Large PrintHandheldAudioRating
using
 paypal
Twisting The Hellmouth Crossing Over Awards - Results
Rules for Challenges

An Undecided Start

StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking
Story

This story is No. 1 in the series "A Promethean Odyssey". You may wish to read the series introduction first.

Summary: Captain's Log. I'm Willow, Best friend of the Slayer, I'm smart, and I have the training and experience of a Captain of a Flag Vessel. I have no idea what I'm doing.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Stargate > General
Star Trek > Other/General
AlexanderMcphersonFR1539,1301338,96327 May 1313 Jun 13Yes

Meep!

Chapter One

“Meep!”

USS Prometheus, Bridge

“Well?”

She ignored the presently-Ferengi principal, as she used the rear engineering consoles to get a full status report on the ship’s systems.

“I’m waiting.”

“And you will be waiting a while if you don’t let me work.” She sighed as one system she really wanted showed up as offline. “Computer, what shuttlecrafts are presently aboard?”

“One Paris Class Runabout, Two Type 14s, and Two Type 19s.”

“Status of Shuttlecraft Transporter and engine systems?”

“Transporters, offline. Sublight Engines, Offline. Warp drive systems, offline.”

So. She was stuck here.

Wait...

“What has caused the Transporters to go offline, both shuttles and the ship?”

“Insufficient Power.”

Good thing the ship couldn’t be spotted, with its cloaking device.

There was a lot to do to get either Transporters – ship or shuttle – or engines online. And there was no way she’d pilot the ship for a planetary landing. Too bad the holographic systems were offline, one of the systems she’d first checked.

Time to get to work... and it would be easier with an extra set of hands.

“Tell me you have Nog’s knowledge?”

The Ferengi shook his head after a moment.

Great. HE was stuck with only having the physical, when she had the mental knowledge of someone who barely passed the engineering courses.

That reminded her. She was a security officer by training and experience first.

“Computer, how many life signs are aboard the Prometheus?”

“Two. Captain Rosenberg and Lieutenant Commander Nog.”

“Nog’s a Lieutenant Commander?” Snyder asked confused. “What year is this ship from?”

“2401, Earth Gregorian calendar.” The computer replied.

She glared at the man. “I’ll be in main engineering or the shuttlebay if you need me.” She promptly turned for a turbolift, entered and called, “Don’t you dare touch a single system on my ship! Deck 10, Main Engineering.”

--

Main Shuttlebay

She idly heard the cargo doors open, and the loud footsteps of the ship’s only other occupant.

She continued her work, beneath one of the shuttles she’d tractored onto a maintenance pad.

The shuttles were not in good working order.

If anything, she’d say the shuttles, along with the ship, were in the same state they’d all been in during... no. She checked the systems’ stardate to see what time the ship was taken from, it was several years on from that.

“Just how bloody big is this ship? I thought the biggest was only six-fifty long, and that’s a galaxy class!”

In reply, she said nothing.

“Well? Answer me, Miss Rosenberg.”

“That’s Captain Rosenberg. And I will when you decide to be polite.” She couldn’t help but fire back.

Captain Rosenberg was certainly an outgoing, harsh-if-pushed woman, if she could make her say something like that to a figure of authority.

“How big is the ship, Captain?” The man ground out.

“Almost a kilometre long. Where she built with mid-twenty fourth century technology, like the galaxy class, she would need to carry well over a thousand crewmembers, but between Ship-wide Holographic crewmen, and increased computer automation, A Skeleton Crew of maybe fifty, sixty could run the ship. Two-fifty for a minimal regular crew, five-hundred at the outside. Typical for the Odyssey class and similar is four hundred. And technically, the largest ‘canon’ ship shown so far in the show for the Federation is the Sovereign Class Enterprise-E.”

“Holo... holographic crew?” Snyder asked, a little shock showing through his confusion.

“Like the EMH from Voyager. With larger crews, they’re mostly ‘Emergency’ use. Those systems aren’t working, though. Otherwise I’d already be back on Earth, finding out what happened with Buffy and Xander.”

Silence settled for a few minutes, then she was satisfied that her barely-knows-engineering alter ego’s knowledge was on the mark, and her own intelligence putting two and two billion together, she pulled herself from under the shuttle and its ventral-access panels.

“Buffy told me, ‘Go as you aren’t.’ Otherwise I’d have gone as Captain Rosenberg, rose through the ranks with Starfleet Corps of Engineers. Instead I went as Captain Rosenberg, Starfleet Security.”

