Large PrintHandheldAudioRating
Twisting The Hellmouth Crossing Over Awards - Results
Rules for Challenges

This Switch Won't Turn Off!

StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking

Summary: Semi crack story: Faith doesn't use the body swapping device on Buffy.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
DC Universe > GeneralMistofRainbowsFR1535134,0991320759,9272 Oct 1311 May 14No

Chapter Nineteen

Faith looked at the android that Tarot was controlling, “How is it going?”

Tarot smiled as she pointed to the cloning vats that she had used her Ring to rebuild, “It’s actually going well. I managed to find an alchemist for Joe to add to our growing collection. I also cleared out the rest of the filth that was here.”

“Anything useful in the alchemist‘s bag of tricks?”

“Lots of temporary potions and an immortality elixir that looks promising if we can fix the side effects.”

Faith asked, “Side effects?”

“The guy was nuts, it might have been caused by the elixir or it could have been something else. It’s going to take some testing before we know for sure.”

Faith pointed at the bodies growing in the chamber, “Who are you cloning other than the Doctor?”

Tarot smiled, “Franklin and Valeria Richards, one of the teams found their remains in an underground lab. I’ve also managed to work around the virus in a few tissue samples, I’m trying to clone a couple of mutants and metahumans from the samples.”

“Work around?”

“Using the Doctor’s various heads we were able to get a decent baseline for the virus, then I recreated the scanned DNA without the virus, it’s easier than trying to destroy the virus and keep the flesh intact.”

Faith asked, “Anyone in particular?”

“She Hulk, the Red She Hulk, Mystique, Shadowcat, Medusa…”

Faith cut in, “Medusa?”

“Codename, she’s got a form of telekinesis that works on her hair… that’s what the reports say anyways… I thought it might be useful.”

Faith laughed, “Anyone else?”

“Some DNA from Hercules and we have Gambit and the Black Widow’s heads so Joe is working on transferring their minds to androids while we grow new bodies for them.”

“Like the ancient hero?”

“More or less.”

“Right… see what you can do.”

Tarot chuckled, “I’m working on it.”

Faith smiled, “I’m going to go check on another project.”

Tarot said, “Have fun.”

Andrew glared at the zombie that was chewing on his arm, “That’s mine! You can’t just rip someone’s arm off.”

Daniel Rand charged up his fist and punched through the annoying man’s chest only to find out that it was a robot. “Not food.”

Andrew scowled as his screen flashed then went dark. “Damn it.”

Daniel Rand had a moment or two of disappointment at finding out the creature wasn’t human before the creature’s ring pulsed and he ceased to exist.


Faith looked in the direction of the explosion. She had been heading toward Stark Tower to claim the tech there when something exploded in another part of the city. “What was that?”

Blitz said, “Andrew’s ring self destructed because of damage to the android.”

“Did he just not have his shield up or did something punch through the shield?”

“I’m checking the logs, something punched through the passive shield before the Ring knew it was there.”

Faith scowled, “Great, no more trips for Andrew if he can’t keep his eyes on the ball.”

“Is this a good time to mention that we have a problem on the station?”


“Apparently we’re in a bit of a space battle with some crafts that are trying to find a way to get onto the station.”

“Wait what?”

“Anya gave them a warning that we’re under quarantine, they assured us they have no zombies aboard, she told them that she didn’t care about their assurances and warned them not to come any closer because she wasn‘t going to get turned into a zombie, they ignored her warning and said that they were claiming the ship.”

“Are they dead?”

“I don’t think she really liked the idea of becoming a rotting copse, she opened fire with nearly everything we have. So yes, they‘re quite dead. We might have a bit of a problem because of that display.”


“Given the ship’s location, it’s unlikely that at least some of the remaining zombies failed to notice the lightshow.”

Faith sighed, “Crap.”

“I suggest we quickly steal the Stark Tower and haul it into space with us. Then we can search it while waiting for anything the zombies send to kill us.”

“Fine, we should see if we can steal the Avenger’s mansion as well.”

Blitz said, “Agreed.”

“At some point we’re going to have to discuss the sanity of leaving a trigger happy ex-demon in charge of the weapons on the stations.”



Buffy stared as a horde of what looked like cobbled together ships flew at them, “Do they seriously expect this to work?”

Faith scowled, “Hell if I know. The more we destroy now the better off we’ll be when we have to shoot them down later.”

Buffy conjured an energy sword construct and flew toward the ships.

