Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot well alright not so much the plot as this particular mutilation of it. If for some reason you want to re-post this work then please let me know. BtVS and Star Wars remain the property of their owners quotes from BtVS are used under the fair use clause without permission.
WARNING: unbetaed all errors are the sole property of the author.
Summary: YAHF a Sith Lord finds himself in a strange new world and he isn't the only one. while seeking answers he meets a blonde warrior woman with a sword. Sith in Sunnydale
I stepped into the costume store 'Ethan's' it was a new place but I'd overheard people at school talking about it, apparently it had great costumes really cheap. Which was perfect as he didn't have much money to spend. Looking around there were a couple of people picking through a clothes rail but nobody I new and no sign of order in the design of the shop. My two best friends had cancelled they're plans to meet me here at the last minute. I tried to pretend that their rejection didn't sting, but it did. Okay so maybe I had overreacted a little but I'd just felt so humiliated in front of everyone at school.
With a sigh I steeled myself and marched into the shop this was going to be my night, I planned to get a special costume I'd heard Andrew telling Warren about earlier in the week and then he'd show everyone that he was no loser. Since it was Halloween today I could hopefully get a discount as well. It took me more than 10 minutes just to find the right display, and really who laid out a shop like this, did the owner have no logic? A small smile appeared as I pictured Spock's reaction to the shops layout, I know I'm a geek but tonight I'll be a legend.
The costume wasn't on display like Andrew had said a quick rummage presented a problem aside from a few admittedly cool accessories my chosen costume, the salvation of my reputation, wasn't here. Another look confirmed it but it didn't make sense this was the Sci-Fi aisle how could it not be here? Getting desperate and increasingly worried I'd have to admit defeat to my friends I tried to come up with an alternative. It would never be as good as an authentic reproduction Darth Vader costume but if it was gone there's nothing I could do. Head hanging and shoulders slumped he gave up I should have known a guy like me could never have had such an amazing costume.
"Excuse me, might I be of some service" a cultured voice asked from behind me
"Gaahh" Okay I admit my reply lacked eloquence but he shouldn't have snuck up on me.
"I do apologise It wasn't my intention to frighten you, but you seemed downhearted and I hoped that I could rectify that. It's Halloween after all"
"Right err sure it's just I heard you had an awesome Darth Vader costume on display and I was hoping I could convince you to give me a discount since tonight's Halloween"
"Ah yes that was a marvellous piece made by the same people who created the original you know."
"Really? Wow that's incredible"
"Yes well I do have some friends in Hollywood, I sold it to a fellow from the university two days ago" He frowned slightly "come to think of it he was supposed to come back yesterday with the rest of the money. Oh well his loss is your gain I suppose"
"You did want it didn't you?"
"Yes" I almost screamed in excitement before reality intruded "but I don't have much money how much is it? Will it fit me, I'm not exactly tall"
A moment passed as he studied me apparently making some judgement "It'll fit and as to the price, I think we can make a deal. If you were to promote my store, tell everyone of the excellent quality and service available here, then I could let the full costume with accessories go for $20. How does that sound"
"Fantastic, really. Done and thank you" I couldn't keep the grin off my face, I had no idea what was to come. Not that it would've changed anything of course. The wait for him to retrieve the costume from the back and collect up the accessories was the longest of my life. even though it was only about 10 minutes it was worse than waiting all summer for part 2 of 'Best of both worlds' when I was a kid. Finally I had it and I had to fight not to skip in geeky delight. Tonight was going to be great.
If I'd been excited in the shop then now I was actually wearing it I was truly elated. It had everything you'd expect including working lights and noises that were just like the films, a voice distorter, a collection of background of the character most of which I knew but with extra details about his wife Padme and the death of his mother even a detailed description of his cybernetics. There were numerous other props in the bag a lightsaber a datapad and a communicator although Vader had one built into his armour so I guess the shop guy didn't realise it was unnecessary. There was even a little model of the executor and a holocron. I could honestly say I'd never been this happy in my whole life.
