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The Wild Card

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Summary: Clue crossover- There was someone else in the house. Written for Fic A Day.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Movies > Other-ComedygrundyFR1316431694311 Aug 1311 Aug 13Yes
Disclaimer: Buffy belongs to Joss. Clue belongs to Parker Brothers/Hasbro, and the movie is the work of John Landis and Jonathan Lynn. The opening dialog is from the movie- my part starts after. No money is being made here, it's all in good fun.



“The body’s gone!”


“What are you all staring at?”


“Well who’s there?”


“What do you mean?”

“No body, that’s what we mean. Mr. Boddy’s body, it’s gone!”

“Maybe he wasn’t dead.”

“We should have made sure!”

“How, by cutting his head off, I suppose?”

“That was uncalled for.”

“We better look for him!”

As it happened, Wadsworth and Yvette had been quite wrong about there being nobody else in the house but the cook. Safely concealed in the secret passage, the sole person in the building who had no connection with Mr. Boddy prior to his unusual dinner party stuffed her hand into her mouth to keep from laughing at the conversation in the study.

Mr. Boddy’s alias was aptly chosen, since he had been dead for years. He had been turned during the war, and come back to the States looking to live in style. Judging by his mansion, he’d achieved his goal, mostly thanks to marks like the ones currently bumbling around trying to work out who had killed him.

Unlike most vampires, who tended to be more the blunt instrument type, Mr. Boddy had a talent for blackmail and manipulation in addition to bloodsucking. Dealing with him called for skills most Slayers never needed. She’d fought him once already, while the others were in the kitchen looking for the cook, but he had managed to get away. He was still hiding somewhere in the house.

His plan was to wait her out. He’d claimed during their fight that her plan had a flaw- she couldn’t very well stake him with so many witnesses around. None of the people in the house, including the unexpected FBI agent her Watcher was most put out about, knew of the supernatural. Unfortunately, his crazy houseguests- the latest victims of his efforts to spend his afterlife living well, and possibly intended to become more traditional vampire victims- weren’t doing the sensible thing and leaving quietly.

As the guests split up to search the house, she stayed put. Unless someone actually discovered the passage, she’d be safe enough. With her sharpened hearing, she’d be alert to anyone coming near to either end of the passage with plenty of time to switch hiding places. She wasn’t even particularly worried about the vampire.

She had no doubt he’d continue to play dead as long as possible. With such a cushy setup, Mr. Boddy wasn’t looking to relocate. He was probably plotting how to wait out this unexpected turn of events, too- and had come to the same conclusion as she had. At some point, his guests were bound to bring his ‘body’ back to the room with the other corpses. All he had to do was play dead until they left.

With any luck, the guests would eventually try to slip away rather than involve the police; even if they didn’t, at some point the FBI would be coming in to clear the house. Either way, once everyone’s attention was elsewhere, she could make her move. It would be best to do it when the guests were all visibly elsewhere and could vouch for having Mr. Boddy dead before she staked him.

Human law enforcement would then be left with the assumption that Mr. Boddy had somehow double-crossed his blackmail victims again and escaped. Hopefully only the guilty would be tagged for the murders that seemed to be cropping up- murders that were doing a remarkably efficient job of disposing of Mr. Boddy’s accomplices.

In the end, though, she didn’t really care what story the guests or the police came up with. They weren't her concern, and she already knew how Mr. Boddy would meet his end- there was no doubt in her mind that she would prevail. Mr. Boddy would be dispatched by the Slayer, in the study, with the stake.

The End

You have reached the end of "The Wild Card". This story is complete.

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