Sense and Nonsense Revisited
A mini-sequel to “Trouble With Words”
Disclaimer: This is Joss Whedon's territory, I'm just trespassing for a few minutes.
“Giles,” asked Dawn, “do butlers butle? Why is it called 'putting out' when really it has a lot more to do with 'taking in'. Is ert the opposite of inert? How come 17th Century poets thought daughter rhymed with laughter? Is 'however' an adverbial conjunction or a conjunctive adverb and does it matter? And the phrase 'blow job' doesn’t make any sense, unless I've been doing it wrong.”
Giles shuddered and hid behind the London Times. Xander, seated across the table from Dawn, was suddenly alert. He looked at Dawn, his eyes bright.
“You know,” said Dawn, staring at Xander while musing, “it's possible that I have
been doing it wrong.”
not complaining,” said Xander.
“Well maybe wrong
isn't quite the right word, incomplete
would be more accurate. You see, if I really paid attention to your specific physiological reactions, maybe if I pulled back a little and switched from suckage to blowage at just the right moment I could bring things to a head, so to speak, with nothing but a little air flow. You know, if my timing was just
Xander's mouth dropped open, he started breathing heavier, and he could feel his heart racing.
Dawn, noticing Xander's physiological reactions, said, “Xander, what's wrong?”
“Uh, uh, uh, n-, n-, nothing's wrong, it's just that you...”
“Oh come on Xander, stop it!” said Dawn, “We're in the library, and you know I'm talking linguistics here!”
may think you're talking linguistics, but to me you're talking sex, nothing but sex.”
“Really? Well that explains a lot.”
“And Dawn, you weren't talking about linguistics. I mean seriously. Unless linguistics is a fancy word for using your tongue to good effect.”
Dawn, with a sly smile for Xander, said, “Well, maybe not just
linguistics, and there is a common root for tongue. On the other hand, my question about 'daughter' and laughter' was rhetorical, I actually do know the answer to that...”
“I'd rather hear you talk about blow jobs. And maybe you could expand on 'taking in'.”
“I don't think talk
is what you're thinking about. Although expand certainly sounds apropos.”
“You're right, let's go home.”
“Only if you're in the mood to give as well as receive.”
“Oh god, yes!”
Dawn and Xander, hand in hand, rushed out of the library. After the doors shut behind them and the library was wonderfully quiet again, Giles breathed a heartfelt sigh of relief and reached to the side table for another slice of toast with Marmite.
A few minutes later he put his paper down and looked up at the ceiling in exasperation. “Did poets in the seventeenth century really
think 'daughter' rhymes with 'laughter'? How? Dafter? Lawter? Then again, there is only one letter different between the two words. And how would slaughter fit in? Surely not slafter? Could it be something in between? It makes me wonder about the root of daft. Damn Dawn for not finishing her thought! Now I'll be up all night researching. And talking to myself, apparently.”The End