Blitz said, “We’ve got a problem…”

Faith scowled as she sat up in her Virtual reality chair. “What the hell just happened?”

Buffy scowled as she pulled her helmet off, “No idea, my vision twisted around then nothing.”

Blitz said, “Something snuck up on Buffy and twisted her head off which caused the ring to self destruct.”

Faith sighed, “Which took out my android.”

Blitz said, “Yes. On the upside the explosions destroyed the ships heading toward our previous location. I’ve activated a full cloak and moved the station.”

“I’m a bit annoyed that they aren’t ripping each other apart so that when they find food there is more for them.”

Buffy snorted, “That would be easier. How come the Ring‘s shield wasn‘t enough?”

Blitz said, “That would be my fault, the Rings I created for the androids are much simpler and designed to explode in the case of damage or separation from the android body. I didn’t want someone being able to use them against us.”

Faith rubbed her fingers over her Ring, “I’d rather a bit of an inconvenience than that a zombie get a power Ring, especially if they can figure out a way to recharge it.”

“They shouldn’t be able to as I specifically removed the ability to accept a charge from anything other than an actual Power Ring but at this point, I’m not willing to take the chance.”

Buffy shuttered, “They’re dangerous enough. How sure are we that the Ring’s explosion killed the creature that attacked me?”

Blitz said, “Unless it was nearly as durable as Xander’s original crystal form it’s likely gone.”

“In other words, with our luck it’s likely just pissed and hiding or regenerating.”

Faith scowled, “Probably.”

Buffy sighed, “We should probably investigate where that first ship came from.”

Blitz said, “I’ll work on that. In the meantime I’ve randomized our course so we shouldn’t have any more problems. I suggest we send down androids that aren’t linked to the ship to finish the magical item collection.”

Faith frowned, “That might negatively impact Tarot and Joe’s project.”

“At this point I’m not all that sure I care. We had a zombie appear outside the ship, I blasted it but if we hadn’t had the shields and wards up it would have probably teleported inside.”

Buffy rolled her eyes, “Why haven’t we just left?”

“We need another week to make sure that we don’t leave a door to the next world.”

“Then we’re out of here right?”

Faith nodded, “Exactly.”


Faith walked into the lab on the snail ship, “What do you have for me?”

Dawn said, “Relax, the objects only cleared decontamination five hours ago.”

“And I know that you’ve been busy, so what do you have for me?”

Dawn giggled, “I’ve managed to get a light red cloak that can change shape into various types of coats by combining a copy of the cloak of Levitation with a copy of the Cloak of Destiny. I’m rather happy with the results. I also managed to combine a copy of the red white and blue shield with a copy of the Shield of Darkness.”


“Now it both absorbs energy and allows you to redirect it with the Sword of Light.”

“Sword of Light?”

“Yeah, one of the teams found it in New York on the corpse of the Black Knight. Same guy that had the shield. He also had an indestructible blade though according to reports it’s cursed so I haven‘t messed with it yet. I’m waiting for Willow to help with that one. The man also had a very neat magical amulet that let him store his armor.”

“That could be useful.”

Dawn grinned, “It should be, Willow is looking over cerebro and a weird chair like device that amplifies psychic powers.”

“Where did the group find the weird chair?”

“New York, that place was insane with loot.”

“That makes sense as it was also the area the big battle happened at. Any luck with Thor’s hammer?”

“Yes and no actually. Thor’s actual hammer is still Thor’s hammer. Once we hauled the whole building into space we were able to clear the mansion out of salvageable tech. It took a couple of days to decontaminate the stuff that we wanted to keep. Then we sort of ripped the floor apart, decontaminated everything by blasting it and we hauled the piece of floor onto the snail ship. After that it was just a matter of having an android grab the hammer and zapping the android with the Ferula Gemini to copy the hammer.”

“Amusingly enough we could have avoided the trouble by having Xander come in and pick the hammer up as he’s apparently worthy.”

Faith snorted, “I’m not terribly surprised as he doesn’t know the meaning of giving up.”

Dawn grinned, “At that point we duplicated the duplicate and repeated the process enough that our magic users could overwhelm one of the copy’s weakened defenses and turn it into a shield. While it was still recharging we fused it with a copy of the absorbing shield, we got a couple of copies of the shield then we had our collected group of magic uses turn the shield into a piece of hull plating. We’re still working on figuring out how to link the Sword of Light to it but once we figure it all out we’ll have a ship that should be able to take a hit from nearly any type of energy and then turn around and blast them to vapor.”