“You’re a student, not a security officer.” He pointed out.

“No Shit, McCoy.” She ruefully parried back, as she stepped around the large warp nacelle and toward the rear hatch of the Type 14 shuttlecraft. Into the shuttle, she sat in the port side front seat, and sent Snyder an annoyed look when he promptly placed himself into the starboard seat. “Don’t touch anything.”

“What are you doing?”

“Trying to get the transporter systems on this shuttle online.” She replied as she started doing just that.

Then she grinned, and spoke, “Computer, locate and lock onto biological transport test sample in Prometheus’ Auxiliary storage locker on Deck 4, Subsection 12, and initiate site-to-shuttle transport.”

The pair saw the telltale CG effects of the transporter which were apparently actual effects with this technology... and then sludge was released as the effect faded, and covered a good few square feet of the floor.

“Uh... is that supposed to happen?”

Willow sighed. “No.”

Snyder looked up, and finally asked something that was apparently only just occurring to him. “What happened to you last night, anyway?”

“I got into a fist fight with Angel.”

“But... I thought he was a good vampire?”

She stared. “Okay... rewind a second.” She stood up, and retrieved something, and then Snyder found a phaser pointed at him. One that, given it was on the damaged ship, he wasn’t sure whether or not it would actually work if she tried... “You thought what?”

The Ferengi suddenly started to sweat, and she had an idea why... “... I... ah... Oh shit...”

--

Summers House, Sunnydale

Buffy sighed as she cleaned up the bruises on her boyfriend’s face. Given his... current... predicament, she was somewhat glad he could even have them. Vampires didn’t get bruises, or like this if at all.

“Willow did this?”

“Yes.”

“Sweet, Little Innocent can’t hurt a fly because they’re alive too Willow?”

“Yes.”

Buffy looked up at the sky, and spoke, “You go girl.”

“OW!”

“Stop being such a baby!” Buffy chided the changed man who had shot out from her grip, clutching an open wound she was starting to stitch together. That he’d pulled just as she got the needle through skin meant that he’d torn a new one in his own arm.

“Who knew Vampires liked to bleed so much?” She commented with a grin.

“IT... IT’s not funny...”

“Yes. It is.”

--

USS Prometheus, Main Shuttlebay

“Well, he was dressed as someone for Halloween... Buffy insisted...” Willow explained, sat in another shuttle, this time a delta-flyer-lookalike. “And my character didn’t appreciate his... advances... given ‘Captain Rosenberg’s knowledge of that someone’s future.”

“Huh?”

“I went as someone from the year 2403... 2404 maybe. Stupid stardate system doesn’t make any sense. But he was dressed as someone from 2374. Before he got into a relationship with a good friend of m-hers.”

Snyder took less than a second. “Riker.... because Buffy went as...”

“Yep. Regardless of last night, though, I’ll need their help. Hopefully they’re mental package at minimum.”

“You dressed as a trill... and I’m physically a Ferengi.” Snyder pointed out... “Uh...”

“Quantum Signatures blocking such readings at the moment.” She replied. “Only the commbadge is letting Prometheus even know I’m here.”

--

Summers House, Sunnydale

“So, what did he do to get that reaction?” Buffy asked.

Angel winced.

“He didn’t...”

“Yes.”

“Do I have to be worried, Honey?” She asked in a fake voice.

“Do I?” Joyce asked from the doorway.

Buffy winced.

“No, just cleaning wounds and finding out what happened with wills and Angel.”

Joyce sent a withering glare at the man, but nodded. “Well?”

“Riker hit on Willow; Willow didn’t take kindly to her friends’ husband hitting on her.”

SLAP!

“What was that for?!” Angel asked.

“Promised Xander.” She just spoke, and then left with a grin.

--

USS Prometheus, Mess Hall

“How much damage is there?” Snyder asked.

“Physically, minimal, but otherwise... the Primary sensor array is offline, all transporters offline, minimum power to secondary phaser banks but primaries are offline, MVAM systems offline, torpedo launchers offline, shields minimal power, cloak functioning but any 23rd century sensor system could detect us if not see us, Deployable Armor systems offline, warp Drive offline, Sublight engines minimal power for maintaining orbit... need I go on?”

“MVAM?” He asked.

“Uh... nothing, ignore that bit. Not relevant.” She side-stepped, and wondered why the hell her captain instincts were telling her not to talk about that, when the ‘deployable armor’ was more top-secret than most other systems.

“Why is it all offline then?”

