Author's note: this story begins post-season seven for Buffy and early season five for Gilmore Girls. Ignores the comics. I do not own these shows. Do not sue me for using them. Please?
Back by popular demand, I present the sequel to “Coffee and Convalescence”! While it will make some sense if you haven’t read it, it will be better if you have.
Keep an eye out for the next instalment in this series, “Null and Void”, which will be coming soon to a screen near you.
Thanks to proofreader for giving me the idea for this.
“Aw, c’mon Xan.” Rory said. “They’re my favourite band, and they’re playing in New York. How can I not go?”
“Uh, I don’t know. Don’t you have university work to do?” Xander said, struggling to come up with a reasonable reason. “Yeah, that works. You're at Yale, you should probably work.”
“Seriously? Xander, have you even met
me? If I had too much work to do, do you really think that I would ask you to go with me?” Rory asked. “If you don’t want to go, just say so.”
“Well, I do need to supervise the builders. If we want the convalescence home to ever get finished, that is.” Xander suggested weakly.
“You’ve got Slayers and Watchers building it. It’ll probably be the fastest-built building ever. I’ll be surprised if it’s not done by Halloween.”
“Yeah, but the Watchers aren’t that much of a help, magic doesn’t seem to work quite as it should here…” Xander trailed off as he saw his girlfriend’s expression.
“So you don’t want to go. That’s fine.” Rory pouted.
Xander sighed. “It’s not that I don’t want to go with you. I would love to go and see… whatever obscure band it is that you want to see. But I just know that the moment I enter New York, vampires are going to attack the Mayor or something, I’ll be drafted in and then you’ll have to go and see them all by yourself. Because that’s what always happens, and I'm retired now.”
Rory tilted her head. “Why didn’t you just tell me that? That actually makes sense.”
Xander rubbed his chest with one hand and gestured inarticulately with the other. “Oh, you know, there was that time when you nearly turned into a vampire. I thought you’d probably prefer if I didn’t mention it. Also, you may be the only girlfriend in the universe who thinks that not wanting to get involved in an apocalypse is a good reason not to take you to New York City.”
Rory stepped in close. “I’ll tell you what.” She murmured. “Why don’t we go, and if the Council asks you for help you can tell them to stuff it?”
“See, it sounds so reasonable when you put it like that.” Xander complained.
“Well, I am a very reasonable person.” Rory said.
Xander gave an exasperated sigh. “Fine! But if your band turns out to be demons intent on causing the apocalypse, I reserve the right to say I told you so.”
Rory nodded. “Sounds fair.”
Sometime later, Lorelai came down to see Xander. “Hey, Xander.”
“Morning, Coffee Guzzler.” Xander said cheerfully, hoisting a joist over one shoulder.
Lorelai smiled slightly. “So, I just wanted to talk to you about you and Rory going to New York tomorrow.”
Xander groaned. “Please tell me that you're not going to do the responsible parent thing and tell me she can’t go, are you? I just had Rory convince me at great and not unpleasant length to take her.”
“When have you ever known me to be a reasonable parent?” Lorelai pointed out.
Xander gave that some thought. It took him a while to come up with an answer. “Well, there was that one time when you told me to have Rory back by midnight…”
“I was joking about that.”
“So you didn’t mind that Rory was out with her boyfriend late into the night?” Xander said incredulously. “You’ve got to be, like, the most relaxed parent ever.”
Lorelai shrugged. “Well, if I can't trust Valley Jesus, who can I trust?”
“Good point. So you’re not going to warn me off, then?”
“Nah. I just came down to tell you to have fun.”
“You came all the way over here to tell me that?”
“Well, that and to watch you wave bits of wood around.” Lorelai gestured at the joist over Xander shoulder. “It’s fun.”
Xander snorted. “You’re weird.”
Lorelai struck a pose. “Yeah, but you love me anyway.”
“I’m not touching that with a ten foot pole.” Xander said. “I’m dating your daughter. I'd think she might take it amiss if professed my love for her mother.”
“Nah. Rory’s cool.”
Xander shook his head, as though to clear it. “Wow. My mind went to all sorts of places just now.”
