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The Strange Strategy of Slytherin Friendship

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Summary: Blaise Zabini and Draco Malfoy have a somewhat bizarre friendship. (20 minute Blaise)

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Harry Potter > Non-BtVS/AtS Stories > Theme: ComedyechoFR1511,198182,9313 Apr 043 Apr 04Yes
title: The Strange Strategy of Slytherin Friendship
author: echo
rating: 15 (because Blaise talks naughty)
disclaimer: Not mine. Blaise, Draco, and the Slytherins belong to JK Rowling... but if she'd like to lend me Blaise or Draco when they grow up, I'd take them.
summary: Blaise Zabini and Draco Malfoy have a somewhat bizarre friendship.
challenge: 20 minute Blaise. I *finally* got the chance to write it.
note: The relationship in this ficlet is a bit like the one in "I Have Never...", but you don't have to read that one to get what's going on here.


"Hello, sweetheart."

Malfoy rolled his eyes. "Do you mind?"

Delightful. He was annoyed already. This was far too easy. Like hexing fish in a barrel.

"Not in the least." Blaise quipped.

"Go away, Zabini. I am not in the mood-"

"Oh... princess-"

"For your bullshit tonight."

"That's rather unfortunate for you, princess."

"I really wish you wouldn't call me that."

"And I really wish you'd allow me to seduce you, but, alas...."

Draco glared. If he didn't adore Blaise so much, he'd hex the everlasting piss out of him for his tendency to be perverse and revel in innuendo.

"Best night of your life, Malfoy."

"Somehow I doubt that... pervert. You will one day have to accept the fact that I do not fancy you, Zabini."

Blaise chuckled and dropped onto the couch by the fire in the Slytherin common room. The one he and Malfoy had claimed as their own. They studied on it. They lounged on it. It didn't actually have their names on it, but it might as well have. It was fine to use when neither of them were about, but if they showed, you left.

He toed off his shoes and wiggled his toes, trying to get the sweat that had made his wool socks stick to his feet... be less sticky. His feet sweat a lot. It never bothered Malfoy. Blaise suspected half the reason the two of them had become friends was that Malfoy never seemed repulsed by his foot sweat, and Zabini could take the prat's temper and incessant whining about Potter.

"You want a foot rub?" Draco asked without looking up from his potions text.



Blaise quite remembered last time. The little blonde shit had painfully cracked all his toes and then used the leverage of his feet being up to dump him on the floor. "No."

Draco chuckled. Blaise inched closer on the couch. Draco eyed him suspiciously then went back to reading. Blaise moved closer still.

"Keep your distance, pervert."

"But you look so sexy tonight, Malfoy." He said loudly.

A few of the first years gasped and ran past them. Blaise laughed gleefully. It was just a game. He loved Draco, but he didn't LOVE Draco. Or lust or anything. This was just something they did. There wasn't anything behind it. They horsed around. They had an odd relationship. It made others uncomfortable. That was half the fun. Blaise was fairly confident that no one outside himself and Malfoy understood the nature of their relationship. He wasn't even certain either of them understood it fully.

He eased his leg up and nudged Malfoy's book with his socked foot.

"Stop that."

"Mal-foy." Blaise whined and nudged the book again.

"You had better stop it, Zabini, or you will be a VERY sorry little chap."

"There's nothing little about me, Malfoy. You'd know that if you'd let me seduce you. A good buggering might make you less tense." Blaise wiggled his toes along the top edge of Draco's book. "I could make you forget all about that Harry Potter."

"I... am... warning... you."

"Oh, he's warning me. Look out!" The book was nudged yet again. "Look out!" Nudge. "Look out!" Nudge. "Look-"

The book was tossed aside, and Blaise was tackled to the floor with a harsh thud.

"Ow!" Then he started laughing.

Malfoy had decided to forgo the use of his wand for slapping Blaise about the head like a ten year old muggle girl engaging in a sissy fight.

"Oh Malfoy! Yes!"

"Stop that, you perv!"

Draco was trying to get off of Blaise, but Blaise had enough of a grip on the right parts of Draco's robes the he couldn't get any leverage and kept slipping back down onto the other boy's chest. Blaise laughed maniacally. He noticed Pansy Parkinson was eyeing them with interest and a fair amount of jealousy.

And Blaise got one of his bad ideas. His bad ideas often lived in infamy for years.

Draco had been trying to show the little witch he wasn't interested for months. She wasn't taking the hints. Hints.... try anvils. Well, Blaise decided he'd help the cause.

He grabbed Draco by the ears, causing the other boy to shout in pain. Then while Draco's mouth was open, Blaise used his grip on the blonde's head to yank Draco to his mouth for a nice, wet, lickory kiss.

Draco instantly started struggling. He bit Blaise on the bottom lip, drawing blood. Blaise winced and grunted softly in pain.

"Will you stop it." He hissed. "Pansy's watching us, you git. This could get her off your back for sure. Play along."

"Next time..." Draco snarled quietly as he rolled them across the floor, pulling Blaise on top of him. "Let me know the plan, you stupid prat, and we can avoid unpleasant biting incidents."

"Who said it was unpleasant?" Blaise purred, then licked the blood off of his bottom lip.

"You're disgusting."

"You know you love that about me."

Draco rolled his eyes.

Pansy made a huffing noise and stormed off in the general direction of the girls' dorms.

Blaise exchanged a look with Draco. The both of them started laughing.

"Get off me."

Blaise laughed louder.

"I'm serious, Zabini. Let me up. Go bug someone else. I have homework to do."

Blaise snorted. "You know you're the one I want to bug, Malfoy." Blaise said as he got to his feet and pulled Malfoy to his.

"Yes. I am all too aware of that sad fact. Run along anyhow, sexual deviant."

"Oh Malfoy. I love it when you call me sexual deviant... like you EVEN know what sexual deviancy is."

"Go. Away." Draco gritted through his extraordinarily white teeth.

"Only because you asked so nicely, sweetheart." He reached around and patted Draco on the arse.

For which he got a fist to the chest that properly winded him. For being a pureblood, Malfoy sure packed quite the punch when he did use his fists.

"One of these days I am going to kill you." Draco said in the voice that let Blaise know he was one word shy of losing his Lucius-alicious temper completely.

Blaise yanked Draco up against him and licked the side of Draco's face. "Only if we're having sex when you do."

He was backhanded so hard he nearly lost his footing. Draco's eyes blazed at him like two silver flames.

"Piss. Off." Draco hissed.

Blaise held up his hands. "Pissing off now."

He left the Slytherin prince to his studying finally. Not that he'd get much done until he could get that Malfoy temper back in check. Blaise headed for his dorm room chuckling slightly. He paused at the stairs to look at Draco over his shoulder. Malfoy was glaring at him over the top edge of his potions text. Blaise blew him a kiss. Draco rolled his eyes then smirked.

It was just a game they played.



The End

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