I'd gotten some looks walking the streets dressed up most were admiring only a few sneers but they couldn't bring me down tonight, nothing could. I was untouchable. "The world that denies thee, thou inhabit. The peace that ignores thee, thou corrupt. Chaos, I remain, as ever,... thy faithful, degenerate son!"
Darth Vader staggered he had no idea how he had come to be here or even where here was but when he found the one responsible he would show them the folly of interfering in the affairs of Sith Lords. He looked about he saw nothing familiar just screaming sentients and chaos, although no one appeared to be fleeing from him only around him. He seemed to be on some unknown rural and most likely primitive world, he tentatively identified a residential area to his right and what were perhaps warehouses to his left. about His suit scanners could not provide any useful information and his force senses were clouded and confused. A snarl and a beast the size of a jawa leapt at him a flick of his wrist and his lightsaber responded by flying to his hand and bisecting the creature vertically. The others kept there distance now, they feared him, good that at least was familiar.
"This is Lord Vader to any Imperial forces within range of this transmission, Respond" He would soon get to the bottom of this
"Sir, this is Stormtrooper TK-2710 reporting, it's good to hear your voice sir"
"What is your location and status trooper?"
"Location unknown, area appears industrial a sign ID's the building opposite as the 'Bronze' most likely a local dive sir, Troopers TK-2711 through 13 are present."
"I have your position I shall join you presently" As he terminated the communication he received a simple automated message from the droid systems on board the Executor reporting in and requesting instruction. Vader did not know whether he was more surprised his ship hadn't collided with the Death Star or that his crew had gone missing. After a moments thought he ordered a Lambda shuttle under droid control be sent to the nearest suitable landing site. After receiving an acknowledgement he set out to rendezvous with his troops.
Darth Vader had moved barely 100 meters towards the Stormtroopers location when another of the small beasts plaguing this world charged by him in a panic carrying it's right arm in its left. A cry of defiance and the snarls of further beasts attracted Vader's attention, turning down the alley to investigate he saw a young human woman surrounded by almost a dozen creatures two of which were much larger possibly adult forms he reasoned. The woman was dressed simply in spun cloth and her dress had been split down one leg to let her fight, and fighting she was. She held a sword of simply metal as far as he could see, his suit scanners detected no power source it was entirely primitive. Yet she was holding her own striking to wound one before spinning to parry the attack of another.
She was fairly skilled and fought with a passion that Vader admired. Her long blonde hair flying freely about as she dodged, kicked and countered, but it couldn't last. She was too outnumbered and for everyone she drove of another arrived. Vader moved to assist, throwing his saber and taking the heads of the two adult sized creatures, who then crumbled to dust in front of a bemused sith who was learning the wisdom in never questioning the absurdity of the Force. Turning to face the rest of the creatures he found all but four had been slain or fled, the one in the middle lunged at the human's leg tearing the skin and drawing blood before being impaled by her sword. The other two seeing her distress leapt for her throat.
Even as her sword started to come free from remains at her feet she knew it would be too late, she was going to die here. Never knowing what sorcery had brought her from her home to this place nor why. She thought this land must be the dark realm to the east but then, these were no Orcs and who was the dark figure with the strange sword that had aided her. So many questions she really didn't want to leave unanswered but at least she would die in battle not cosseted behind stone walls. Just as the Not-Orcs, as she was thinking of them, would have reached her they stopped. A feat made extraordinary buy the fact they were in midair unsupported. Taking just a moment to adapt she stepped back looking behind her she saw the warrior in black holding out his arm not to steady her but apparently using some power to hold the Not-Orcs. with a gesture she heard the creatures necks snap and a soft thump as they fell to the ground.
"Who are you" she asked with a mix of awe and trepidation, after all just because he saved her didn't mean he wasn't also a threat.
