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Barf Vader

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Summary: Response to Challenge 5944 Text From Last Night

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > Buffy-CenteredSSanchezFR1522,012071,9634 Dec 135 Dec 13Yes

Chapter One

Challenge 5944 Texts From Last Night

Challenged by Catlemere on the 19th of November 2010

It was in that pre waking hang over induced fog that Buffy decided death would be a gift she’d gladly accept at this moment. Just before she became aware of the first stab of pain shooting through her head, her stomach roiled in what she knew was a filthy trick. It actually believed she would fall for that one again. No, she learned that lesson the last time. That was not the insistent pull for food, or even crackers to soak up what felt like a boiling pot of acid and left over whiskey. No, that was the warning that anything that dared enter her stomach at this moment would be unceremoniously tossed back out. It was weird that upon first waking it was hard to tell the difference. One would think hunger and hangover gut would feel a lot different, and they did if you actually put food in there, but then again it was a dirty trick probably invented by Giles in the cave man years when the Council was still forming. He would do something like that, just to teach her a lesson.

Opening her eyes it was obviously too early in the day to be awake. The fact that there was any sunlight at all was enough to convince her of this. Wasn’t it well into the morning when she made it to her room? Slowly turning her head, minding the rapidly increasing throb that was now her brain she turned to glare at the window, and losing the battle slowly turned her head back to the wall, and covered her head with the duvet. If a window could win against the slayer glare she knew her day was only going to get worse.

Realising that she was alone, and thinking that wasn’t right, she turned her head back to the offending room and looked for Obi Wan. He was passed out on the floor spread eagle, slack jawed, drooling and clutching Mr Gordo Jr. His beard was sliced off on one side and he had a smiley face with a number one and a star drawn on his chest. One eye brow was shaved off and he had what looked like a scorch mark on his arm. She couldn’t help the almost hysterical laugh that racked her body recalling his drunken challenge to Xander. Fortunately, Buffy had the presence of mind even after that last shot of whiskey to make sure they only used practice light sabres. Unfortunately, that laugh was the last straw and her stomach began it’s first of many revolts as she dashed to the toilet.

After an hour of battling it out with her insides, and winning even if it didn’t feel like a win in the strictest sense, Buffy mustered up the energy to shower and clean the scum from her teeth. Hearing her phone beep, she was glad that at least someone else survived, or hoped so because if it was Giles with an apocalypse, she was calling in sick. Attempting to read the words that in theory should be easily visible with or without her extra slayer vision, she stumbled back to bed and tried to make sense of what she read.

(530) Everyone called me ‘Barf Vader’ and I lost your light sabre.

Sitting up quicker than she should have, Buffy grabbed her head and moaned. Typing a quick, threatening response she slowly curled back under the covers. If Dawn expected sympathy, she was barking up the wrong tree. The whole party was Dawns idea, and the ten bottles of whiskey, seven crates of wine, and the kegs were supplied by her not so innocent sister. Dawn was the one that insisted that Obi and Buffy have a going away party. Dawn was the one that invited Spike and Angel, something Buffy wouldn’t be forgiving her for at least a year. Dawn was the one that insisted on Kitten poker, and what she called a Slayer Battle Royale. Thank the Goddess it was not to the death, although some of those fights were downright nasty. The tricky part was trying to pair slayers with equally drunk slayers. Some of them were hardly able to walk, much less punch. Buffy reluctantly admitted to her sister that it was fun to watch Isobel knock Kennedy around at least until a very drunk, and very angry Willow realized what was happening. The look on Dawns face was worth it as Willow lunged for her and they rolled around on the ground until Xander pulled Willow away and Buffy grudgingly pulled Dawn back.

Her phone beeped again. ‘I’ll get it back. I promise. I think Andrew has it. Is O Positive up yet? Is he very angry?’

‘No, he’s still passed out on the floor.’ Buffy replied.

‘For the love of all that is holy and good in this world Buffy, take a picture!’

‘Fine, but you won’t get it until I get my weapon back.’

‘On it, and don’t leave this galaxy until you forward that picture!’ Dawn replied.

‘May the headache medicine be with you.’
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