A/N: I own nothing. It belongs to many people who I've never met, and unfortunately most likely never will. This is not for profit, not that I could get any money for it if I tried. Thank you.
"I now call to order this meeting of Weak and Evil," the hunched, greasy man on the platform said, banging the podium with his black gavel. "Our secretary will now call roll."
Another man, this one taller with brown hair and a charming grin, slowly stood from his seat to the right of the platform with a sheet of paper containing the names of all members of the *snigger* elite organization. "Grima Wormtongue," he said lazily. The man on the platform muttered a response. "Beni Gabor." A small, nervously ticking man in a fez darted his hand up and then back down. "Kraven." A vampire reluctantly admitted that, yes, that could be his name. "Lefou." A short fat man jumped up.
"Oh, that's me, that's me!" The entire assembly rolled their eyes at his enthousiasm.
"Lucius Malfoy," the secretary continued. A small rat briefly became a haggard-looking man.
"Umm….the Dark Lord said that Lucius couldn't have the day off," he offered in a timid voice. The rest of the group attempted to smother their various snorts, giggles, and snickers.
"Right, so he'll have to bring the refreshments to the next meeting," the secretary said, writing it down. "Let him know. Anyway, on to the next. Peter Pettigrew."
"That's me," the rat-man said.
"I know that, I just had to do it for form's sake," the secretary said testily. "Racoom." A huge man with a short croping of red hair stood and did a little dance. "Ragetti." A dirty-looking man with only one eye waved an umbrella in the air. "Andrew Wells."
A shorter man (though not as short as some of the others) with blond hair stood up. "Um, I'm here."
"And as I'm Ethan Rayne, I believe that's it," the secretary said, and sat down.
"Now, there isn't much to discuss at this meeting. Next Saturday we'll have our annual picnic, don't forget to invite your betters. Also, everyone needs to check the sign up sheet for what they're supposed to forget to bring. Before we adjurn, is there anyone who's been treated too well since our last meeting?" Wormtongue asked.
"Well, Warren's been mostly ignoring me instead of berating and mocking me, is that being treated too well?" Andrew asked. Wormtongue and Rayne exchanged a look, but Peter Pettigrew answered the question.
"It's borderline. You need to be more annoying." Wormtongue and Rayne exchanged another look, and then Wormtongue turned to face the gathering again.
"That's all for today, I should see you all on Saturday. Don't forget, if you see someone easily corruptible, bring them to the next meeting. Meeting adjourned."