: All copyrighted material is the property of its respective owners. I do not hold rights over any characters from Doctor Who or Buffy the Vampire Slayer. But, despite all that, I sure can write some pretty interesting stories about them, huh?
Anyways, here it is! The much awaited sequel to "the Facksisil of Balime"! And the second direct prequel to "the Years that Never Were."
This story takes place in a Sunnydale in which, at the end of "the Facksisil of Balime", Buffy decided not to give the Doctor back his memories. The Doctor continues to live in Sunnydale, and (as Seo mentions in "Happy Endings") never gets stuck in the Initiative.
This story is a lot more like the ones in Adventures of A Line Hopper than the Child of Balime.
(Which is actually because this story was originally conceived as part of the Adventures of a Line Hopper series. But I loved the Buffy/Memory-Lossed-Doctor dynamic, so the alternate universe of the two of them just kept growing, and growing, and eventually I wound up with the story you'll read in the Years that Never Were, and all the rest of it.)
Due to Faith's being around, in this story, the Doctor/Buffy cuteness gets a bit delayed until the end, but... not to fear! There is Doctor/Buffy cuteness galore in "the Years that Never Were"!
And so we proceed.
To a timeline that never happened. And a story of what might have been.
"No," said Buffy. "No mention of Faith whatsoever."
Everyone stared at Buffy, a little dumbfounded.
"Buffy," said Willow, "there's a homicidal maniac on the loose that tried to kill Angel last year. Don't you think we should at least give the Doctor a heads up?"
"And she tried to kill the Doctor, too!" Xander added.
Buffy crossed her arms. "No."
"Buffy—" Giles began.
"If it was anyone else, I'd say of course," said Buffy. "But the Doctor looks for trouble. The moment I warn him about Faith, he will
run out to find her. And there'll be nothing I can do to stop him."
Willow still seemed hesitant.
"I'm going to deal with Faith," Buffy assured them all. "Make sure she's taken care of way before this is even an issue. But… seriously. Not a word to the Doctor."
One day later…
Willow was wondering what was up with Tara. This was supposed to be her big Buffy introduction!
But here Tara was, having just spoken to Buffy while Willow had been off getting them all drinks. And now, Tara was huddling in on herself, looking severely uncomfortable, not even wanting to meet Buffy's eyes.
"Tara's… not feeling well," Willow told Buffy. "I'm gonna walk her home."
Buffy smirked. "Yeah," she said, trying to stifle a laugh. "Yeah, you give her whatever she needs."
This seemed to make Tara even more uncomfortable.
Willow took Tara's hand in hers. "So I guess… I'll see you tonight?" she said. "I mean, unless you run into Boyfriendish."
Buffy blinked. "Boyfriend… ish…?"
"Yeah, Tara and I ran into him earlier," Willow offered. "He's in full brainy-spec, gadget gazing detective mode, at the moment. He said he was looking for you."
Buffy's smile grew a little. "Huh."
"We told him you were on patrol," said Willow. "So he's probably floating around graveyards, right now. You know, if you want to find him. Or he's back at the TARDIS."
"TARDIS," muttered Buffy. She gave a small laugh. "That answers that, then."
"Oh, and… uh… don't worry!" Willow put in, hurriedly. She gave a conspiratorial wink. "We were good. No mention of Faith."
The smile grew even wider. "Yeah, actually, on second thought," said Buffy, turning to head out the door, "don't expect me back, tonight."
"Boyfriendish" was what, they all decided, was the best term for it.
It had started back when Buffy decided not to restore the Doctor's memories. Buffy broke up with Riley right away. Of course. But then… nothing. As far as everyone could tell, Buffy and the Doctor were just really good friends, like they always were.
Until Xander accidentally walked in on them, while they were going at it.
They still didn't call each other 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend', though. The closest they ever got was calling one another their 'companion'.
Buffy had told Willow that the Doctor didn't feel comfortable with the terms 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend', and she had decided not to push the issue. He was an alien, so who knew what courtship rituals he was used to? Anyways, it didn't matter. Buffy trusted him enough to know he wouldn't sleep around or anything. What they called it didn't matter. They were in a relationship.
Willow thought that was really open minded of Buffy.
In fact, it was so open minded, Willow had very nearly introduced Tara to Buffy as her girlfriend, when they met tonight. But with Tara already so uncomfortable, Willow had decided to stick to the term 'friend'.
She figured Buffy would work it out.
Faith had never done it with an alien, before.
She'd also never stolen someone else's body before tonight, but… hey! That seemed to be working pretty well. She'd run into Willow, at the Bronze, and even Willow
had thought that Faith was Buffy.
So obviously, this whole body-swapping thing was going great.
Faith had seen the delicious-looking guy in the pinstripe suit a few times, now. He was pretty hot. Long as he had all the right parts in all the right places, Faith was hoping for a good time. She'd seen him bouncing around, licking everything in sight. Two hearts, too. Some respiratory thing where he didn't have to breathe…
Someone like that had to be a good lay.
And with her wandering around wearing Buffy's body, all Faith had to do was find him. Put on her moves. He'd think she was Buffy. Wild night of passion for both of them. Then all Faith had to do was wake up before he did, and sneak out to catch her plane out of the US.
