buffy declared, a moment later, taking a bit out of her cotton candy. She paused and considered, thoughtfully. "At least I think they're non-mutants . . .?"

"And without a Hellmouth in sight, they're nicer too." Willow happily said, taking a bite out of her own cotton candy.

"Not to mention they know how to cook!" Said Xander, taking another eager bite out of his deep fried Twinkie on a stick.

The Trio sat in the ship's mess room, reciting the day's sightseeing and events. The table they were sitting at covered and piled high with happily unhealthy Fairway food.

"Too bad about that blond witch!" Willow complained with a low moan. "She almost ruined our day!"

Buffy snorted in derision. "Being reminded of her nearly robs me of my appetite--Almost. Ugh! Like if cutting in front of the line wasn't bad enough--She had to go and give that lame excuse of being Ms. Camden County, and having the right to cut in front of any line in the fair because of it! Right, with those ten deformed piggy toes, and that amateurish pedicure? With those cheap, open toe wedges? Please! A real Ms. Anything would have chopped off her own feet at the ankles, rather then have anyone see those feet!" Buffy shuddered in memory. She soften--"Well, her husband was okay." Buffy said, with a single shoulder shrug. She brightened. "He knew a LOT about cheese!"

"Her ex husband was also okay." Xander added. He shrugged. "He did have the strangest idea about Karma though. Hey, whatever floats his boat, right?"

Buffy snorted. "His brother, Randy, though? That guy was just plain strange! Say, I just thought of something--Do you think Randy saw us beam out?"

Xander frowned thoughtfully, chewing. He swallowed and said, "Maybe. Not that it matter, really. As Buffy pointed out, the guy IS strange--No one is going to believe him."

"I feel a little bad for him, though." Buffy confessed.

"So says the girl who insisted on buzzing several farmers!" Xander waved the bare stick around, before dumping it in a growing pile, while picking up his next deep fried Twinkie.

"Hey!" Buffy cried out indignantly. "It's traditional with them! UFOs buzz farmers all the time! They even probe them! They should be grateful all we did was the buzzing!"

"Ew! Buffy!" Willow admonished her friend, her face twisted in disgust.

"Sorry, Willow." Buffy apologized. "But you're right, Xan--No one is going to believe him." And she took a big, giggling bite of her cotton candy.




" . . .So, you see, it was all a huge prank! There were no aliens!" Earl shouted through the closed door of a nice two-story house his Number 106 was holed up in.

"But Randy said he saw them Beam out!"

Earl sighed and hung his head. It looked like he was going to be at it for a while.





Disclaimer: My Name Is Earl is the creation of Greg Garcia. I OWN NOTHING!


It's five AM where I am. I did stupid by not going to bed when I should have. But, this little snippet came to me, and while I'm not certain it's coherent, I do know that if I had slept on it, I never would have written it down.

I plan to drop whatever little bits and pieces, for the story What Every Starship Captain Needs, that come to me, here.

Good bye, and thank you!
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