"I am Lord Vader, you fought well" he offered her a bacta patch from one of his belt pouches. She looked at it uncomprehendingly. "For your leg" Vader added
"Thank you my Lord, you are most kind but I do not recognise this medicine" the last word said questioningly "I do not know how it is applied"
Sensing no deceit and only mildly surprised he removed the covering and showed her how it was used. As she raised her skirt up to her thigh so as to see what she was doing she noticed he didn't turn away as any sort of courtly behaviour would demand, Not that she minded the fact, on the contrary she'd long wanted to be considered a warrior but this armoured man was strange indeed and made her feel a touch uncomfortable. reaching for something to break the silence she realised she had not introduced herself to her rescuer. "I am Éowyn, Shieldmaiden of Rohan and niece of Théoden King. I thank you for your timely aid"
Vader remained silent for a moment as he considered that nobles and royals especially were almost always useless and annoying to him, with one exception of course. She had been magnificent. He slammed shut that mental door before the grief and rage that fuelled his power could overwhelm him. Then as Éowyn straightened up he spoke "You will tell me of your world and these creatures, such attacks cannot be common?"
Startled by his commanding tone as much as his question she replied instantly "I know nothing of these creatures I have not encountered them before today when I appeared here, I assume this is not your land either?"
"No, it is not." Vader was frustrated he'd hoped that this warrior women would provide him with information but she was as lost as he was. He had wasted enough time he would get his answers from the ship, turning to leave he was surprised to sense Éowyn moving to join him.
"If you have no objection I believe we should stay together, both for our protection and to discover who or what has transported us here, and why"
"And if I do object?" Vader replied using his size and mask to add intimidation to the otherwise benign words.
"Then I will still believe we should stay together, but will trouble you no further" Éowyn replied without a hint of being intimidated detectable in her voice.
Vader reflected briefly on her usefulness before deciding "Very well you may accompany me"
"Excellent" She grinned instantly looking years younger than the serious shieldmaiden of moments before. "may I ask what is our destination?"
"We will rendezvous with some of my Stormtroopers that have been transported here, from there we shall proceed to my ship to consider our next action"
"I was unaware you were a ships captain Lord Vader" Her eyes flicked over the street ahead looking for potential threats "I have a great many questions" Vaders lightsaber slashed at a monster that had strayed too close, killing it. "but perhaps they would be best kept until a later time"
"A wise decision" was the only response as they pressed on. She did not know how Vader knew where to go, if he was truly a stranger here or what kind of magic sword he used, though she was sure it was not Elvish nor Darvish nor even what the lights were on his chest though she suspected it had something to do with his heavy breathing. Still he was right focus on the present dangers and worry about the rest later.
They proceeded with little difficulty and less conversation until they reached the only four Stormtroopers on the planet. Éowyn was surprised to see their brilliant white armour considering the entirely black armour of her companion but of course Saruman had shown the folly of judging by appearance.
As they joined the troopers Vader ordered a report, while noticing more than a dozen dead beings lying dead in the street. They were of various species none of which he recognised save for two humans. TK-2710 snapped off a salute and reported that they had been attacked several times with no fatalities, though TK-2712 had minor burns from a creature with acid blood they had driven off. Turning to indicate the two humans he continued "This one was obviously a rebel my lord, he attacked and was killed immediately. This one came to our assistance against that thing, sir" gesturing from a human in what appeared to be some sort of evening wear holding a slug-thrower, to a green-skinned ugly humanoid that elicited a gasp from Éowyn as she stepped forward and announced it was called an Orc. "He was killed by the acid blood creatures tail sir" Vader did not need to hear any more, this world was dangerous, his resources were extremely limited and he had no idea what in the force was going on "With me Sergeant"
With a gesture from their squad leader the remaining troopers fell in behind Vader and Éowyn. When they came upon the shuttles landing site to see it waiting for them with no further incidents there was a sense of relief from everyone but Éowyn who was at her limit for mysteries. "What is
that and where is your ship. I have given you my trust but I demand to know what is going on!"
From the now lowered ramp Vader turned to look at Éowyn startled by her audacity and a little amused, though it wouldn't do to show it "You are here because I
saved your life, do not forget that" With that he strode up the ramp disappearing within, the Stormtroopers quickly boarded the craft behind him.
