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This story is No. 2 in the series "Missouri's Hunter". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: Xander's not sure how he feels knowing more about Jesse's father than Jesse did. (Sequel to Sugar and part of the Missouri's Hunter series)

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Supernatural > Xander-Centered(Past Donor)LaneyFR71805163,03517 Aug 1317 Aug 13Yes
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Buffy and Angel people belong to Joss and Mutant Enemy. Supernatural belongs to Eric Kripke.
Timeline: BTVS: Set just after Welcome to the Hellmouth. Supernatural - pre-series by about 8 years. I'm keeping to the original timelines. Also, contains mostly secondary characters.

Notes about this series: As I am writing this as part of the August fic-a-day challenge, all the fics written in August will be relatively short. So to give you all an idea, all the fics written in August will be dealing with Missouri and Bill Harvelle's time in Sunnydale. Once August finishes, it will continue on but I will not be writing a fic which rewrites episode after episode. I find them boring to read and will no doubt find them equally boring to write (that goes for both SPN and BTVS). All larger fics will take place in between seasons up until season 2 of BTVS and then will go AU. This will not be a super-Xander series either.

Xander's not sure how he feels knowing more about Jesse's father than Jesse did (actually, he knows more about Jesse's father than his own, but that doesn't bother him nearly as much). He feels a little guilty, awkward. Jesse used to obsess about his father, wonder about the real reason Mr Harvelle walked out on him and his mom when he was two years old. His parents had always been careful to never poison Jesse against one another, but once he and Jesse overheard Mrs McNally talking to Xander's mother (of all people) about the fact that Mr Harvelle walked out one day and didn't contact her for a year. By then, it had been too late.

Xander knows all of it now, all of the reasons, and he's not sure what he should do with that knowledge because, even though Xander's secret is out, there's still so many secrets - like the one where Mrs McNally has no idea she and her second husband chose to live on the Hellmouth or that her son is dead. Apparently, that information is for psychics and hunters only.

"What about here?" Missouri asks him as they stop at yet another familiar place.

It wigs Xander out, more than a little, that Missouri knows exactly where his and Jesse's favourite hangouts are - especially since Xander hasn't said a single words since they left the McNally home three hours ago. He's not sure he'll ever get used to Missouri's abilities, even though it's been a couple of days now since they met. Although, there's something to be said about having someone just know things about you without you having to tell them. He's pretty sure that's why he doesn't mind her calling him "sugar", and why he barely leaves her side when he's at the McNally house. Well, that and Mr Harvelle and his hunter buddies scare the bejesus out of him and Missouri scares the bejesus out of them.

The latest place Missouri has taken him to is Kingman's Bluff. He and Jesse used to come here when things got too much at home. Willow used to come with them too, until Xander saw how much talking about his home life bothered Willow. After that, he and Jesse used to sneak out here alone.

"Yeah, I think this is the spot," Xander says, looking out to the ocean.

"He thinks so, too," she assures him, gently squeezing his hand before letting go and stepping away from him. "I'm going to go for a little walk, sugar. I won't be too far. You just call me when you need me."

A well of grief rises in him as he thinks of why he's here.

He waits until she's far enough away from him and then drops his backpack. He rummages through it and pulls out a spade as well as a small box full of Jesse's most treasure possessions (well, the possessions his mom didn't know about). He takes the time to look around the Bluff, searching for the perfect spot. He finds it in the place he and Jesse used to sit, near the edge where they used to throw rocks into the ocean. Carefully, he begins to dig a small hole big enough to house the box. When he finishes he places the box inside the hole, covers it with dirt and then sits beside it.

It will be a long time before Jesse has a grave - memorial - and since there's nothing left of his body, this is the best thing Xander can think of.

Taking a deep breath, Xander stares out at the Pacific Ocean, just like he and Jesse used to do. They always found it easier to talk about the awkward stuff when they weren't looking at each other.

"So, I've been talking to your sperm donor," Xander begins, "and I think I understand now. You see, he's a hunter, and your mom doesn't know..."


The End

You have reached the end of "Awkward". This story is complete.

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