Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Buffy. I own no Buffy, no Xander, no nothing as much as I wish as it weren't so. Sad me. See my sad face? :(
Summary: After Warren makes Buffy think she killed his girlfriend, instead of going to turn herself into the police, Buffy writes a letter.
Buffy was a coward. She couldn't turn herself it. She just couldn't walk into that police station and confess. She was a bloody coward.
Guilt was like a living thing and was choking the life out of her. She had locked herself in her room, too sick of seeing the sympathetic looks that the others gave her. It just made her heartbreak even more. She just wished that there was someone that could understand what she was going through...Buffy sat up in bed suddenly, an idea hitting her. Her breath caught in her throat, and she rose from bed then shook her head.
That was a bad idea. There was no way she would want to hear from Buffy, no in a million years. There was so much bad blood between the two of them, and...and Buffy needed to reach out to her slayer sister. She...she knew that she might face rejection, but she needed to reach out to someone who understood and perhaps start making amends of her own.
She grabbed a pen and piece of paper and started writing.
Faith had been shocked when the guard handed her a letter, even more surprised by the name on it. Angel she would have understood, but Buffy? It really came out of left field, and for days the letter sat underneath her pillow unread. Eventually curiosity won out over all her misgivings and fears, and she peeled the letter open and began to read.Dear Faith,
Bet you never expected to get mail from me, did you? Honestly, I never suspected to be writing to you, but I...I needed someone who understands. I know I have no right to ask that of you, because now after all I've been through I know that all that happened between you and us, wasn't all your fault. Instead of giving you the connect or home you wanted, we were petty and shun you, making you feel unwelcomed in a town that was rightfully yours to protect.
Faith had to reread the first paragraph to make sure she had read it right before giving a long breath and she ran her hand through her hair, trying to understand what was going on. Why Buffy would write her or want to talk to her now, and the words...they affected her more than she thought they would. Steeling herself, she continued to read.I'm not saying you aren't guilty, or absolve you of anything you did. But...I'm just saying you aren't entirely at fault. I keep going over things in my head...if I hadn't let my jealously get the best of me, would you have turned dark? If I had stuck with you through the Finch thing instead of believing you were fine when you weren't, would you have been where you were? Maybe not. I don't know...all I know is that, I'm sorry and if I could go back and undo that I would. I should have realized how much pain you were in thinking you killed someone...how dirty, how much the guilt hurts.
I didn't then, but I do now.
Faith felt the air woosh out of her lungs, and her fingers tightened on the paper.I made another mistake. Just like with Finch when I tossed him to you, in the heat of battle I accidently broke a girl's neck...I can't stand it, Faith. I can't stand the stares, the whispers, the pain...I don't know how you held on as long as you did. I'm writing to you, because you're the only one who knows what I'm feeling at the moment, and I know that I have no right to ask...but if you could just lie and tell me I'm going to be fine. You don't have to really mean it, but...maybe seeing it would help.
Faith's fingers trembled, anger boiling in her. Buffy didn't have any right to ask that of her, after everything they had done to her. Treating her like dirt, like she wasn't good enough, and she had tried
to be good enough. She had fought to be good enough, but then she fell back into old habits. Let herself become exactly what they thought she was and now here she was trying again to be good enough. All the anger drained out of her. Buffy had no right to ask Faith for understanding, but Faith had no right not to forgive Buffy because the blond slayer had forgiven her. With a deep sigh, Faith reluctantly asked the guard for a pen and paper. She had a letter to write.
"Buffy! You got a letter...from Faith?" Willow stared at the letter in disbelief. All the Scoobies shared a worried look, and became even more worried when Buffy practically flew down the stairs, stealing the letter before rushing up to her room once more.
"Okay..." Xander raised his hand. "Anyone else having a WTF moment?"
Anya and Dawn raised their hands. "Is she possessed?" Anya asked.
"Nope," Tara shook her head. "Her aura is clean."
"Then why in the world is she writing Faith?" Xander asked.
Buffy opened the letter, worried at the lightness of it. She pulled out the piece of paper, her heart thundering in her chest. The hope for understanding, to somehow let go the guilt almost too much to bear. She carefully unfolded the paper, and stared at the one sentence written in the center of the page.Everything's going to be Five by Five, B.
Your Sister Slayer, F
It took Buffy a moment to absorb the words on the page, and once she did, she broke down finally letting herself cry out all of her guilt and began to heal. Back in Los Angeles, Faith sat in her cell and began to heal as well.
RRs are appreciated.