She sighed. “The antimatter tanks are empty... so all power we do have is being fed from the Impulse Fusion Reactors. At least replicators work for food.”

“Fu... Fusion reactors?”

She grinned at that reaction. “The technology of the future: where a single starship could power the entire planet, if that planet was twentieth century earth.... and still have enough left over for its own systems to be fully operational. Most systems from the mid twenty-second through to twenty fourth century are rather power hungry.”

She was exaggerating... or thought she was, hoping she was, because otherwise she’d be in a lot of trouble the moment Earth governments and military knew about the ship.

Finally, she decided to ask something that had been on her mind.

“Why did you dress as a Ferengi... or Nog, for that matter?”

“A... A friend dared me, said it would be fun to let a Ferengi run loose on the hellmouth.” He replied, and then slapped a hand over his mouth.

“This wouldn’t be Eric, the guy who plays Nog... right?”

Snyder winced.

“Here’s a question. Should I be calling you Zimmerman?”

With a sigh, the principal replied, “Not really. For one, Marlin Zimmerman is just my stage name.”

“And Snyder is...?”

“The Character I have to pretend to be in sunnydale. It’s kind of a thing I’m trapped in.”

“So really, you’re a nice fluffy guy, all sensitive?”

The look she got for that made her think otherwise. “I’m not ‘fluffy’. But I’m not an asshole. Well, I think I’m not...”

“So... Eric knows. Who else from the cast and crew?”

“Aside from Eric... a few recurring actors... I think the guy who played Broik has a nephew here, even.”

After a second, Willow – not Captain Rosenberg, put it together, and got all Excited. “Wait wait... Jonathan’s uncle is an actor? Wow.”

“Uh... yeah... Daniel.” Blinking, Snyder thought over who else he thought might know.

--

Main Engineering, November 2nd

“So Snyder knew all along?!” Buffy asked, her voice coming out of a hidden speaker in one of the consoles Willow was working on.

“I know, I was angry for a while too... but Buffy, I think he was telling the truth about being forced to behave that way. According to him, ‘Snyder’ isn’t his name, just that of a role he was playing when he got stuck into a magical contract, and ended up in Sunnydale for 8 hours a day, five days a week for 9 months.”

“Wait... He’s an ACTOR?”

Grinning, Willow replied, “Yeap. Soon as I got communications online I had the computer perform an internet search for his real name, and his role. Snyder doesn’t have a birth certificate, drivers licence or Social Security number. You won’t believe who he is though.”

“Why?”

“Because we were all far too accurate with our name calling.”

Two seconds, then laughter came over the speakers, Buffy having got it real quick.

“And the best part...”

“That’s not the best part?”

“... He dressed as Nog, and now is stuck as a Ferengi!

More laughter.

Idly, Willow thought that it wasn’t that nice to think like that, but even with that he’d been forced into that behaviour, she figured he deserved a little ridicule. He didn’t have to go so over-the-top.

After the laughter subsided... “So what do we call him now?”

“Big Ears won’t work, that’s a compliment to a Ferengi.” Willow joked.

“I meant... if he’s not Snyder...”

“I know, it’s going to be confusing, even though he’s asked us to stick with ‘Snyder’ for now.”

“Not as confusing as dealing with the effects from Halloween.”

Willow sighed. “I’m glad I kept the memories and knowledge, but I’m still working half blind up here. My character wasn’t an engineer.” She moved across to another console, and asked, “What about you and Xander?”

“I’ve got a few new habits... and I told my mom. Xander though, he’s a little... different. And I’m worried about him, I’m not sure he’s taking the changes well.”

She narrowed her eyes and turned to the console that was set for the open channel. A few quick taps, and she asked, “Sorry, Buffy... did you say you told your mom?”

“... Yes.”

She sighed. “And?”

“She took it well.”

“You mean, in the space of two hours she must have gone from angry mom to pro-slayer-support, and now it feels a little overbearing?”

“No.” Buffy replied, emphatically, “I mean, yes, she’s all support since about halfway through last night’s patrol, but she’s still angry about it, and so she should be, but she’s not being overbearing at all.”

Willow blinked in confusion. “Wait, I thought you didn’t want your mom dragged into this stuff?”

“Kind of hard to push her back out after her own introduction.”

Willow winced. She knew what Joyce Summers had dressed as, and from Buffy’s last comment, had been at least around others who changed, and remembered afterward, and maybe changed herself.

“Now... About Xander... didn’t he go as a normal soldier?”