Hesitating for only a second Éowyn rushed in after them, moving passed Stormtroopers sitting in, what appeared to her to be a strange sort of waiting room with two rows of chairs to the sides of the walkway. Seeing Lord Vaders cape moving through the door behind her she didn't pause to examine this strange place, instead turning around to another much smaller room with six chairs all facing away from her and out the window that dominated this small space. Lord Vader was sitting in the front left seat seemingly adjusting the Not-a-table in front of him.
Éowyn knew she was not stupid, but she didn't have a clue what was going on and hadn't since she arrived here. Combining that with this so called lord's casual dismissal of her moments ago and she was ready to do something rather unladylike involving Vader and her sword. Just as she opened her mouth to express her displeasure she caught movement in the corner of her eye, a strange squat metal cylinder with a spinning dome top. It started to make a strange whistling noise, and really she'd have to stop calling everything strange as it was becoming redundant. She froze as the thing seemed to be looking at her, only to be pulled back to reality as Vader instructed her to sit down. Éowyn had complied before she realised what was said still keeping a distrustful eye on the strange, no the peculiar thing she corrected. Her attention was forced away however when she realised the ground was moving she could see from the view outside that they were rising up into the air. This was like no magic she had ever heard of, and frankly she doubted it was magic at all. What else it could be she didn't know but Vader seemed calm so she resolved to continue trusting him as the world shrunk away below. By the time the shuttle had risen above the light haze of Sunnydale and into the perfect star speckled black of space Éowyn was already adjusting and marveling at the view.
Darth Vader meanwhile was scowling at his displays. While piloting always made him feel lighter and freer than he had ever truly been, the shuttle's navicomp was obstinately refusing to not only identify their position relative to Coruscant but also any of the visible star patterns. Vader did not know how his ship had survived but as the Executor came into view still some distance away he was glad for the familiar sight. Docking was swift and efficient but still strange without the com chatter from the flight officer on duty directing him. The other source of silence was his companion in the cockpit she had been gazing out the window with a look of awed wonder for several minutes and her jaw hadn't closed in just as long. He wasn't sure what to make of her but any information source should be utilized. The quiet voice of his much younger self telling him that he liked her was completely ignored with practiced ease.
Vader had to grasp her shoulder before Éowyn realised they had arrived and followed him back out. Éowyn was staring at everything around her, she had recovered from the overwhelming experiences of the night so far, but new experiences and places should be treasured fully even if she no longer thirsted to prove herself as once she did.
"Shieldmaiden Éowyn you will accompany this trooper to the medical bay, 2-1B will examine you both for any clue as to how we were brought here" Vader commanded before Turning and striding towards the door "The rest of you, with me."
Unsure if she should protest or not Éowyn went along with the trooper noticing it was the one with the injured hand. Lacking any other distractions and hoping a friendly overture would be returned in kind, Éowyn asked how he had come to be wounded having missed the sergeants earlier report to Vader.
"An unknown, chitinous lifeform dropped from above, killing the local friendly, it evaded most return fire but did lose its tail." The trooper responded almost mechanically. "as it fled some of it blood impacted my hand, the armour began to bubble and some penetrated before I could remove it"
Not knowing how to respond Éowyn let the conversation drop and focused on not feeling intimidated by this alien environment. When they entered the Medical bay, which in another attempted conversation she had learnt was similar to a house of healing. Éowyn was surprised to see the trooper begin stripping off his armour without thought for modesty, almost more than she was to discover he was a normal human underneath.
Realising she had been staring for too long and being a little flustered at the sight she quickly decided to follow suit lest she seem out of place besides this warrior. Her dress was destroyed by the rigors of the night already but as she had nothing else she was careful to preserve it as best she could. Placing it across the bed opposite the troopers armour she realised a problem she had been dressed for court and her underwear was substantially more elaborate than the simple shorts of the trooper. Seeing his raised eyebrows she blushed a little while trying hard to pretend she hadn't noticed his gaze. Her corset was a decorative black and gold affair with a repeating horse head pattern and her knickers were the same colours though thankfully plain.
