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Dawn of Xander

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Summary: Xander puts on a different costume for Halloween. Because all Eldar MUST answer the call!

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Games > Fantasy > Warhammer 40,000MuadzinFR181128,75958133,37026 Dec 135 Aug 14No


Dawn of Xander

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Xander puts on a different costume for Halloween. Because all Eldar MUST answer the call!

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Usually I’m not a big fan of leaving stuff unfinished as my current Original of the Species story is still far from complete. But having once again played way too much Dawn of War 1 (DoW2 sucks, they should have really named it something else as it’s got nothing in common with DoW1) the only way I could get back to writing was by feeding my plot bunny. And it had developed a taste for grimdark much!

Lately I’ve wanted to do a Halloween fic, so why not do a 40K one? Most Halloween/Warhammer crossovers that I’ve found seem to be Imperial based, so far I’ve read Imperial Guard, Inquisition, a feckin’ Grey Knight (how awesome is that? Well, quite a lot actually! Even if it does do a lot of Buffybashing), the God Emperor of Mankind himself. There’s a Space Marine story going on, there’s an Ork story, one extremely short Chaos story and a Necron one. But no Eldar so far.

I like the Eldar. Yeah, they’re the Lords of Status Quo thanks to poor (or maybe lazy) GW writing but I got a thing for almost extinct cultures. I’ve never played a tabletop game or did the 40K miniature thing, but if I did I would go Eldar. Something about them has always fascinated me. In Dawn of War they’re my favorite race. I also like Space Marines, as any loyal subject of the Emprah should, but I like the space elves as well. There should be more BtVS/Eldar crossover instead of LoTR crossover fics, if only because the Eldar would skullf*** that pussy Legolas for the pussy that he is and laugh at him doing the nasty with Buffy because she’s just a lowly Mon-Keigh. All the arrogance, racism and haughtiness of the Imperium, but instead of spread out over a million worlds just concentrated in a few craftworlds. Talk about efficiency?

Just to challenge myself the chapters will be shorter, rather then the epic walls of text my readers are familiar with. I have no idea where I’m going to take this story. It’s just something to get me back into the habit of writing again instead of playing Dawn of War all the time (I’m proud to say I broke the habit!). It might grow into its own epic story, it might turn into a series of shorts. Time and reviews will tell.

One thing though, this story has now been written. I know some of you who like to review come up with interesting suggestions for plot bunnies, and feel free to submit as they might be used for a different story, but this story is already written and finished. Feel free to suggest possible plotbunnies for a sequel though, or anything else that might spark ye olde plotbunny.

Alright, time for the obligatory. Let us never forget the true Gods who came up with this stuff long before I did. All hail Whedon, them dudes at Games Workshop, your spiritual lieges Matt Ward and Rowboat Girlyman whom you should all praise and flagellate yourself for not being as awesome as they are. And of course whoever else I still cannot be arsed to Google up. I know, it’s bad. But you know who you are and what you own better then I do. No rights reserved! All copyrights cheerfully ignored. I’m just playing with this stuff to entertain myself and my readers. I own nothing! In fact this might even result in additional sales/fans for these franchises. Honest!

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‘The random hand of faith delivers me to you’

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AN: Where our conquering hero journeys to a certain shoppe and discovers something about himself and what the universe has to offer. In short, as is usually the case in this particular genre, he finds an AWESOME suit!

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Stupid Angel!

Yet again that dickless twerp was all that was on Buffy’s mind. Now she was even going to dress up for Halloween as some 18th century noble woman just to please his undeadedness.

Truly sickening!

Still, business as usual as far as Xander was concerned. When it came to Buffy and his love for her the universe made him just as much its buttmonkey as it did with everything else in life. A sad life indeed. He would probably have a sad death too, probably when Buffy wasn’t around one day to protect him on the account of her doing the nasty with Angel. But then at least he would die with some symmetry. Not many people could say that, right?

To truly prove to the world that he, Xander Harris, was indeed ‘the buttmonkey’ that troll Snyder had ‘volunteered’ him to lead a small group of children around during Halloween night. Hallelujah!

