Disclaimer: I do not claim any copyrighted material nor do I own any of the characters belonging to BTVS, Angel, Arrow, Avengers, NCIS LA, Marvel and Roswell
In this chapter Felicity has to process what she saw and how she feels. Despite her inner turmoil she must find the strength to move on and face whatever lays ahead. Note that this is ofcourse an alternate universe. Oh and I decided to bring back someone we have all dearly missed. Also Fred is now Illyria powered Fred but is not in love with Wesley. I have someone else in mind for her. Not sure if this will be Olicity and have decided to let the story and the characters guide me. I hope you like it. Thanks for reading. :)
Chapter 2 - Stillness
Going back to her car Felicity willed her brain to stop thinking. She knew that thinking would make her accept the reality of what she saw and then the pain would claim her. She could not afford to give in to her sadness here and now.
She may be broken but no one else had to see that she was. She had given up so much of her pride because of how she felt and it was time to slowly take it back. Plus, she thought quite sardonically, crying would impair her sight and the last thing she needed was to cause a vehicular accident.
Maybe this is what an out of body experience feels like. It's like she is here but not quite here. The drive home was a blur and as soon as she got out of her car she walked to her unit, concentrating on breathing and focused on thinking, just a little bit more, just wait until you get inside. She could do this.
She called Diggle to tell him she had to deal with something out of town for a few weeks an not to worry.
She also called Queen Consolidated's Human Resources Manager to make sure someone would replace her as Oliver's Executive Assistant during her absence.
Opening her apartment, she used her back to push the door closed and did not open the lights. In the darkness she just slumped and slowly slid to the floor until she was sitting with her back against the door. She stared into the stillness with unseeing eyes and felt the damn holding back her tears break.
She remembered the first time Oliver asked for her help. She thought to herself, now THAT is what should be described as salty goodness. To say that he made quite an impression would have been an understatement. Even before he spoke , she had this feeling that her life would never be the same because of him and once he spoke, she became a babbling mess.
When he gave that excuse about his coffee shop being in a tough neighborhood to explain the bulletriddled laptop, she thought, ok I guess we're not the only ones with secrets. Felicity then decided to help him and she decided to let him keep his secrets. Despite making that decision she could not stop herself from tilting her head to one side and raising an eyebrow to express her incredulity at his obvious and amateur attempts to lie to her.
Since then he would drop by every now and then to ask for help. Unbeknownst to him, his ridiculous scenarios to explain why he needed her help became the highlight of her day.
When she found out him at the backseat of her car bleeding from a gunshot wound asking her not to bring him to a hospital but to the Foundry, she was terrified that he would die and called Willow to help him. Willow had no idea who he was to her other than her boss but helped him by healing him enough and removing the bullet so she could take him to the Foundry where she met Diggle.
She chose not to tell them that she was a Slayer or that Willow helped. At that time she and her friends were being hunted by those seeking to prevent them from rebuilding and changing the Watchers Council to what it is now. She also wanted to spare Oliver from more pain. Oliver had already gone through a five year hellish ordeal. She felt that he should not have to add her nightmares to his already heavy burden.
Concealing her identity as a Slayer. She used her other skills to help them in their mission to save Starling City.
The night that the Glades fell, she hurried to CNRI to save Laurel since Oliver might not get there in time only to find his bestfriend Tommy dying. Not wasting time, she called for Willow who teleported them to their Headquarters in Cleveland where Tommy was saved.
Presently there was no longer a bounty on them and the International Slayers and Watchers Council (ISWC) now had a powerful worldwide presence she had been mulling over the idea of sharing her secret with them in case she had to help them on the front lines if there were more super soldiers created by the Mirakuru. Remembering what she saw, she supposed there really is no need to tell them the truth now. Sara can help them and they also had Roy. It spared Giles from having to rub his glasses til it broke when he heard that she wanted to fight alongside the Arrow and meddle in Human Affairs.
She wasn't sure when she fell in love with him. All she knew was that he was intrinsically a good person with the capacity for greatness. She saw that he had so much capacity to love, if he would ever allow himself to truly love someone. Most of all she saw who Oliver was, just a man trying to do better make a difference. She told him he was a hero because that was what he is. Unlike her, he could walk away from being the Arrow and live a normal life but he chose to keep donning his hood to do what he could. The things he could do with a Salmon Ladder were a nice bonus of course. He wasn't perfect, obviously. He had come so far and yet, despite his restraint, he found himself repeating a pattern as far as his personal life was concerned.
