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Death by Nutella

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Summary: She'd killed the alien imposter with Nutella. Accidentally. No matter how many times he read through the autopsy report from Owen, and Buffy's own incident report, Jack still couldn't believe it.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Dr. Who/Torchwood > Buffy-CenteredKoohiiCafeFR71496021,25112 Aug 1312 Aug 13Yes
Title: Death by Nutella
Author: Koohii Cafe
Rating: FR7
Crossover: BtVS/Torchwood
Disclaimer: Since I am a poor chickadee with no wealth to speak of, I think it's safe to say that neither BtVS nor Torchwood are mine. ^^;
Written for: TtH August Fic A Day Challenge
Summary: She'd killed the alien imposter with Nutella. Accidentally. No matter how many times he read through the autopsy report from Owen, and Buffy's own incident report, Jack still couldn't believe it.
Author's Notes: A friend gave me the prompt "Save the world with Nutella." I ran with it. XD





Death by Nutella





Nutella. She'd killed the alien imposter with Nutella. Accidentally. No matter how many times he read through the autopsy report from Owen, and Buffy's own incident report, Jack still couldn't believe it, but the proof was lying several levels down in the morgue below them. Blinking, shaking his head, he pushed the reports across his desk and looked back up at the blonde across his desk, arching an eyebrow.

"You realize that if you hadn't just saved the planet, this would have been an interplanetary incident of horrific proportions, right?" he reiterated, not for the first time since he'd called her in, and she shot him yet another half annoyed, half guilty look.

"I think you've mentioned it a couple hundred times, yeah," she shot back, and he had to strangle back a laugh. She was cute when she was annoyed, but this wasn't the time for contemplating that. He could tease her about it later, after she'd gotten it through her head that she should not be taking alien visitors out for a snack before checking on their dietary needs.

"Buffy-" he began, but she cut him off.

"I know, Jack." She sighed, rolled her eyes, and had that half-guilty look still. "He was just so hungry, and I thought it couldn't hurt! I mean, it was only a bagel, and-"

"A bagel covered with Nutella spread, which is 13% hazelnut, which our friend downstairs is deathly allergic to." His eyebrows arched, the look he gave her significant as he peered over his clasped hands, and she sighed again, her annoyance finally fully replaced with a look of contrition. "We're lucky that he wasn't actually the prince of Bicsouffa as he claimed, and that he was an imposter intent on ruining our relations with the royal family before he murdered the prince and blamed it on us." He paused, still giving that look, waiting-

"Fine. I'm sorry, I won't do it again. No more food giving to aliens until you give the okay, alright." And then she was giving him pouty eyes and lip, and he had to fight back another laugh. It was enough to make him cave, however, and the corner of his mouth quirked up just a bit.

"Good. Now go. You've got Weevil cage duty for the next three months."

"What?" Her eyes widened, her mouth open to protest more, but he cut her off.

"Now." The firm look again, pinning her in place, preventing any denial, until she deflated.

"Fine," she grumbled again, annoyance creeping into her tone once more. Jack held the look until she turned and headed out of his office, mumbling under her breath. Only when she'd disappeared down the stairs, long out of hearing, did he let himself laugh out loud.

The End

You have reached the end of "Death by Nutella". This story is complete.

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