Faith asked, “And that’s not overkill?”

“We’re in a world with zombies that ate an alien that eats planets, there is no such thing as overkill.”

Faith could see Dawn’s point of view. “Any luck copying Iron Man’s armor?”

Dawn laughed, “Bella is working on that project. If we leave the helmet open and hit an android with the Ferula Gemini we can copy it. Other than that, Bella is using Willow’s power to try to upgrade the systems then she’ll look at creating the suit out of either adamantium or the stuff we’re thinking about using for hull plating. If we enchant it correctly then we should be able to link it to an amulet so that people can store their personal armor in a pocket world when they’re not using it.”

Faith nodded, “That makes sense, keep working on the sword, has anyone recovered Excalibur yet?”

Dawn shook her head, “Not yet or if we have we haven’t realized that we’ve found it. People have records of it existing but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t retrieved or hidden when things went crazy on the world. We have tons of stuff that still needs to go through decontamination. How is Tarot’s project going?”

“Good, the androids managed to get a couple of viable people cloned. We got Natasha and Gambit up on their feet, we transferred Doctor Strange to his clone so his magic should be regenerating normally now. Blitz wove together some personalities using Gambit and Natasha’s personalities with a couple of dashes of Doctor Strange’s knowledge tossed in…” Faith conjured an energy blade and cut through three of the nine figures that suddenly teleported into the room.

Dawn dove for the most powerful shield she had created and one of the Swords of Light. She blocked the first blast of power then sent it back with the sword.

Forge dove for the floor, “Don’t kill me!”

War Machine slammed into the wall thanks to Faith’s blade cutting into his armor slightly. He didn’t want to fight someone that could cut his armor when he wasn‘t sure that their mission was justified. “I surrender.”

Fabian Cortez pointed a device at Faith and Dawn that blasted them with energy designed to disrupt mutant powers. He shouted, “Kill them! They killed the others.”

The remaining five mutants opened fire with a variety of energy powers. Faith conjured an energy shield and then cut limbs off with her blade while blocking the blasts heading her way.

Forge stayed on the ground hoping that they wouldn’t kill him for Fabian’s ill-conceived plan to take their ship.

Faith reached out with her telepathy and ripped into Fabian’s mind while she killed the rest of the soldiers shooting at her by blasting them with heat vision. “Blitz, get some people to the bridge and the engine room. They teleported more people onto the ship.”

“On it boss.”

Faith scowled as she lifted Fabian up with her telekinesis, “You better hope to fucking hell you didn’t bring any of the virus aboard my ship.” She looked over at the man in armor, “If you fire any of your weapons in here and damage our collection I’ll rip your suit open and toss you into space.”

War Machine sighed, “I didn’t want to come but you shouldn‘t have fired on the ship trying to talk to you.”

Faith snorted, “Is that what he said? That ship was warned to stay the hell away from us. They said they were claiming my ship and charged us so we destroyed them.”

War Machine turned to look at Fabian, “You lied.”

Fabian scowled, “We’re trying for a better world.”

“You’re a murderer for no better reason than points in a game. On the upside, you’ve got a useful power so you get to live a little longer. Blitz, send an android head so I can stuff Fabian into it.” She turned to look at War Machine, “I’d really like to know how you teleported onto my ship.”

Dawn glared at Forge and War Machine, “Stay down and we won’t have a problem.”

Forge gulped, “That was my fault, after you destroyed the scout ship Fabian wanted a way to get here. My mutant power allows me to create high tech devices.”

Fabian shouted, “Don’t tell her anything, she’s profiting off of humanity, she’s obviously a liar.”

Faith scowled, “Blitz have everyone run a scan for the virus.”

“I’m already on it.”

Faith ignored Fabian as she looked at War Machine, “So, James, I can call you James right?”

“How?” James Rhodes asked.

“Telepath among other things. So let’s have a look see.” She reached out and scanned Forge and the man in the machine. “You guys wasted people on this, people you could have used to help rebuild the human race, all because Fabian got greedy.”

Fabian sneered, “Bitch.”

Faith shrugged, “Details. How are you supposed to get back?”

Forge said, “It’s a one way trip, we were going to have to fly back.”

Dawn snickered, “That would be rather hard as the hull is solid.”

James sighed, “Now what?”

Faith said, “I’m going to scan everyone to make sure you’re clean of the zombie virus then I’ve got a job offer for Forge, after that I’ll send everyone back. You‘re of course free to refuse the job without penalty but I don‘t think you will.”