As it turned out, no demons decided to go on a rampage in New York that night. The vampires didn’t launch an all-out assault on the Slayer school there. Rory and Xander managed to watch the band without a single supernatural interruption.
It wasn’t until they left and were walking around that someone streaked past them, chased by a small group of other people, who, after dashing past the couple, literally skidded to a halt.
“Xander?” the redheaded leader said in surprise. “What are you doing in New York?”
Xander sighed. “Hi, Vi. I’m just here with my girlfriend for a concert. Rory, this is Vi. She was one of the potentials from Sunnydale. Vi, this is Rory, my girlfriend.”
“Hi.” Vi said. “Xander-“
“Bet you a dollar she’s going to ask for my help.” Xander interrupted. “Bet you.”
“-would you mind lending us a hand?” Vi finished.
“Told you.” Xander said smugly. “This always happens.”
“Do you see me disagreeing with you?” Rory said.
“So, what’s the sitch?”
“Vamp got into the school. Wandered in on Andrew in the shower, said 'Wstfgl', and hasn’t stopped running since.” Vi said matter-of-factly. A Slayer behind her sniggered.
Xander cocked his head. “Who invited it in?” If he focused on the business at hand, maybe he wouldn’t have to think about the image that had just popped into his head.
Vi shrugged. “No one’s admitting anything. That’s why we’re chasing it so hard, so we can ask it. That is, if it can even think straight after what it saw.”
Before Xander had a chance to reply, Rory said “Be wery, wery quiet. We’re hunting wampires.”
Vi snorted. “Yeah, I can really see how you two got together.”
Xander put his arm around Rory. “Yup, that’s my girl.”
“So, you up for it?” Vi asked.
Xander looked at Rory, who shrugged. “Sure, demon chasing it is.”
There was a crash a little way down the street. “Actually,” Vi said “I think we’ve got this covered. Sounds like one of our other groups just caught him.”
“Sufferin’ succotash, Vi. You must have every Slayer in the city after him.”
Vi shrugged. “We take our security seriously.”
A Slayer behind her said “It was either search or listen to Andrew go on and on about how, in an entire building full of young Slayers, the vampire walked in on him. He's not sure if we pranked him or if he should be flattered.”
Xander made a face. “Yeah, I'd avoid that too.”
Rory made a mental note to actually meet Andrew at some point.
“Well, it was nice to see you, Xan. Rory, I’m glad I finally met you. You two Looney Tunes can go and, I don’t know, make cartoons together or something.” Vi said.
“You’re dethspicable.” Xander lisped.
“Why thank you, you're too kind.” Vi said drily. “Come on, girls.”
Xander turned to Rory. “Well, that was better than I expected. I thought we’d have to go chasing vampires all across the city.”
“At least we got to go to the concert first.” Rory said.
Xander was about to suggest that they head back, when a thought struck him. “Hey, Ro-Gil? D’you want to see your first vampire? You know, that isn’t actually you.”
“Low blow, Xan, low blow.” Rory said. “You know I hate that nickname.”
“So, how about it then?”
Rory hesitated. The supernatural stuff that Xander dealt with still freaked her out. This was understandable, given what had happened to her both times that she had been directly exposed to it. But she couldn’t deny that she was curious to see what a vampire looked like in the flesh.
“Sure. Why not?”
“Well I say, I say, let’s go!” Xander said. He held out his arm to Rory, who took it.
Vi was talking quietly to the vampire, who was flanked by Slayers. Rory was struck by how normal he looked, until she realised that he wasn’t breathing, or blinking. “Great horny toads!” she muttered.
“Yeah, that sounds about right.” Xander said absently, as he listened in. “Anyway, we should go. It sounds like Vi has what she wanted.” Xander said. Which, unfortunately, was precisely nothing. The vampire hadn’t been invited in. He’d been planning on ambushing a Slayer, found a window open and taken advantage of it. He’d figured that the school wasn’t a proper house. Xander wondered what had happened. Vampires not being able to enter property was a major advantage for the Slayers. “Shall we go home?”
Rory didn’t need to be asked twice. The vampire was creepy. Besides, she didn’t really want to see Vi stake him.
As they walked down the road, Rory said “I tink I daw a vampy-cat.”
Xander laughed, and replied. "Th-th-th-that's all, folks!"