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Xander and the Lying Bastard

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Summary: The Scoobies and the Cordettes make a bet over Halloween costumes and all end up dressing up as crew of a ship from the book Ringworld. Multiple Crossovers. Pairings still to be determined but will include X/C.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Literature > Sci-Fi > Ringworld
Stargate > General > General: SG-1
BalderFR181529,702715160,1558 Jul 132 Dec 14Yes

Chapter 9

Xander and the Lying Bastard

Disclaimer: See chapter one.
Author's Note: I don't actually know if you can do this in Switzerland now but you could at one time so I'm going with it. If anyone out there is Swiss and has any corrections they want made please either PM me or leave a comment. Thanks.

Chapter Nine
Forty-eight hours later Giles called back, “My contacts can tell me Major Carter is an honorable woman and on the right side. She’s part of something operating out of the same mountain as NORAD. I was told they paid the council quite well for something dug up in Egypt. None of my contacts know what it is she and her colleagues do exactly but their experience with the council shows them to have open minds and deep pockets.”

Xander replied, “That sounds good Giles. Did you get a chance to talk to the parents of Buffy and Aura?”

“They are quite resistant to the idea unfortunately,” Giles replied soberly. “I think they believe me deranged by the deaths of my favorite students. They humor me but don’t truly listen. I’ll keep trying to get through to them but I fear it will not be easy.”

Buffy said. “I know how difficult it can be to get through to my mom Giles but please try your best with her and Aura’s dad. Maybe you can try showing them some actual magic?”

“Alas Buffy, I already have,” he replied. “They were together and I thought it would be the perfect time to do so.” He sighed, “They thought it was stage magic not anything supernatural and I lack the power for a truly spectacular display. Still I have hope. If I can get in touch with Angel then I am sure he could convince them quite handily. Once they believe I will explain your situation. When I have managed to explain I will call you back at this number.”

Buffy shared a look with Aura, “I guess that will have to do Giles. How is the new Slayer doing?”

Giles replied, “She’s a bit bland, personality wise, and her English is worse than yours but I can’t say she’s not efficient. Her watcher seems to be a bit lazy. He didn’t want to leave his comforts and almost sent her on alone but the council scotched that and so he came along. He’s currently under cover as my Assistant Librarian.” Giles sighed, “The children can’t understand his accent and he spends most of the day sleeping in the stacks but he does own even more rare tomes than I do so I imagine he’ll do fine here. Do you need anything else? Any of you?”

“No, I think we’re good for now Giles,” Buffy said. “Thanks and good luck.”

Xander added, “Watch out for everyone and don’t let the new guy get out of his share of the work you hear?”

With a smile in his voice Giles replied, “I’ll try not to Xander.” More seriously he continued, “I’ll try to get through to your parents and let you know if I succeed. Now I’d better get off the phone, lots of filing to do if I’m to integrate his books into our present collection. Take care children.”

Nessus stated, “The call has terminated should I try to contact the Major now?”

“Not just yet Nessus,” Xander said. “We should go over our message one last time before we send it.”

They had decided to offer to meet Carter and her group out in the Mojave. It was so barren that it would be easy to spot if they brought more people than previously agreed but within driving distance from Edwards Air Force Base. They’d first offer them the clothes and cosmetics and see what was offered in return. If the first trade went well enough they’d see about offering some of the small arms like the stunners. The superconducting cloth, the monofilament, and all other stuff would not be offered until they had met the others several times and could feel certain they would be used properly.

They all agreed on the wording of the reply and Nessus sent it. After Sam received it she sent a copy to Jack and a copy to Daniel for him to check to see if the offer was the same in both languages. Daniel double-checked his understanding of Interworld by translating it before listening to the English part. “Sam? I’ve finished translating. Both offers are substantially the same.”

“Thanks Daniel. I’ll call everyone and meet you in the conference room,” she replied.

They gathered around the table and listened to the latest message, “We are willing to trade but we do have a few conditions. We won’t sell any weapons the first time. We want to meet you in the desert at the location whose picture we are sending. Bring anything you might wish to trade. If all goes well enough we will trade with you again and perhaps answer some of the questions I know you have. Please reply within seventy-two hours.”

“Did we get the picture they mention?” Hammond asked.

“Yes sir,” Carter said. “I sent it off to the NRO to be identified. While Daniel was checking the alien language they called back. It’s in the Mojave desert sir. Not too far from Edwards.”

