Chapter the First: Zacharias Smith
Author: Leevee of Team Socket
Pairings: Noneish so far, Andrew/Dawn, and Zacharias/Susan if I feel like adding some later.
Disclaimer: Chances are, if you know it, I don’t own it. Aka, Joss and all them own the Buffy related stuff, and JKR and them own the HP related stuffs.
Distribution: Twisting the Hellmouth, Fanfiction.Net, any place that wants it (just tell me where it’s going, I like to look and preen occasionally).
Summary: Your typical ‘Scoobies have family at Hogwarts, to which they go, and hijinks ensue’ story. With Zacharias Smith and Terry Boot as the main characters. And more blatant sarcasm than you can shake a stick at.
Notes: At the end of the story, mostly.***
"Don't put your trust in revolutions. They always come around again. That's why they're called revolutions. People die, and nothing changes."
-- (Terry Pratchett, Night Watch)***
Let's try to avoid the stupid clichés, shall we? That leaves all of three plot lines available, yes, but oh effing well.
This is a story. Like any story, it starts out with a main character doing something suitably interesting and intriguing. In our case, the main character is currently unknown Hufflepuff boy, beating the hell out of a rug. Sound interesting? Then you're one weird person.
In any case, this Hufflepuff, name of Zacharias Smith, was helping his dear mum out with the spring cleaning (also, dust from the rug kept his slightly asthmatic sister at bay), when an owl decided to dive-bomb his poor, defenceless head. Of course, the bird was definitely the worst off for this exchange, he noted as he glanced down at the unconscious owl by his feet. He sighed and dusted off his hands before picking up the limp body, nose wrinkling in disgust. "Damn bird." He carried it into the house and set it on the table before opening the letter, wondering who it was from. He had already gotten his Hogwarts letter, informing him that he had gotten O's in all of his O.W.L.s (except for Astronomy, which had been a given, really). It also informed him that he had been made a Prefect, what with the previous one deciding to switch to Durmstrang.
He grinned at that. Oh, the shock on the Gryffindor's faces end of last year, when they realized there were more Death Eater children in both Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw than Slytherin, who were OBVIOUSLY the bad guys. After all, Ravenclaws hardly did anything but study, and Hufflepuff were loyal and true. It was pointed out to them then the old adage of 'Knowledge is power, power corrupts, study hard, be evil' and that 'loyal and true' didn't really say to WHOM they were loyal and true, did it?
The Slytherins, with their grand total of five kids evil enough to actually join the Death Eaters (none of whom, oddly enough, were children of the servants of the Dark Lord, but there you go), joined in with the hysterical laughter at the Gryffindor's folly (only one of whom, a boy in Zacharias' year, had strayed to the dark side of the force). Draco Malfoy had led the pack, as he had been whom the brave young lions (with the exception of the Creevey brothers and Natalie MacDonald, who instantly knew Hufflepuffs were the source of all evil, with their sinister badger-y-ness) had attacked first. He had stopped them, sneered, and said in a patronising tone of voice, "Now look, I may be a smarmy, annoying little brat, but I'm no more evil than Potter here – less evil, come to think of it." After everyone had recovered from the shock of hearing the blonde Slytherin actually use the term 'smarmy' in a sentence, they finally gave into Colin, Dennis, and Natalie's cries that the Hufflepuffs had done it.
It being, of course, the mass exodus of vampires, demons, Dementors, Death Eaters, and general badness to Hogwarts, coupled with the disappearance of all the adults (including half the seventh years, but it turned out they had just gotten drunk on some firewhiskey and had wandered into an unusually large Vanishing Cabinet).
That had been an interesting experience, Zacharias thought in tones of remembrance. Dodging curses from most of the Gryffindor section of the D.A., as Malfoy sat back and smirked at him, refusing to inform Harry and the Potters that although over half of Hufflepuff had been involved in the plot, not ALL of them were. Damn snarky bastard.
Anyway, that all led us to the fact that Zacharias Smith Has Gotten a Letter, And Has No Idea Who It Is From. So he opened it. Smartest thing to do, really, considering the mystery surrounding the letter and the psychopathic bird. Which had begun to move. He sighed, got up, and grabbed a box of 'Owl Treats! Now with new and improved flavour!' He wondered, for a moment, how exactly they had known that, and shook his head. Whatever.
He tossed some at the owl, who hooted a thank you, gobbled them up, and promptly flew through the kitchen window – thankfully an open one. "Suppose that means I don't need to answer this letter," he thought to himself aloud before tearing into the letter.
It was short, simple, concise, to-the-point, and many other adjectives that describe the compactness of the message. It was still too much, far, far too much. He groaned. "If someone had asked me this morning what the absolute WORST thing in the world that could happen to me was, this wouldn't have even crossed my mind, for it is too horrible to contemplate..." he muttered woefully. "Uncle Giles is coming to Hogwarts."
And so he was. Rupert Giles, Watcher to the longest lived Slayer (although, not the longest continuously living Slayer, that particular honour went to... no one, as the longest continuously living Slayer didn't technically have a Watcher at the moment...) would be travelling to Hogwarts, Slayers and assorted others in tow, in order to start a new Watcher's Council (the old one, it seemed, had gone kablooey) and create a 'Slayer's Academy'. Or something. It didn't really matter why he was coming, it just mattered that He Was Coming. Zacharias stared morosely at the letter and resisted the urge to whine like a kicked puppy.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the country (don't ask where, just be well- assured that it was pretty far away), Colin Creevey received a similar letter – well, similar in contents, in any case. The actual letter was sloppy and rambling and half had been written upside down, it seemed. And, of course, the signature was different. But in a roundabout, twisting way, each word oozing with excitement (literally, there was some dripping onto his shoes – maybe it wasn't excitement, in that case...), it detailed basically the same plan, and was signed with a sloppy and rushed 'Andrew'.
"I better tell Den-" Colin paused, and glanced about. Where WAS Dennis, anyway? With a flash he remembered, Dennis was off visiting his friend Rushton at his house. Oh well. He'd tell him about Andrew later, when he would be changing Dennis' hair colour back to brown and getting rid of any extra limbs he had acquired at Rush's house (Rush's father worked for the Experimental Charms division, and his older brother had a habit of creating charms and potions to wreak havoc with the Ministry. The only normal member of the family was Elspeth, Rush's older sister, and she was lawyer, so...).
Also at that time, Hermione Granger got a letter. So she scribbled back a message to inform Ron that her summer was going just as well, and that she could meet him, Harry, and Ginny at Diagon Alley next week.
Got you there, didn't I? Ha.***
Author’s Note: Expect a departure from the Buffy canon as far as ‘Buffy and Dawn go to Rome’ goes, I figured that I can write them better than some others, so they’re going along with Giles and the new Slayers.
Outside of Damage, there shouldn’t be any continuity errors with the Angel side of things, as I don’t see a need to pull them into it (they’ve got enough problems, I’m sure). Buffy is all canon too, much as I dislike my Jonathan being dead. Why, even HPverse is canon through OotP, shockingly enough!
Wishing luck and badgers,
Leevee of Team Socket