Disclaimer: I own nothing. To prevent spoilers, a more thorough disclaimer is given at the end of this story.
Buffy never thought that her very first words shouted in heaven would be, “Put that Tommy gun down NOW!”
Or that the next thing this now-deceased Slayer heard after taking her little swan dive off Glory’s tower would in turn be…SPLURGE!
This latter peculiar noise was the sound effect of a blob of sticky custard being discharged from a rapid-firing miniature version of John Taliaferro Thompson’s famous weapon.SPLAT!
loud noise was this same fistful of thick dessert pudding sailing through the air to then making an absolutely dead-on impact against a certain Slayer’s forehead because she’d been too surprised to dodge.
Recoiling as her vision became utterly impaired by what was now covering a young woman’s entire face and commencing to drip off her chin, Buffy then stood motionless in her natural shock for a few seconds. Then, she slowly and carefully lifted up both hands to wipe away from her closed eyes what was smeared upon there.
When she was sure all the stuff was gone (from the part between her nose and eyebrows, anyway), Buffy cautiously opened her eyes, blinking several times until it felt okay. She next looked out at where all this Slayer’s recent and hopefully successful battle against a hellgoddess with the worse fashion sense ever had somehow ended only a couple of seconds before Dawn’s big sister arrived through the portal to here.Wherever
This place looked like some sort of nightclub.
Filled with children.
Who were one and all dressed in the old-fashioned style of the decade at the start of the twentieth century known as the roaring twenties.
And, finally, a lot of these kids were pointing even more funny-looking guns in Buffy’s direction. This was accompanied by them also gawking with their own total astonishment at the newest visitor to Fat Sam’s speakeasy, who’d just appeared from out of thin air right before the big gang shoot-out.
Buffy glanced up at the ceiling, to then resignedly address any possible immaterial onlooker beyond there who might be responsible for this latest bout of ridiculous Hellmouth weirdness, “You having enough fun now?”
Much later after her resurrection, Buffy could never entirely remember the specifics of where she’d gone or what’d happened there. Still, there was one thing this young woman was definitely sure about during this visit to the undiscovered country: she was happy throughout it all.
Well, of course the Slayer had been happy. Why wouldn’t she? Although when considered to its logical conclusions virtually the whole of the bizarre world consisting of nobody but children around at where she was now residing made her head hurt, yet the Los Angeles native nevertheless always loved one particular thing about this young woman’s version of heaven as presented in the 1976 British musical gangster film entitled Bugsy Malone.
Mainly, that everyone else here was shorter
than Buffy Summers.
Further Disclaimer: All Buffy the Vampire Slayer characters and Bugsy Malone characters are the property of their original owners.