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“And Another Thing I Hate About You!”

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Summary: “Tiny men with hard hats and jackhammers were at work in his skull, his mouth was an ashtray, he had a ring on his finger, a warm pleasant weight on his chest and a distinct feeling he'd done... something last night. Or maybe someone... ”

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
BtVS/AtS Non-Crossover > Romance > Cordelia/Xander(Current Donor)IronbearFR1840233,8074332995,21113 Oct 1328 Dec 13Yes

Excerpt and Teaser:

An excerpt from the upcoming “And One More Thing I Hate About You!”:

Coming Soon from Disreputable Press!

And one more thing 2 cover1 med

“It may be better to be a live jackal than a dead lion, but it is better still to be a live lion. And usually easier.” —Lazarus Long

"Hey, Cheerleader! Congratulations are in order, I hear," Willy said, leaning forward on the bar with both elbows, wiping a glass. "And, hey, who's your friend?" The weasel's eyes roamed Faith up and down with no apparent recognition. "Hey – you ever think about doing some modeling? Not Hustler or Genesis or anything sleazy now. Classy stuff, like Playboy, only cheaper."

Faith leaned over with an elbow on the bar top, and a razored smile slid across her lips. "Gee, Willy. I never knew you had a death wish," she said in her best sultry. "Looks good on you."

"Glak!" Willy shot back and away from the bar so fast he left an afterimage, slamming back into the back bar and rattling bottles. The glass and the rag hit the floor where he'd been. "Holy crap!"

"Don't play with your food, Michelle. It's unsanitary," Cordelia said.

Willy slid back up to the bar, nervously. He leaned forward again, warily. "Faith?" Willy whispered, harshly, "But but but I- I- I- T-th-th d-d-d... "

"Thought I was in the slammer?" Faith asked, sweetly. "Was. Broke out when I heard you had unfinished business with friends of mine, and came to pay you a visit."

"Nggh!" Willy shot backwards again, eyes widening and all the blood draining from his face.

"Oh for," Cordelia sighed, rolling her eyes. "Stop that, Michelle. Willy. Listen carefully. We are not here to hurt you. Much."

"Aww, mom. I never get to have any fun."

"Stop that."

Willy edged back up to the bar again, slowly beginning to look relieved. He hadn't, Cordelia was impressed to note, peed his pants.

"Jeezuss Kee-rist, Slayer," Willy said, whispering again. "You wanna give me a heart attack? And no need to answer that, sheesh. What are you doing here?"

"Body guarding," Faith said, jerking her head towards Cordelia.

There was a sound of heavy breathing from behind and to one side, and Cordelia suddenly realized she'd been paying way too much attention to the little drama with Willy, and not enough to elsewhere...

That could get you real dead in this town.

"Willy. You sent out for human food," a growly voice rumbled. "How nice."

Faith turned, casually, with a metallic ringing sound, and there was suddenly that wicked short sword point just pricking into the belly of one of the quartet of Wolfren that had wandered up behind them. Her face was expressionless, but her eyes promised, 'That far, no farther.'

"We have a problem?" Faith asked, softly. The big, wicked looking Hibben knife suddenly appeared in her other hand, from somewhere. "'Cause I solve problems, real fast. And I can go through this entire bar like a wolf going through a chicken coop."

The vamps at the back suddenly vaporized, like magic.

Cordelia turned, equally casually, and leaned back with her elbows on the bar top. "I'm not food, but I have been needing a new rug," she said.

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“And One More Thing I Hate About You!”

Book II: A Crazy Little Thing Called Love

Coming soon to theaters near you.

The End

You have reached the end of "“And Another Thing I Hate About You!”". This story is complete.

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