“Nice flat ground,” O’Neill said. “Hard to surprise someone there. Especially if they are arriving by air.”

Sam nodded, “Yeah, I also think that’s why they picked it. Of course it’s good for us as well being near an Air Force Base.”

“Do you have anything in mind for us to trade Major?” the general asked.

“A few things come to mind,” she replied. “But other than stolen Goa’uld tech and the few things we’ve been given by others, most of which aren’t easily replaceable, I’m not sure what we have that they might want.”

“There’s always art,” Daniel said. “Art is never exactly the same across cultures but you can appreciate art from wildly different cultures and exotic new stuff can be fashionable. If they don’t like our tech we can sell them our art and literature.”

“Daniel has a point general,” Sam said.

“Indeed,” Teal’c said. “I find Tau’ri art most enjoyable. Perhaps bring copies of various media?”

“Works for me,” Jack said. “Just don’t include any porn. We don’t want them to think we aren’t classy.”

The general snorted then nodded, “Well Major, you and Dr. Jackson have three days to both write an acceptance message and gather whatever you decide to take with you. Once you’ve got it assembled we’ll ship it and you to Edwards AFB then have a Humvee take you the rest of the way. Dismissed.”

While waiting for the SGC to reply none of the crew were idle. While five of them were making sure they were completely familiar with the controls of the lander and the ship in general Willow and Nessus were creating new identities and documentation for the crew for afterward. They would be seen by the Air Force people so they had been looking to be citizens of a foreign country so they could spend some of it without looking over their shoulder. Cordelia had been to Europe several times and recommended it.

Researching the various European governments they discovered that some banks in Switzerland would accept bullion deposits. That is to say you could give them gold bars and if you already had an account they’d either credit your account the value of gold that day minus a small transaction fee or just store it for you as is. It was even easier if you were a citizen and Swiss citizens could go anywhere. So between the two of them Willow and Nessus had created Swiss identities for the six humans and started accounts for them with money stolen from various illegal accounts around the world. They all looked adult now and even Xander and Cordelia looked different from before so they had no problem with using their real pictures on official ID.

“Congratulations everyone,” Willow said. “We’re all officially alive again!” She started handing out folders of paperwork, “These were produced by Nessus but should withstand any scrutiny. Everything from birth on, including school transcripts and copies of diplomas. You’ve all got at least a Bachelor’s Degree and done your mandatory time in the militia. Xander’s the captain and owner of record of a ship being built in a shipyard near Port Hercule, Monaco and we’re his crew. That way if any of us call him Captain we’re covered. We can say we’ve sailed with him before. For the same reason he’s listed as being married to Cordelia.”

“So I own half the yacht?” Cordelia said.

Willow smirks, “You own half of everything he has. You two have a joint account and your Platinum Credit Suisse card gets paid from that account monthly. Everyone has a the same deal actually. The cards should be in your folders and they are all unlimited.”

Aura frowns, “If we, or at least you, can do this then why do we need to sell anything?”

“She makes a good point,” Buffy said. “If all this is iron clad, can’t be seen through, stuff then why do we need to sell anything? Furthermore what’s stopping us from going down to Sunnydale and talking to people?”

Willow shrugged, “Well we decided to sell stuff before I saw how much I could accomplish with the help of a 29th century A.I. If you’d rather not then we can do that too. I’ll go along with whatever the rest of you want. As far as I’m concerned you and Xander are my family Buffy. I don’t have any ties holding me there. And as for visiting Sunnydale, as long as we don’t get arrested for entering the country illegally or something, nothing’s stopping us. And even then we could land somewhere in Switzerland and take a plane to California and be there all legal and everything.”

Xander said, “Well we promised the Air Force lady we’d sell her something and I’m not sure how she found us here on the moon so lets not make her mad without good reason okay? We don’t have to sell anything but clothes but we should show up for the first meeting at least. If you want to visit Sunny D before or after that’s fine. You and Aura don’t even have to be there when we sell the stuff.”

Aura’s eyes gleam, “Hey, yeah! I could try to convince my dad in person now. I am shorter and wider now but not that different to fool my own dad I hope.”

“Let’s hope Sunnydale Syndrome works in our favor then,” Cordelia said. “I could do with a day of this boat myself. So are we flying in from Geneva to L.A. then driving or just dropping down outside the city and hoping nobody notices?”
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