Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Stargate: SG-1 and CSI: Crime Scene Investigation are copyright and not created or owned by me. References to characters, episodes and all other intellectual property related to these shows below are made for entertainment only and I do not profit from it in any way.
Note: The below is primarily an experiment in conveying exposition while introducing a 'cast'. This may eventually turn into a series of one-shots but is currently complete.
There was silence for a few moments.
"Don't you want to know why we brought you here?" General Hammond asked finally.
"I assumed it was another apocalypse. Is it not? Oh...am I in trouble!?" Buffy started to look increasingly worried. "Because if it's about the big sinkhole, technically I didn't cause
it. Who expects a medallion to wipe out a city?" She looked beseechingly at the man in uniform.
"No you were right the first time. It's an apocalypse." He conceded.
"Oh." Buffy relaxed. "So who's causing it now?"
"An alien race known as the Goa'uld." Teal'c explained to Greg.
"Aliens?? Awesome! Except for the killing all humanity part." He enthused. "I told
Warrick. You've chosen the right man. We'll defeat them with science! Have you tried giving them the flu yet?"
Tea'lc considered the young man's words for a moment. "Technically, we did not choose you."
"You were chosen by another alien race with superior technology to our own." Sam Carter shared with Tara. The Wiccan looked a little skeptical.
"Not to seem ungrateful for...being chosen...but I was insane through most of the last Attempt to Destroy the World. I don't really see how I can help prevent an alien invasion."
It was to her credit, Sam decided, that Tara stated this in a questioning tone that suggested she was willing to be contradicted.
"We've investigated you all extensively, and for the most part we have no idea." Sam admitted candidly. "However, there is at least one thing we'd like your help with. I'm told you can see auras?"
"No offence," Sara Sidle began, "but that's bull. There's a thousand CSIs out there with a degree in Physics. They must have had other reasons to choose me...us."
"You're going to be a special kind of pain in my ass, aren't you?" Jack O'Neill sighed, despairing at the thought of another nerd on the team.
"Probably." Sara smiled a little.
"I'm aware you've had some trouble in the past with the government..."
"Trouble doesn't even begin to cover it." Faith pointed out emphatically. "And you want me to hang out with a bunch of cops and military??"
"CSIs." General Hammond corrected. "And Air Force. Yes."
"Air Force, huh?" Catherine Willows face acquired a predatory look as she gave Daniel the once-over. "Always did love a man in uniform." She smiled as he squirmed a little, before leaning back in her chair.
"And what exactly am I meant to do with my daughter? Do you have alien baby-sitters as well as alien seers and alien enemies?"
"I can't just up and leave - what about my girlfriend?" Willow asked worriedly. "Oh, wait...should I not say that? Can you get dishonorably discharged from an army you didn't actually join?"
General Hammond was starting to long for the headache he had thought was painful when it began that morning. The monster it had turned into put such humble beginnings to shame.
"As it stands, we're asking you to be a 'civilian consultant' to the Air Force. There are no rules you need worry about regarding relationships in that capacity. Your girlfriend would, of course, be welcome to stay in the housing we provide outside the base."
"I have a variety of unusual pets." Grissom stated. "Would that pose a problem for the housing arrangements?"
Sam Carter seemed slightly confused by the supervisor's almost total lack of reaction to any of the more shocking news she had imparted, and this final area of concern had her baffled.
"Sure." She said. "No problem." She waited for the real questions to begin. Grissom just nodded in satisfaction.
"I wouldn't be required to...share
with anyone?" Giles looked at Jack O'Neill suspiciously, remembering the horrors of cohabiting in the Summers household for the last few months.
"No...?" Jack answered, not seeing the relevance.
"Then I'm in." Giles sighed in relief.
"You're aware it could be very dangerous..." O'Neill had to give the standard lecture.
Giles waved a hand dismissively.
"Danger is my middle name!" Xander proclaimed. "Or, would be if I had loving parents. As it stands, you probably have my real middle name in that folder you keep looking at, and I'd appreciate it if you wrote me up a non-disclosure form, like all the ones I just signed, to give to anyone who sees it."
Teal'c nodded gravely.
"You're telling me I get to be secret-agent man but I can't brag about it to the ladies?" Nick unknowingly voiced the same concerns as many secret operatives before him. His ladies-man routine was undermined, however, by the warm humour in his voice. Sam grinned a little.
"Sorry Mr Stokes. If it helps, all your team members are being given the same information with the same restrictions."
"Aliens? Goddamn. I owe Greg 50 bucks." Warrick grumbled after having the whole thing laid out for him. "Oh!" He brightened a little. "At least I win my 'no hot chicks in the army' argument with Nick." He thought back to the blonde in BDUs he had seen earlier.
Daniel cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Well technically this is the Air Force." He explained.