And the crap shall rain downeth on thee forever!

As Buffy was cooing over some expensive dress with Willow cooing in cheerleader support Xander had wandered off, on the account there was only so much cooing and aahing and Angel related chick talk he could stomach. So he browsed the shop for a simple toy gun instead. As the $2 king of cheap costumes Xander needed just that, a $2 plastic toy gun to finish off his old army surplus store uniform. Even though most people thought he was thatbroke that $2 was his limit, actually he wasn’t. Unlike other people however he felt that wasting anything more then $2 on a costume you’re going to wear once was a waste of good money. Money that could be used on more fruitful things. Like his get out of Sunnyhell free road trip where he was going to see the world after graduation for instance. But as luck had it some kid just grabbed the last toy gun before he could.

And the crap shall rain downeth on thee forever!

The next logical step of course would have been to go to a toy store instead. But he hadn’t come to the costume shop on his own. And since he was waiting for the girls to finish their shopping he more or less had to stick around. Occasionally looking at an object of interest.

A Star Trek phaser?

An actual original series prop?

For $30?

Cool, but way too expensive. And he would have to get a Starfleet uniform. And somehow he didn’t think that Jonathan would part with his. It was also too short for him as well. Not to mention a bit flabby around the waistline. So he wandered on to the next item of interest.

A Star Wars lightsaber?

It was a large fluorescent strip light with a handle attached to it. Interesting. Picking it up Xander noticed a push pull switch and as he switched it on with a hum the lightsaber came to life with a red glow.

“Sithy,” Xander said approvingly, swishing out around, with the lightsaber making the right kind of sounds.

This could work. All he needed were some black clothes, a black hooded cape and Darth Xander would be free to roam the streets this night. Oh yeah, this was so going to work. Dark Side, here I co…..

$75? No way! Too expensive!

Saddened Xander turned off the lightsaber and put it down again.

And the crap shall rain downeth on thee forever!

Next he saw a Colonial Viper Pilot helmet and cape. All original props of the show. And at least $50 each.


To bad that show was so cheesy. I mean casino and western planets?

Also still too much.

A Saiyan warrior’s battle armor. How cool was that? Kamehameha this, Angel! And Larry too for good meas…..

$50? No way!

Besides, Dragonball Z was gay anyway. All those endless 25 episodes long powerups with faces looking like they were constipated. SO not his thing. Besides, if you’re going to dye your hair blonde and style it upwards at least go for something cool, like a punk rocker, not some 18th century style wig.

What’s next? A Minbari fighting pike? Now that was awesome. And only $5. It would appear that with the show now having moved over to TNT and lower ratings this gem had now dropped in value. A sad thing for what was still his favorite television show.

Either that or it was defective.

Xander shook it for a moment to see if it was massive, but he could hear the extensions rattling inside. Then, when he pressed a small round circle the pike extended. It was now more then three feet in length. Barely enough to be a real fighting pike, but then again, he was only going to get a tiny toy gun anyway to complete his cheap ass soldier outfit.

Oh yeah, he was so going to make this worth. Doing some mental gymnastics Xander tried to find ways on how to dress himself as a Ranger. He’d probably have to raid Willow’s father’s wardrobe to complete his outfit, but he could do it. Enthilza! We live for the one, we die for the o……

Then Xander saw something that almost made him drop the fighting pike as his jaw hit the floor. Putting the pike back where he had found it Xander walked to the back of the shop. There, hidden behind a rack of costumes something had caught his attention. Something familiar, something…..

Pushing aside the costumes Xander revealed one other costume and sucked in his breath, too stunned to breathe.

“It can’t be,” he finally said as he reached out and took the tall conical helmet, adorned with many runes. In disbelief Xander stared at the helmet. On a whim Xander put it over his head and while it was a snug fit, it was a fit nonetheless.

“This! Is! Awesome!” Xander said excited as he reached out and found it even came with a long sword. One that he instantly recognized.

It was a witchblade.

The costume he had found was that of an Eldar Farseer.

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AN: The sad thing is, I actually own one of those lightsabers. They! Are! Awesome! Eats batteries like a mofo though. :(
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