Her embarrassment faded quickly as a figure moved towards her and the trooper, some kind of shambling metal man. She took a step back to where she had left her dress and sword but before she could do anything the Stormtrooper had interposed himself. He introduced Éowyn and 2-1B and then volunteered to be examined first, while Éowyn watched. She calmed as she saw the troopers wound diminish rapidly under the 'Medical droids' care. This was truly a strange adventure she decided but one she would rise to meet with valour and dignity. Or at least as much as possible while standing in a castle in the sky in my underwear she mused.
Vader while still fully clothed was not having a much better time. The stars were wrong the ship was wrong and according to the scanners the world below was wrong. Frankly if he hadn't already gone dark this would have sent him there. calming himself he began breaking down the problems until they were something he could handle just like fixing a ship or building a pod. The planet was apparently not under attack nor was it plauged by Jawa sized beasts, according to all intercepted transmissions it was mostly quiet. So he reasoned perhaps the beasts had arrived the same way he had, reasonable with the added benefit of disposable test subject should any be required to reverse what brought them here.
Next the ship was fully stocked which it had never been in its entire four year career, further it had an excessive number of droids assigned and its hangars contained an old bulk freighter modified for undercover work, three mining ships, one refinery ship
assorted picket ships and two micro World Devastators! The Devastators should not even exist yet, they had been designed but Vader had heard nothing of their construction. Of course his master frequently kept information back and since the Executor was destroyed it shouldn't exist at all. He could not solve this mystery but he could accept it and move on he sensed no danger from the ship so he would accept it for now.
Finally the stars were wrong this was the simplest and most damning problem. Even the dark side could not compel the stars to reorder themselves like this, according to the main computer even the passage of more than one hundred thousand years wouldn't explain it. Which left him in his usual bridge position, staring out at an alien sky, over an alien world, far, far away from Tatooine, Coruscant and every other world he's ever known.
He orders the launching of probe droids to the nearest stars and others to scout this system fully. He will need to gather supplies and a crew though he holds little hope for that amongst these barley space capable primitives. Deciding he has done all he can Darth Vader heads to his quarters to meditate and perhaps find answers in the force. Before he even gets to his door the force screams a warning before everything goes dark.
He wakes up on the floor, his suit reports it's undamaged thankfully. As he climbs to his feet it occurs to him that the suit shouldn't be displaying messages as it's only a costume. His breathing tries to speed up from fear but the machinery throughout his body forces it back to a steady flow. calling upon a Jedi calming trick he settled himself, until he realises what he had just done. He had to get back to the bridge and evaluate the situation, wait what was he going to do on the bridge of a star destroyer. "Oh my god, I'm on a Star Destroyer!" in a voice that couldn't decide between panic and awe was followed by a wave of irritation of course he was on a Star Destroyer where else would he be.
Marching into the turbolift he began his return to the bridge while trying to organise his mind. The more that the dark haired teenagers mind rebelled at being on a Super Star Destroyer or that he had cybernetic implants, the more the thought patterns of Darth Vader took hold. After all the part of his mind that was still Vader could cope with what was happening far better than a geeky Sunnydale High sophomore. Neither mind really noticed the process as bits and pieces were overwritten or blended together. As this new man stepped onto the bridge he only knew three things for sure. One, he was at least a foot taller than before which was fantastic as far as he was concerned. Two, Nothing in his life was going to be the same as before tonight and he was fine with that too. Three, He was going to have to come up with a better name than Darth Levinson.
Authors note 1: Well that was it. Please let me know what you liked and how I could improve it. It started as a throw away idea after looking through the Halloween section of TtH and reading the Ship of the Line challenge by Zaion also at TtH.
The beginning may seem clumsy as I was trying to hide that was Jonathan rather than Xander buying the costume. That was the genesis of this fic, Xander always gets to star in YAHFs so I wanted Jonathan to get a go and surprise people as well. Let me know if you think the opening 1st person POV should be changed to match the rest.