Buffy chuckled a little bit. “Nope. He decided to be a soldier-scientist. When I asked him why, he told me it was something to do with a, ‘major matt mason’ thing. I have no idea what that is though.”

“Oh... Xander.” Willow spoke in amusement. “Major Matt Mason, astronaught doll. Or ‘Action Figure’ as guys always insist. So what, he’s smarter now?”

“Sort of... Wills.... he told me last night that, before that night, he wasn’t really smart, not smart enough to be in all those AP classes he is... although he won’t say why he’s in them. But while he has kept some of those smarts from his costume... he’s not wired for it.”

“What do you mean?” She asked, and really wanted to be down there – or Buffy up here – so she could do this face to face... or look after Xander herself.

“Thinking science gives him a headache. An actual headache. And if he thinks too much... he gets a nosebleed. And apparently, he’s got a habit from his character where looking at something prompts him to think science. Mom’s got him in the guest room, and has been dosing his food with a bit of sedative so he won’t do too much. I think we could really use your sickbay to see what’s going on.”

Willow stared at nothing.

The Transporters would take about three days to fix. The Holographic systems in sickbay would take another three days, but the actual EMH program would another six to bring operational... if she was an engineer. As it was, she could fix a transporter in about a week, but she wouldn’t even be able to do a thing with the holographic systems, not after having taken a peek at them hoping to get emergency repair programs on.

None of the shuttles were fuelled, and they didn’t have the power from auxiliary systems to even achieve orbit from the ground.

“Willow?”

Starfleet was considered a ‘jack of all trades’ by many, due to their combined civilian – scientific, medical and military – defense/warfare, intelligence, roles. Starfleet security officers all had to undergo training in every other field and qualify to a basic level before they could even be promoted past lieutenant Junior Grade, higher up in certain fields the higher ranked they are. One of the fields was medical, primarily battlefield first aid. The Dominion War had firmly placed its importance even higher than before, so Starfleet Officer Rosenberg, who had essentially gotten the start of her career from that war, had learned quite a bit of first aid, and some beyond that. Head stuff was a little beyond her, but that was the point... only a little. Kind of like starship engineering which she knew even less about. But where the computer could guide her in parts for repairing the ship, she had her own nuggets of knowledge about twenty-fourth century medicine gathered over the last three decades of the century.

“I... I have an idea. How good are you at Chemistry? Really?”

--

Authors Note:

This is a Rewritten Chapter one.

The rules sort of mean I can’t use Armin Shimmerman (actor who plays Quark and Snyder), nor Aron in reference (Nog), or David Levinson (Broik)... but a simple enough name change... by the way, I kind of vaguely only-as-a-concept remember some films doing this. Last Action Hero had Arnold as both the character from a film coming out of that film, and as the actor who played that character and the character (understandably) getting confused for the actor... But not just that. There are films where they reference the whole ‘this character is played by the actor who played character B in Film/Show A, but since this film’s universe has Film/Show A, we’re saying another Actor played character B, he just happens to look very close to it.’ Thing. Cant think of any, so if you do remember one, name it in review, plz?

Also... Sorry for the huge delay. I’ve been trying to write this and the next chapter, and the rewrite for Stargazing, but it’s kind of difficult when the chair you’re sat on isn’t cushioned (ow my ass) and you haven’t got student bum anymore (aka I can’t sit on solid seating for more than two minutes without hurting, versus OH my God my junior and high schools didn’t have cushioned chairs for us poor poor kids? And I just realised this? Holy crap!) that and very busy looking up HGV/LGV stuff so I can switch jobs (travelling 60 mile, 30 there, 30 back, but its a < 500 quid-a-month job, where I use about £60 of fuel each weekend sometimes only partially covered by having done fewer runs there? Fuck no. Travelling that if it was a second job and I could afford it and it mostly be a ‘work there cuz I like the people there’ instead? Maybe.) I’m a pizza delivery driver. And I’m half a year older than my boss, who started it right out of high school. Gee, way to make me feel inadequate here.

Also, I had no computer during the weeks since first posting this, and I work weekends away from home.

Most of this was already written when I finished it – 13/06/13.

Stargate will appear later, Chapter two maybe, depends how I pace it and stuff.

Btw, I’m sort of trying to come up with a design for the Odyssey class. Think bigger Prometheus-class, with MVAM. But the saucer nacelles are, inspired by the delta flyer. 22 decks, and each section has to be “A Fully-independent starship all its’ own.”

Disclaimer: I do not own BtVS, ST, SG, Etcetera
Next Chapter
StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking