Disclaimer: I own none of these characters...
I know I have unfinished stories (which I am working on), but this just grabbed me. This is dedicated to Sparrow, who threw the idea at me.
Yes, it's another stealth crossover. Let's see how long did it takes you to figure out the stealth fandom...
Title is (yet again) thanks to Ithildin.
Please note: My 'experience' with police procedure comes totally from TV shows.
Darcy entered the police station and went to the front desk. "I'm here to pick up Lewis Turner."
"And, his friend?" the uniformed officer behind the desk asked after checking the log book.
"Jack's here too?" Darcy exclaimed, her eyes wide. "Oh, damn it. What did they get arrested for?"
"Drunk and disorderly."
Darcy pinched the bridge of her nose. "Of course. I'm just glad that's all they're in for."
"Since neither has a record, we decided to let them off with a warning. If you'll take responsibility for the evening, we'll release them into your care."
"Yeah, I'll take them," Darcy said with a nod and another sigh.
A few minutes later, two obviously drunk men came over, holding each other up.
"Darcy, my love!" the dark haired man wearing a black shirt with a picture of a snarling Hulk and dark long shorts.
"Who's she again?" the other man, blonde and wearing a white t-shirt and skinny jeans asked.
"If I've worked it out properly, she's your great-great grand niece," The dark haired man said as the two came to a stop in front of Darcy.
"You missed a great in there, Uncle Jack," Darcy pointed out before turning to the blonde man. "I'm Darcy Lewis. Let's get you guys out of here and get some coffee into you, Uncle Lewis."
"Not unless it has rum in it!" Lewis exclaimed as the three tumbled onto the street.
"That's my boy!" Jack exclaimed before turning to the woman coming towards the group. "And, hello, lovely!"
Ignoring the drunk men, the redhead turned to Darcy. "JARVIS pinpointed your location to a police station and we came to make sure you were all right."
"I'm fine. Just family business, Natasha," Darcy replied before calling into the night. "I'm fine. Get out of the damn tree or whatever perch you're in."
A male voice called back from the darkness. "I'm good out here!"
"You are much more interesting than your father," Lewis pointed out with a grin.
"Are you even old enough to drink now?" Jack asked, peering intently at Darcy, swaying in place.
Rolling her eyes, Darcy dragged the two down the street by their wrists. "Yes, I am. Let's go."
"Where are you taking them?" Natasha asked as she followed.
"To find a bar near the beach," Darcy explained over her shoulder.
"You could take them to the tower," Clint pointed out as he appeared out of the shadows.
Ignoring Jack's squeak of surprise, Darcy replied, "I wouldn't let these two degenerates within a mile of the tower. It would end up bare of valuables and liquor."
Lewis peered intently at his descendant. "How can you know me so well, when we haven't met before?"
Darcy rolled her eyes. "Like I didn't grow up on stories about you and Uncle Jack."
"How long until dawn?" Jack asked as the small parade traveled down the street.
Darcy pulled out her phone and checked. "Eight hours. Plenty of time for Uncle here to get it out of his system."
Clint and Natasha looked confused. "Darcy?" Natasha asked.
"I'll explain later," Darcy said with a wave as she pressed buttons on her phone. "I'm calling in sick tomorrow due to imminent hang over."
"That's my girl!" Lewis exclaimed as he tried to throw an arm around his relative, but missed.
Dawn was imminent, and the group of five were holding each other up on a beach that was part of the New York City shoreline.
"This was the best night I've had in a decade!" Lewis exclaimed as he fell into the sand.
Rolling her eyes, Darcy pulled him back up. "That isn't hard."
"Did you send your crew ahead?" Jack asked, swaying forward and peering into the dark sea before them.
Lewis frantically shook his head. "No. They arrive with the dawn."
"Then," Jack pointed towards the ocean. "What are those?"
Darcy peered into the dark. "Oh, hell."
Clint and Natasha seemed to become sober. "What is it?"
"Let's just say they need beheading or stabbed in the heart." Darcy replied as she pulled out her Asgardian knives and Lewis and Jack pulled swords from somewhere. Clint disappeared into the dark, his collapsible bow extended, as Natasha pulled out a gun.
The fight against the three sea demons was quick and brutal.
"You are definitely one of my favorite relatives!" Lewis exclaimed just as there was a bright green flash on the horizon.
Jack nodded. "And we will have a long conversation someday." Turning to Lewis, he gave him a swaying, one armed hug. "Until we meet again, my friend."
"There's a ship, on the water," Clint pointed out incredulously as the group saw a massive ship appeared, water pouring from the decks.
"Yep," Lewis replied. "My ship. Well, Darcy love, I'll be looking for you in a decade."
Rolling her eyes, Darcy gave her Uncle a hug. "I'll be waiting."
They all watched as Lewis strode into the ocean and seemed to disappear after his head went below the waterline.
"Okay, explanations!" Clint exclaimed.
"Boring," Jack replied as he started to wander off. "I'll call you in a few weeks, Darcy. We'll catch up."
"How did you get my number?" Darcy called out as Jack swayed away, but was ignored.
Natasha poked Darcy on the arm and glared. "Explain."
"You really thought a Norse god of Thunder was the beginning of the bizarre in my life?" Darcy said with a grin. "Let me tell you the family history. It all started in Port Royal with a young governor's daughter and the apprentice to a blacksmith. That's where they meet up with Uncle Jack and the strange begins…"
"Yes, I know how to kill those. But, they're mostly harmless. Fine. They hate copper. Just throw some pennies or something at them, and they run away," Darcy said into her phone as she wandered around the tower.
"Who is she talking to?" Bruce asked Natasha as Darcy wandered by. Natasha gave a one shouldered shrug in reply.
"No, I don't feel the need to go treasure hunting in the South Pacific. I can't take that much time off from my job." Stopping in shock, she exclaimed into her phone. "How did you find out where I work?"
"Is there a security breach?" Clint asked as he got off the couch he had been sprawled on.
Darcy looked at him blankly for a moment before shaking her head and continuing her pacing.
"Look, I'm glad you have a lead on that. I know you've been looking for it for decades. I hope you find it. No, I won't use work resources to help you. And, no, I'm not asking Tony Stark if you could borrow a satellite or two." Darcy rolled her eyes and ignored Tony's look of shock as she passed him.
"JARVIS, who is she talking to?" Tony asked.
JARVIS's voice came from the ceiling. "It's an unknown account at this moment, sir. The account is to a satellite phone currently located in the Pacific Ocean."
Darcy paused in her conversation and pulled her phone away from her ear. "It's my Uncle Jack. Don't worry about it." She then went back to her pacing and conversation. "I'm not asking Captain America for help either. Even if it is Nazi gold." Darcy rolled her eyes and calmly stepped around Thor.
"Yes, I'd love to get together the next time we're in the same town. I'll talk to you later." Hanging up her phone she slid it back into her pocket and noticed all the people staring at her. "What?"
Dodging the shots being fired around her, Darcy led some civilians to safety before turning back for another group.
As she ran through pockets of fighting, looking for people to help, she came across a staggering Thor. "Big Guy?" Darcy asked calmly.
"Lady..." Thor got out before he dropped unconscious.
"Well, damn," Darcy ground out before automatically ducking the alien that had thrown itself at her. Reaching around for a weapon, she encountered the handle of Mjolnir. Pulling it up without thinking, she smashed the attacking alien, then stared at the hammer in her hand.
"Thanks, Mew Mew." She then staggered as the hammer got heavier in her hand. "Look, I can't say your proper name. Isn't an affectionate nickname better than a mangled proper name?" As Mjolnir became lighter, she nodded. "I'm glad we agree."
Staying near the still unconscious Thor, she guarded him using Mjolnir. Looking around during a lull in the battle, she saw her Uncle Jack almost prancing around, using a weapon he had obviously gotten off a dead alien to fight them.
"Why are you here?" Darcy called out. "It's dangerous!"
"Not like I can die, love!" Jack replied as he swayed out of the way of an alien's attack.
Throwing Mjolnir at the alien about to skewer Jack from behind, she raised her eyebrows when Jack grabbed the hammer's handle as it passed. He didn't even pause as he swung the hammer around effortlessly.
A few moments later, Thor was staggering up. "Where is Mjolnir?" he demanded, searching around for it.
Darcy pointed at Jack. "He's kicking ass with it."
As Darcy finished her statement, the last alien fell and Jack placed Mjolnir on the ground. "That was invigorating," Jack said with a wide grin. "I'll see you around, love."
"Wait!" Thor called out. "I must know more about the Midgardian that can lift Mjolnir!"
"Sorry, mate. There's a sea goddess that gets very impatient if you make her wait," Jack said as he slipped into an alley and disappeared.
I've had the idea of Darcy being able to wield Mjolnir and having a convo with it for a while now… I wanted to really do a story called "The Excellent Adventures of Darcy and Mew Mew," but I couldn't think of anything else. Then, I found a place to put the idea. Yay!
And, then it hit me… Jack Sparrow may be a drunk, debauched pirate. But, at heart, he's a good man. There were multiple instances that showed that in the movies. Including him refusing to let Angelica die so he could become immortal…
How is Jack actually immortal? Don't know... But, I'm not surprised he found a way...
I'm actually tempted to re-do this as a new series. Darcy, not a slayer, but a normal girl, and her Uncle Jack… Yes, Sparrow, I'm contemplating. Stop prodding…
Oh! My interpretation of PotC: At World's End. Based on the interviews with the writers, and watching the tag… If his love is waiting for him at the end of ten years, the captain of the Flying Dutchman is released. So, Will returned to his love and son, and was released to live happily ever after. Then, one of his descendants, who doesn't have emotional attachments, decided to take up the mantle of captain of the Flying Dutchman. Hello, Uncle Lewis!