I came barreling around a corner in time to see an alligator guy trying to beat up a...shopping cart?He didn't feel at all demonish and I wasn't sure what that cart had done to him to deserve the Pro-Wrestling treatment, but he sure looked like he was determined to kick its ass.
As far as looks went he was, about six foot and really powerfully built with a mouth with some serious teeth. I think I had just found my perp. He hadn't noticed me and I was happy to let him tire out by destroying grocery transport, when there was a ripple in the water not caused by the battle. I saw two sets of alligator eyes surface, and I waved at them while miming a shusshing noise.
Two more gator guys climbed out of the water next to me, "Hi guys," I whispered. "That's Mercer right?"
Ed, I could tell it was Ed because of the Metallica t-shirt, nodded, "What the hell are you Buffy?"
"I'm a police officer silly. I told you already....and I might be a Slayer."
"What's a Slayer?" RK asked.
"I'll tell you later. First off, what happened to your friend?"
"A really bad trip. Mercer's a decent guy, but he likes his weed. The dealer he usually buys from was out of time so he went to this other guy...a hässlich that had just set up in town."
"Yeah, it was a hässlich, of course he was ugly. Anyway this guy sold Mercer an ounce. Problem was he had it laced with PCP."
"PCP? But that should have faded by now?" I was puzzled.
"Knowing Mercer," Ed continued, "he probably smoked the whole ounce in one sitting. Like RK said, the guy likes his weed."
"Also, some drugs affect us a lot more strongly than they do regular humans," Rk added with Ed nodding in agreement.
"So he smoked it all up and wanted more," I started putting pieces together, "Went back to the dealer...I take it hässlich are not the nicest of people?"
Ed nodded, and might I add, it's really weird seeing an alligator nod.
"Hässlich pissed him off and Mercer kind of killed him?"
RK sighed. My statement on nodding goes double for sighing, "Yeah, pretty much. We pulled him off but he dove into the harbor and headed into the drains. We came down to see if could find him once he sobered up. It looks like he's totally lost it though. You going to arrest him?"
"A nice looking...What are you guys?"
"Skalenzahne like him going bad. It's a sad state of things. Sounds like the hässlich got his karma returned. Well I can't take him in looking like that. Will he revert to human form if he's unconscious?"
"Can I trust you to keep him on ice until we can figure out what to do?" I stressed the 'we'. These guys seemed genuinely concerned about their friend.
RK nodded again then started back in surprise, "You're going to fight him?"
"Relax, I'm tougher than I look," I flashed the two of them a big smile and walked forward trying to remember the best ways to take out an alligator or alligatorish demon.
"Hey Mercer!" I called out. He looked up from the wreckage of the cart and stared at me. "Why don't we take five and..." he charged.
Alligators can run surprisingly fast, so can Buffys however. I sidestepped in time to allow him to crash into the wall. Next step, get onto his back while heel stomping his diaphragm to get him to exhale as much air as possible. Then comes the sleeper hold and the soon to be patented hang on like a Buffy-shaped remora move, while he thrashes and tries to throw or scrape me off.
Problem with choking out an alligator? They can hold their breath for a stupid amount of time, that's why I led off with a heel stomp. Also, with a neck this thick, I wasn't really sure I could get a good carotid squeeze. I started breathing as deeply as possible, prepping for the inevitable plunge...and there it was.
Fortunately the water wasn't that deep, about three feet or so, but it was really gross and slimy. I kept up my hold while trying to relax the rest of me as much as I could. Not an easy trick let me tell you. We had been under for a while and he was spinning and rolling still trying to scrape me off. Then there were two more shapes in the water.
Ed and RK bodily hauled us both out and held Mercer down while I continued the squeeze play. Eventually, which seemed like forever to be honest, he was out and shifted back into human form. I fell off of him with a sigh.
"Thanks guys!" I said, meaning it.
"Is he okay?" Ed asked also shifting back to human.
I checked his pulse and nodded smiling. I pulled open my backpack and opened up the ziploc bag with my business cards. I handed one to RK and Ed.
"Call me tomorrow night. It sounds like this hässlich was a lowlife who didn't give a damn about his customers. Did Mercer know what the effects of PCP would be?"
"Oh yeah. He never did anything harder than pot. Didn't even drink," RK was now a human again too.
"Well then, the worst it would be in my mind is involuntary manslaughter mitigated by the hässlich's causing severe involuntary intoxication. The problem is Mercer's weapon of choice. I can understand why you guys want to keep a low profile, and being gnawed to death doesn't help that."
"Uh yeah," RK's eyes looked slightly glazed over.
"Relax, we'll work this out...In case you haven't noticed, I'm not your typical 5-O," I zipped up my pack and started away, "Don't forget to call me or I will find you."
"No problem Detective!"
I left the sewers and slipped back to the jeep making sure I covered the seats with the garbage bags. I lead the most romantic life. As I pulled away I saw Nick's Land Cruiser parked nearby. Huh, I wonder if he had decided to take a late night peek as well?
Getting home I hosed myself off in the back yard and stripped down in the laundry room, before pulling some sweats on.
"Dawnie I'm back!"
"Workroom!" I heard her voice from upstairs.
I headed up and jumped in the shower for the deep de-sliming. Then into the pajamas and off to the workroom.
"Success?" Dawn asked.
"Oh yeah. Bad drug trip by an alligator dude. PCP for god's sake! Ripped the hell out of his dealer."
"Wow! I mean did you slay him?"
"No actually. His buddies were looking for him too, and managed to do the splainy thing to me to my satisfaction."
I gave Dawn the lowdown and she started with the typing like mad to the Council database.
"Hässlich, skalenzahne, wesen, and Grimm right?"
"Yeah. The skalenzahne didn't feel demonic at all really. More like normalish humans or animals. They did make my eyes tickle a little though, but not all the time."
"Well that's different. You think Grimm is like Grimm's Fairy Tales?"
"Maybe? They said it like I would say Slayer actually. You could hear the capital 'G'."
"So a person or a group. Maybe monster hunters for these wesen guys?"
"That's what I was thinking. Anyway Ed and RK are going to call me tomorrow, so I figured the four of us should meet...actually five counting Mercer."
"Sounds like a good idea. Hopefully the researchers will have something for us by then."
I yawned, "Yeah, anyway I need my sleep. Contrary to popular belief and Faith, alligator wrestling is pretty tiring."
Dawn laughed, "See you in the morning sis."
I waved over my head and stumbled into bed.