More tears fell as she remembered his words after Russia.
'Because of the life that I lead, I think it's better to not be with someone that I could really care about
She remembered how he arrived to save her from the Count. That night he had told her that there was no choice to make and that he would always do what needed to be done to protect her. While she could have saved herself she could not help but feel happy that he came to her aid. The idea that she was so important to him and she was someone she cared about filled with so much warmth and giddiness. She had hoped that she was the one that he really wanted to be with and that he could really care about her.
Hope... Hope... was the reason today had caught her by surprise.
A genius IQ and yet her she was. She was so stupid, thinking Oliver could ever look at her and see someone he would consider being with her or let alone loving her the way she was.
Her shoulders shook as sobs racked her body. "Why couldn't he love me? Why not me?"
She let out a silent scream as the sorrow and agony came with the realization that all she had was an unrequited love. He would never see her as worthy of his love. She would never be enough for him.
In the back of her mind she knew that he only cared for her as a friend and nothing more. She needed to accept that and let him go so he could at least be happy.
She remembered Buffy telling her how she felt when she had to send Angel to hell in order to save the world. She knew that as broken as she felt, it did not come close to Buffy's anguish that night. Knowing that Buffy and even Angel had learned to move on from that heartbreak, she knew that if they could do it, in time she be ok.
She prayed that her heart could forget Oliver, that she would stop loving him. She no longer wanted pain and knew that if she kept on waiting for him to finally come around and choose her, heartache would be a constant companion, since he never would.
With that thought in mind, she wiped her tears, got up, opened the lights and began to prepare to go to their Manhattan HQ. She packed toiletries, her laptop, tablet, a few clothes that were suitable for slaying along with some shows. Her weapons were already concealed on her person through a spell Willow previously cast on all of them, which allowed them to summon them as needed. Xander winningly dubbed it, Willow's Highlander special.
After she took a shower, got dressed and removed any sign that she had cried, she was ready and she then entered the portal that appeared.
Stepping onto the other side of the portal, she found, Buffy and Faith who clasped her in a hug, reassuring her that she was not alone and that they would get her through this.
After they closed the Hellmouth below Sunnydale, the three of then, found that those that helped in that battle were all stronger, faster and able to heal faster. As it stood now, Buffy could take Glory and not even break a sweat. Faith and Felicity had grown almost as strong, stronger than all the other minis. Buffy, Faith and Felicity also found that they were somehow psychically connected and could sense how one another felt.
When they let go of one another, they knew that when they found the time, they would talk about what happened to Felicity and maybe veg out eating mint choco chip while helping her get over Oliver.
Looking around the room, she saw that just about everyone was present. The other Heads of the ISWC, namely Giles, Wills, Xander, Angel, Spike, Dawn and Oz were here, as were Riley, Sam, Graham, Liz, Fred, Gunn, Connor, Wesley and even Tommy, who went to her and also hugged her. Whispering in her ear Tommy held her tight. "Should we grab a shovel and visit he who will not be named?"
Being here and hearing those words from Tommy, Felicity found herself shaking her head and chuckling. "Xander Lavelle Harris, what have you done to our Tommy?"
Running to hide behind Willow, Xander finally spoke. "Sorry L, it was bound to happen, Tommy is now a Scooby."
Pouting Felicity looked to Xander. "What!?! I missed him doing the Snoopy dance?"
Huffing indignantly. "Of course not!!!"
It was at that point that Felicity found herself laughing aloud as everyone in the room promptly did the Snoopy dance just for her. She was loved, they were all together and she knew that no matter what was ahead, she would be ok and she would heal. "Ok, Please tell me someone is filming this!"
Blushing, Giles was the first to stop dancing and recover his decorum. He promptly took of his glasses and started polishing it. "Yes, now after that moment which truly did not happen and will never be spoken of, how about we figure out what we need to do, to uh, slay the uhm a big bad prophecy."
Giles surveyed the room and noted the slack jawed, stunned reaction to what he said. "Ah yes, I forgot, people who wear tweed are not supposed to understand how you youngsters talk, should I wheeze, hee haw and cough instead?"
Buffy then chose to spare her adoptive father from the spotlight and gathered everyone's attention. They had quite a war ahead but seeing everyone present, she knew that if anyone could face it and win, it would be them. "Let's allow Giles to get with the xplainy so we can sort this out and be of the good."
A/N- Already working on chapter 3