New body. New life. And she got to screw an alien.
Faith could see the nearest graveyard in the distance. Well, that's where Willow said the Doctor was looking for her. So she might as well get started looking for…
"It's you!" shouted a perky voice, to her right. "Brilliant!"
Before Faith even had the chance to turn her head to see who it was, she found herself grabbed by the hand and yanked forward, stumbling to regain her footing.
"No idea what's causing it," said the brown pinstripe blur dragging her off. "Alien, probably. Or not. Odd energy signature — been tracking that using this whatsit, here." He raised up a weird gizmo thing over his head for her to see.
Faith finally managed to dig her heels into the sidewalk enough to stop the running.
The Doctor turned around, a pair of sexy black glasses on his nose. His wide brown eyes analyzing her with a touch of sheepishness.
"Ah," he said, letting her hand go. He scratched the back of his neck, awkwardly. "I'm… going about this the wrong way, again, aren't I?"
There. That was better. Skip the alien gadgets, and get on with the sex.
"Bet you can make it right," said Faith, advancing towards him, seduction dripping from every word.
The Doctor sighed. His eyes fixing off into the distance. "There are these people… well, I say people. Animated corpses, really. Wandering about. Looking for some sort of vast temporal energy source that they picked up on sometime around… two nights… ago…" He glanced back at Faith. Suddenly defensive. "Which — before you say a word — had absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with my fixing that doo-hickey I found in the TARDIS! That was a coincidence."
Faith felt frustration well up inside of her. So… Buffy had an alien boyfriend with two hearts, the ability to hold his breath for huge periods of time, and a massive oral fixation… and the general nighttime activity for them wasn't
What the hell was Buffy's problem?!
"Well," said the Doctor, noticing the expression on her face, and clearly trying to win her back with some charm. "Maybe it had a little to do with it."
Faith flipped the blond hair of Buffy's stolen body over her shoulders. Then advanced forward, snatching the device out of the Doctor's hand, and throwing it over a shoulder. "I can think of another doo-hickey you can use on me," she purred. Grabbing him up by the shoulders, grinding against him. "Right now."
The Doctor muttered something beneath his breath about human priorities. Then, placing two gentle hands on her shoulders, he backed her away from him — just enough so they weren't touching.
"The animated corpses wandering about," he told her, in a quiet, serious voice. "They're newly killed. Tonight. Whoever this is, wherever they're from, they're trying to locate time travel technology. And they're willing to kill a lot of people to do it."
Faith hesitated. Damn it, this was the kind of thing that Buffy would be really worried about, huh?
"I can't let them get their hands on the TARDIS," the Doctor continued. "I'm sorry. We'll deal with your… hormonal imbalance problem later. This comes first."
'Hormonal imbalance problem'? Oh, that was just…!
Faith glanced around. Trying to decide if she should just run back to the Bronze and pick someone up there. Someone who wouldn't insist that she saved the world before she slept with him.
"Make it up to you," the Doctor said, picking up on her lack of enthusiasm. Faith looked back, and now… there was just a hint of something else in his eyes. Something that told her… that he really
meant it. He gave her a wink. "Promise."
Right. Yeah. Alien. So… B and him running around fighting off other aliens was like foreplay to him. Faith could go with that. Maybe his watching B go all Slayer made him hot or something.
"You better," said Faith. Then grabbed him up by his suit, and kissed him.
Faith had to give him that. She'd figured that he'd know how to use that tongue of his, but… she hadn't expected him to try to work her out like a puzzle, try stroking at different sections of her mouth in different ways to see her reaction, react to and even work to amplify every little thing she liked. By the time she had to pull away… for some air… Faith's face was flushed. And she was feeling much like throwing the guy to the ground and straddling him right then and there.
Even though he didn't seem affected by the little make-out session at all.
Okay. Maybe… he'd be worth it.
The Doctor just gave her a perky grin, grabbed her hand in his, and turned to run off. "Well, then, Buffy," he announced. "In that case… allons-y!"
"I'm sorry you're feeling blechy," Willow said to Tara, as they arrived back at the dorm. "But we'll meet up with Buffy again sometime…"
"She's not your friend," Tara put in, quietly.
Willow glanced over at Tara. Hesitating. "Okay, so maybe you two didn't hit it off right away, but… give her a chance. Buffy's… important to me. You know?"
"No, I mean…" Tara paused, fishing for the right words. She sat down on the bed. "I don't think… she's… her."
Willow nodded, slowly. "You lost me."
"A person's energy has a flow, a unity," Tara explained. "Buffy's was fragmented; it grated, like something forced in where it doesn't belong. Plus… she was kinda mean."
Willow stepped back, the implications of this crashing across her. "You think Buffy's… possessed?"
Tara opened up the nightstand beside the bed, fishing out a magical book and flipping through the pages. "There's a way we can… check…" she said. Her brow bent in concentration. "A passage to the nether-realm, which should allow you to see… maybe even allow us to fix…"
Willow slowly walked towards Tara, her brow furrowed, glancing over Tara's shoulder, trying to make out the spell book.
"If it'll help Buffy," Willow decided, "then let's do it."