War Machine asked, “As simple as that?”

“As simple as that.”

Fabian scowled, “You need me, I can boost mutant powers.”

“I know, that’s the only reason you’re still alive.”

Forge asked, “What do you want my help with?”

“We recovered Cerebro from the mansion, as I understand it, it boosts telepathy, we recovered a chair from New York that boosts mental powers. We’ve got a girl with telepathy and the ability to teleport other people. Cerebro has been altered to detect humans, I was thinking if we could alter it to detect the zombies or build another device that could then you could build a device to boost our teleporter’s powers such that she could teleport the world’s zombies into a volcano or onto a ship or something that we could then toss into the sun.”

Forge frowned, “I’d need to have a place to start but I can try.”

Faith looked at Fabian, she was hoping that merging some copies of him with a android would eventually turn his power into something machine based, even if that didn’t work they could probably scan the energy he used and have Forge build something like it. “Excellent. Dawn go ahead and show Forge to where Willow is working on cerebro and the chair.” She levitated Fabian out of the room, no point in letting James or Forge know that she could cause people to swap bodies or that they had a way to duplicate people. Forge had an interesting power that she wouldn‘t mind adding to her group‘s collection.

The android Tarot was controlling smiled as she looked at the Red She Hulk with Medusa’s hair and Gambit’s glowing red eyes. “Welcome to the future Natasha.”

Natasha sighed as she looked at her red arm, “You couldn’t just give me back my normal body?”

“You’re faster, you’re stronger, you can phase through stuff like Shadowcat, you shape shift like Mystique, toss energy around like Gambit and you have Medusa’s hair. We also tossed in some of Hercules’s blood for fun.”

“For fun?”

Tarot chuckled, “If it makes you feel better your normal form looks like you used to.”

Natasha frowned slightly as she accessed the ‘memory’ that let her change back to her normal form. She smiled as she changed back to her normal appearance. “That’s better. It‘s still a bit creepy that I have memories of all of my powers.”

“Necessary evil I’m afraid, Gambit’s powers are rather dangerous and the rest have enough of a learning curve that sharing some memories is just easier. Hercules’s blood means that the red form is really just for show, it gives you a touch more power but mostly it’s just for the secret identity. The fact that you probably have Gambit‘s ability to charm people and Mystique’s shape shifting should help you with any future spying missions.”

Natasha frowned, “I’m not sure there are enough humans left to worry about spying.”

Tarot said, “Maybe not here, but I’m sure that we’ve got a place in our crew for someone with your talents.”

Natasha smiled slightly, “If we can clean this world up, then I’d gladly go with you. How is Gambit adjusting to his Hulk form?”

“He’s practicing against Shadowcat.”

Natasha smiled slightly, “I’m just sorry that you couldn’t save more people.”

Tarot sighed, “It would have been nice, sadly it requires a bit of luck and finding their intact head. We found Shadowcat mostly whole, you, Hawkeye and Gambit just got lucky that we found your heads.”

Natasha asked, “What are you going to do now?”

“Faith has a plan to rid the world of zombies, we’ll see how well it works. After that we’re going to jump worlds.”

Natasha nodded, “Are you really planning on cloning a bunch of hulks?”

Tarot said, “We’re basing them off the prototype for yours and Gambit’s current bodies. So we’re actually using the She Hulk’s DNA, way more control that way. We‘ll give them an education and some weapons and hope that they can destroy the returning zombies.”

Natasha shook her head, “You’ll have a whole world of zombie Hulks.”

“We figured out how to make a partial vaccine for the virus using a device that split the virus from a host.”

“You’re immune?”

“Sadly no and you’re not technically immune either.”

Natasha frowned, “Then what?”

“If you get the virus you die rather than changing into a zombie.”

“Amazingly enough that actually makes me feel better.”

Tarot sighed, “We weren’t willing to risk a world filled with zombie Hulks.”

Natasha nodded, “I would rather be dead than be a zombie that can hurt more people. Let‘s go check on the others.”

Tarot remembered that Tara had often wondered what the world would be like without people, she was fairly sure this hadn’t been what she had pictured.

~Disclaimer: I tried to give the zombies a fair shake, but a lot of the powerful ones got blasted or left. I'm sticking with the no cure for the plague bit... but that doesn't mean that outside magic can't find a partial solution. That said, they're just about done with zombie land.
Next Chapter
StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking