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Invasion of the Blondes

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Summary: For some reason, blondes keep appearing in S.H.I.E.L.D. HQ. Fury wants them gone.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Marvel Universe > AvengerskurttroutFR71434274,01616 May 1316 May 13Yes
Disclaimer: I do not own the Avengers, Leverage, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Stargate: SG-1, Doctor Who, or Community.

1. Parker (Leverage)

"She had nine different S.H.I.E.L.D. IDs on her when we finally caught up."

Director Fury scowled at their lax security.

"Including yours."

Fury scowled deeper.

2. Buffy Summers (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

"Hey! If the big guy didn't want anyone playing with his hammer," she said, giving the item in question a few test swings, "he shouldn't have left it lying around."

3. Samantha Carter (Stargate: SG-1)

"She's says she works in deep-space radar telemetry," Natasha said.

"She definitely knows a lot about astrophysics," Bruce replied. "Way more than Tony and me, at least."

They watched her help Tony enhance the efficiency of the arc reactor.

"You don't like her," said Natasha, breaking the silence.

Bruce ran a hand through his hair.

"I like her. I just get the feeling she's the most dangerous person I've ever met."

4. River Song (Doctor Who)

"I think there is something you should know," the woman said.

The agent leaned forward across the desk.

"There is a man out there. A very old and wise man. By detaining me, you have gained his undivided attention. That is a position very few people strive to achieve."

"Are you threatening us, Professor Song?"

She laughed brightly.

"Oh, no. Of course not. I'm simply explaining to you what you've brought upon yourself."

"This man. Who is he?"

She smiled coldly, dropping her pretense of pleasantness.

Turning towards the corner of the room, she said, "Hello, Sweetie."

5. Britta Perry (Community)

Clint closed the door on the interrogation room but the woman continued talking.

". . . And my therapizing totally worked but then Jeff had to ruin it with that diorama . . ."

"There's something wrong with this one," Clint said to the waiting Natasha.

". . . So Shirley and Troy, who used to be my boyfriend but is now just my friend, had to go to the muffin store across town so they could avoid the Germans . . ."

"Definitely something wrong," Natasha confirmed.

". . . But Annie ended up pushing Pierce off the steamboat just as it was rounding the corner . . ."

"How long until we can get rid of her?" Clint asked.

". . . And that's when Jeff told the Dean that the kitten vending machine had to go . . ."

"Banner says the wormhole won't open again until tomorrow morning," Natasha replied.

". . . Or maybe it was Abed who finally managed to saddle the donkey . . ."

Clint let his head rest against the glass and closed his eyes.

"She's not going to stop," Clint muttered.

Natasha felt a stab of pity in her gut.

"Don't worry, Clint. It's not your fault." She slowly rubbed his back. "She's the worst."

"And," he added, "she says 'bagel' wrong."

The End

You have reached the end of "Invasion of the Blondes". This story is complete.

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