Chapter Seven: Doubt
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Atlantis is owned by Disney.
A/N: Reviews are Good. This has been a subtle hint from the author - Please return to your regularly scheduled reading.Chapter Seven: Doubt
He wakes from an old dream mashed with new hope.
Reaching for his glasses with fumbling fingers in the dark, Milo finally grabs the frames and shoves them roughly on his face. Now able to see, he looks at the neon numbers on his clock and then flops back down onto his bed with a deep sigh. It is still much to late (or perhaps early) to even think of getting up.
But sleep is elusive, he sees her face in his mind.Kida.
What she said, the world he had thought he knew so much about that she had gently but firmly crushed, then built up new again (made real
and invited him
into – that is the part that leaves him anxious that has him pulling his pillow from behind his head, hugging against his chest tightly and sighing agian. Because why would she
) seems so unreal. He thinks about the way she had looked as she talked; that amazing white hair free of the purple scarf around her shoulders ad she sat barefoot with her legs curled up comfortably on his ratty old sofa, lips smiling and arms moving to emphasize her points.
And God, he can’t forget her eyes, her intense blue eyes – how they had even glowed
slightly when she had touched his plant, bringing life back into it’s wilted leaves with her energy. The whole thing was all like some bizarre dream….
The casual thought brings a jolt of fear through him like little else has power to do. Because Milo has dreamt of things like this before, has wished so very badly more times than he can count for the subject of his years of study to be real. Has fantasied about discovering the world of the supernatural, having a new life unfold before him – one where he would have a place, where he would belong.(Could he have just imagined it?)
Tripping in the covers in his haste to get out of bed, Milo nearly goes head first into the floor and barely catches himself. He simply scrabbles upright and towards the door though, needing to know for sure, needing to prove this all to himself somehow.
But looking over his living room area and kitchen in the dark gives him little help. Milo had eaten dinner (feeling a bit self-conscious in front of her after she declined his offer of food – but, then again, he felt that way anyway and he’d rather just ask questions and listen to her talk anyway. There was so much to ask after all and Kida was absolutely fascinating
) and washed up the dishes while she was still here. He had been so caught up in their conversation and not wanting Kida to actually leave that he had kept making up little things to do until his yawning had given him away and she had been the one to smile at him gently and say goodnight.
none of theat had occured another part of his brain pokes at him with the unwanted thought. Maybe
he had simply come home alone – yet again – and read one of his books of vampire lore. Fell asleep with those familiar words running through his brain and dreamt the whole thing up – and the nature of dreams being what they are, it all twisted just a bit, just enough to make it feel real as it happened.
He bites his lip hard because he knows this would not be uncharacteristic behavior for him. After all, how many times in those months after his parents died, did he fall asleep, staring at the wall of a place that would never feel like home, wishing so hard for them to be alive again. Falling into dreams where scenarios built up easily into worlds where that was so – where they were all happy and together again, dreams that were so very vivid that they felt more real than the grey loneliness of his waking life. Somewhere that seemed harsh and scary in comparison - somewhere he had never really found a place, a sense of belonging, quite like the ease of family from when he was young.
Did he do it again? His years of wandering had formed into a knot of intense loneliness that had been weighing on him heavily lately. Had he made it all up? A beautiful woman who wanted him to join her, to be a part of her world - a community he had been fascinated by his whole life.
Milo wanders over to his window sill and stares down at the small, and now rather healthy looking, fern sitting innocently under the moonlight. Even that
is easier to rationalize as his remembering to water it for once, than anything extraordinary having had happened.
Milo’s chest feels tight – Kida
, he tries to tell himself sternly. Her name is Kida and she’s a vampire
(although they don’t use that name anymore) – and Queen of all her kind. I met her at the library and she sat right there on my couch and told me that I was her Consort, her bonded - but only if I wanted to be.
The more he thinks about it the weirder it sounds - the more utterly impossible. Milo feels the resolve he built up moments ago start to crumble around the edges.
But then a surge of inspiration sends him running back towards his bedroom again. Behind him, he hears a faint irritated, mrow
from the sofa shows that what his cat thinks of his late night movements but Milo doesn’t have time to pacify Fluffy right now.
Because, with shaking hands, from the pocket of the pants he wore earlier today he finds the proof. Written in a careful hand, not his own, is a phone and room number from a local hotel. Milo had blushed at the implications when she had written it down on the spare paper for him earlier (even though he had been the one to hesitantly ask for a way to get in touch with her – and Kida certainly hadn’t shown any embarrassment).
Now, looking down at the string of numbers on the lined sheet, his trousers still in his other hand, he waivers indecisively for a prolonged moment. But, he thinks of Kida again (hand on his arm, smiling up at him gently, eyes bright and faintly amused
), and his resolve hardens. He is either truly going crazy or he will make a fool of himself.Either way
, Milo decides, he might as well go all in.
Putting the paper carefully back into the pocket again, he slides the pants on, finds some shoes, grabs his keys, and heads for the door.