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The Most Dangerous Alien You'll Ever Meet

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This story is No. 6 in the series "The Child of Balime". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: Gwen meets Seo, for the first time, on her 99th birthday. But the annual Buffy Birthday Calamity might well be genetic, as Gwen finds herself trapped in the Hub with the most dangerous alien she'll ever meet. And is terrified.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Dr. Who/Torchwood > Buffy-CenteredShoshiFR757,9241143,16926 Apr 1330 Apr 13Yes

Chapter One

Author's Note: I hold no rights over any copyrighted material. The Torchwood and Buffy the Vampire Slayer characters all belong to their original owners.

I don't usually do this, but... you're probably going to need to know the synopsis of the first episode of Torchwood to understand this story.

So here it is!

In Torchwood, Gwen Cooper, a police officer with the Cardiff Police, witnesses Jack's Torchwood team using the resurrection glove to resurrect a murder victim. Gwen, curious, follows them and winds up at the Hub. Jack retcons her, but she winds up being led back to the outside of the Hub by Suzie Costello.

Turns out, Suzie has been killing people all across Cardiff with the "life knife", so she practice resurrecting people using the gauntlet.

Suzie thinks Gwen's going to remember, and turn Suzie in for murder. So she prepares to shoot Gwen and flee the country. Jack intervenes, but Suzie shoots him, first. When Jack pops back to life, Suzie realizes it's over. Jack asks her to give him the gun.

Instead, Suzie shoots herself in the head.

Gwen, meantime, becomes recruited to be the latest member of Torchwood Cardiff.

So that's a basic plot summary. And, with that, we've finally caught up to the start of the Torchwood series!

Enjoy chapter one of the newest story!

"We need to bring her in," said Jack. "If only to check her over. After what happened with Suzie."

Gwen stepped up to the computer area, where the rest of the team was working. "Bring… who in?" she asked.

"Seo," said Jack, as he took off to make the call.

Gwen turned to Owen, shooting him a look that demanded an explanation. Owen just sat back in his chair, hands behind his head.

"Ready to see the most dangerous alien you'll ever meet?" he asked her.

Torchwood then launched itself into 'preparation mode'.

"Seo? No, she's very sweet," Tosh said, as she checked every door in the Hub. Yanking them all open, each in turn. "Friendly. Nice. Wouldn't harm a fly. At least, not intentionally."

"Owen said she was dangerous," said Gwen.

"Oh, she is that," Tosh admitted. She reached one that didn't open, and sighed, dug out a key, and unlocked it. "Very dangerous. But also very sweet." She turned, and went to check the next door.

Gwen peeked inside the room that Tosh had just unlocked. "But… that's the armory!" Gwen said, chasing after Tosh. "If she's dangerous, should we really be unlocking…?"

"A locked door is like a challenge to her," said Tosh, continuing to check doors. "If you keep a door locked, it's guaranteed she'll go in there."

Gwen nodded, slowly. Taking this all in.

"Chocolates," Ianto explained, setting out a plate, in the center of the Hub. "Her favorite kind. Good for distraction purposes." He shrugged. "Sometimes."

"Distraction?" asked Gwen. "From… what?"

"Everything, really," Ianto admitted, setting out a pile of napkins, nearby. "She always tries to mess about with things she doesn't quite understand. Our job is to keep her away from the more dangerous things. Or attempt to."

Gwen looked around, at everyone hustling and trying to get the hub ready for their arrivals. Her mind racing to process all this.

"Look, if this alien really is that dangerous," said Gwen, "then… why isn't she locked up, here? With us? Permanently?"

"Buffy looks after her," said Ianto. "Keeps her under control — for the most part. Besides," with a shrug, "she'd never intentionally harm anyone."

Gwen leaned in, closer. "But… if she wouldn't harm anyone," she whispered, "why all the preparation work? The distractions? Why is Jack hiding all the most dangerous weaponry we have where she can't find it?"

"I said she'd never intentionally harm anyone," Ianto replied.

"Seo? No, she'll be fine," said Jack, as he continued to stash alien guns away into hiding spots. "And as for Buffy — well, she's a bit of a living legend, in and of herself. Trust me. You'll like them."

Gwen nodded, slowly. "So… that's why this 'Seo' isn't locked up in Torchwood? Because she's in Buffy's custody?"

"Buffy's not her jailer; Buffy's her mom," Jack replied. He turned to Gwen. "And the reason Seo isn't locked up here is that she doesn't need to be."

"I thought she was alien," said Gwen.

"Part alien," Jack qualified. "And just because she's part alien, that doesn't make her part evil." He laughed. "In fact, she's got to be one of the most morally stubborn people out there. Headstrong, determined, and fiercely loyal to her friends." He grinned at Gwen, then got back to work, hiding the weapons around the Torchwood Hub. "Told you. You'll like her."

"If she's not evil," said Gwen, "then why are you hiding all the weapons?"

"I said she wasn't evil," said Jack, with a little shrug. "Never said she wasn't a troublemaker."

"Still haven't worked it out, yet, then?" asked Owen, as Gwen walked into the medical lab. He didn't look up at her, as he continued cleaning and sterilizing his medical instruments from the alien autopsy he'd done, that morning. "Why she's dangerous?"

Gwen sat down on the steps. "Everyone here says she wouldn't hurt anyone. Intentionally."

"Well, except for monsters who've murdered innocent people in cold blood," said Owen, studying a scalpel beneath the light. "She hurts them. But even then… long as they don't touch Buffy or the rest of us… she usually goes for capturing rather than killing. Trapping rather than injuring." He set down the scalpel. "God help you if you try to hurt her friends, though."

Gwen shook her head. "But that's good, isn't it?"

"Oh, yeah," said Owen. "It's fine. Saved our lives more than once." He grabbed up another surgical instrument, sterilizing it. "But she is still the most dangerous alien you'll ever meet at Torchwood."

"Why?" asked Gwen.

Owen nodded, through the windows, out at the round, circular steel door leading into the Hub. "You see that door, there? Ever tried to move it, when it's not on automatic?"

"It's impenetrable," said Gwen. "You can't move it, if there's no power. That's what Jack told me."

Owen met Gwen's eyes. "Seo can rip that thing right off its hinges," he said. "Bend it in half. Toss it aside. No sweat."

Gwen stared at him. A little dumbstruck.

"Oh, yeah," said Owen, turning back to his work. "Super strong. Doesn't show up on any scans, sensors, or cameras, either. Can get past any automated system, without triggering a single alarm. Something about… existing on a different dimensional frequency, or rubbish like that." He shrugged. "I'm betting half of what Jack tells us about her is all rot, anyways."

Gwen nodded.

"And she's clever," Owen added. He laughed. "Oh, is she ever clever. Manipulative, devious, and highly perceptive. She lies, tricks, steals, and coordinates everything around her, so she can get what she wants. And, when she really knows what she's doing, and has factored in all the variables, there's very little we can do to stop her."

"But if she's really on our side," said Gwen, "why would we want to stop her?"

Owen looked up at Gwen. Putting down his now cleaned tools. "You really don't get it, do you?"

Gwen shook her head.

"Seo's a kid," said Owen. "A teenager. That's what makes her dangerous."


Oh. Suddenly, things began to become a lot clearer. What Jack had said — about her being a troublemaker. What Ianto had said, about her needing distractions. What Tosh had said, about her not harming anyone intentionally.

And why she might want things she shouldn't have.

"See, now, usually, when kids make mistakes," Owen continued, "you think, no big deal. They're young, not very strong, not really influential or powerful enough to cause real problems for anyone except themselves. But Seo… when she messes up… lots of people die and the world almost ends."

Gwen grimaced.

"She's a teenager," said Owen. "An insane, hormone-crazed, angst-ridden, immature teenager. Utterly insecure. Massive mood swings. She might be an alien — and a powerful one at that — but at the moment, she's just as mad and unpredictable as any bloody teenager out there. And that is what makes her the most dangerous alien you'll ever meet at Torchwood."
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