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Designated Hostages Anonymous

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This story is No. 2 in the series "Scooby Snacks". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: Characters from across the multiverse come to interdimensional support groups. Dawn Summers meets a kindred spirit.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Comics > OtherEphemeralFR1318511292516 Jun 1416 Jun 14Yes
Dawn Summers strode down the pristine, well-lit corridor of the Omniopolis, her sneakers squeaking slightly on the polished marble floor. Every so often, she passed a set of rich wooden double doors, each with a stylized plaque.

Society for the Prevention of Badass Decay

Dawn snorted. Spike would feel right at home. Not that he'd ever be caught dead admitting it.

The Yandere Affirmation Lectures

Dawn shuddered and walked passed that one as fast as she could without running.

Dark Magical Girl Lesbian Support Group

Dawn raised an eyebrow at that one and peaked inside as she walked passed. A girl dressed in shades of grey, with long black hair and a bronze shield on her arm. Another girl dressed all in black with red eyes and the most vividly golden-blonde hair Dawn had ever seen tied into twintails with black ribbon. A younger girl with shorter black hair, wearing a purple outfit that seemed to be missing a skirt. And, weirdly, a purple-haired girl in a perfectly ordinary school uniform, holding a video camera.

Glancing back curiously, Dawn walked on.

We, the Chosen One (Because we are prophecy's bitch.)

Buffy was in that one.

Lunar Appreciation Society

With a curious head-tilt, Dawn peaked into that one too, and blinked. A waifish girl with bright, silvery-blonde hair, wide eyes, radish earings, and a wand tucked behind her ear. Something that looked like a midnight blue horse with huge expressive eyes and a mane that made Dawn want to make a joke about, "My god! It's full of stars!" A pale woman with unnatural blue eyes wearing a leather catsuit. And a black cat with a golden crescent on its forehead.

Shaking her head at the strangeness, Dawn continued on.

Unwanted Harem Support Group

Dawn snorted. If most of the demons who'd seduced Xander over the years hadn't tried to kill him, he'd probably be in there now.

Secret Circle of Blonde Magical Girls With Ridiculous Hair (You mean AWESOME Hair.)

Dawn caught a glimpse of a busty young girl in a stylish hat with her hair in huge spirals, and an older girl in a blue dress with drill-shaped dreadlocks.

Designated Hostages Anonymous (With guest lectures by popular escape artists!)

Dawn stopped and sighed. Yup, she thought glumly, this was her stop.

Pushing open the door, Dawn saw a cozy room with a balcony overlooking a garden, and a large circle of comfortable-looking cushioned chairs. There was only one other person in the room. An older girl, collage age, blonde, dressed kind of like a superhero or something in a skin-tight dark blue bodysuit.

A very skin-tight bodysuit, and the superhero herself had the luscious curves and lean muscle to pull it off.

Dawn raked her eyes down the superhero's body and mentally added several marks to her Am I Bicurious? tally. "Uh, hey. I'm Dawn. Am I early?"

"Just a bit," she replied. "I'm Elissa, but I go by Emp."

Dawn smiled tentatively. "Cool."

"...and they just wouldn't stop," Emp complained. "They must have caught me a dozen times."

"And they really used you as an unwilling demonstration of their mad science bondage gear?" Dawn asked with a playful expression of disgust.

"Yeah!" Emp said. "By the time they stopped I was totally missing the real danger, which isn't like me at all, you know?"

"But come on! That whole thing totally proves that you're completely hot," Dawn told her. "I mean, you're not that easy to catch in the first place." Dawn shook her head resolutely. "They obviously thought associating their gizmos with your sexy bod was worth the effort, right?"

"I don't know..."

"I mean, the best I can say is that one time there was a vampire that wanted to make out with me before he killed me," Dawn groused. "Most of the people who tie me up don't even see me. All they care about is my sister."

"Most of the people?" asked Mary Jane Watson with mild concern.

Dawn looked away and made an awkward noise. "Uh, well, I'm dating Xander now, and sometimes we... and there was that one time he rescued me and I told him he didn't have to untie me until, um, after..."

Emp giggled and blushed. "Oh! I did the same thing with Thugboy that one time..."

"It helps, doesn't it," Dawn said sagely.

Emp nodded. "I guess it does."

By the end of the session, Dawn and Emp were getting along like a house on fire. They exchanged dimensional contact info and shared a tight hug, before heading back out into the Omniopolis to meet up with their respective friends.

"We've totally gotta hang out again," Dawn told Emp.

Emp nodded eagerly. "Absolutely. Us awesome-girls-in-distress have gotta sick together."

Dawn hugged her again.

"Bye, Emp!"

"Bye, Dawn!"

(I own none of the characters named or depicted here-in. Emp is the titular heroine of the graphic novel, Empowered. You all know who Dawn Summers is.)

(Make your guesses about who the characters in the other groups are!)

The End

You have reached the end of "Designated Hostages Anonymous". This story is complete.

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