Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy or the X-Files
Note: This story was going to be humor. It kind of got away from me. It's amazing how a story can change in just 20 min.
So, I died. That was unexpected. Well, I mean, I knew I would die eventually. After all, I chose to become human again. But, I had hoped that I would live through the battle with the first. I died bravely, but I still died.
I miss Xander. I miss the Magic Box. I miss making money. I miss orgasms. People say that when you die you go off to a better place. That's a lie. Being dead sucks. It's boring. There's no sex, there's no capitalism. There isn't really anything.
Every once in a while I see others. Most of the time I'm on my own. But occasionally other people stop by. I actually met a guy I kind of like. I don't know what that means between two dead people. I just know that I have the feelings for him, the kind of feelings I had when I was first getting to know my Xander.
His name is Alex. He just appeared one day, out of the vast whiteness that now makes up my existence. He got shot. Right in the head. It happened a few years before I died. He was killed in a parking garage. Not exactly prestigious, but I guess I can't judge. I died in a high school.
He claims that he lived a very bad life. He killed people, he participated in a vast government conspiracy, that kind of thing. I told him that I wasn't exactly a good person either. I explained about being a vengeance demon for over 1000 years. I guess in the end I started living a good life. But I don't know if it counts.
Maybe that's why I'm here. Maybe people like Alex and I are stuck in this sort of blank emptiness because we led bad lives. Maybe if I hadn't done all those vengeance spells I'd be in heaven right now. I know there's a heaven. Buffy was there.
I know she was a slayer. I know she did all sorts of great things and saved the world a lot. But she was also a bitch. How come she gets to go to heaven, and I don't? I helped save the world too. I don't think that I was a bad person. So, why am I stuck here? Why is Alex stuck here?
I like it when Alex comes. I don't have a real sense of time here. So I don't know how often he comes. But he's visited several times. We talk for long periods of time. About anything, about everything. But it's not enough. The time I spend with him can't make up for the time I spend alone.
He doesn't deserve this. He says he did bad things. He says that he belongs here. But he doesn't. No one deserves this. If there's anything that life in Sunnydale taught me, it's that people need companionship. They need to be surrounded by loved ones. That doesn't change once you die. I just want to know why I'm stuck here. I want to know what I did to deserve this punishment. I want to go back to earth, or I want to go on to heaven. But instead I'm in this nothingness.
Some human once said that hell is other people. I heard Giles say it once. But it isn't true. Hell is being alone. And knowing that you might be alone for all of eternity.