My True Destiny
Disclaimers: The only thing that belongs to be is the plot. The rest belongs to Joss Whedon and crew.
Spoilers: Up to Season 7 of BtVS. It’s mostly AU. You don’t need to have seen everything. As long as you know who the main characters are, you’re fine.
A/N: Angel is Spike’s Sire.
Feedback: Please! I crave it like coffee!
Willow looked around her hotel room. ‘Is this really how my life was supposed to turn out? Was this all that I was meant to do? Call all the slayers, train them, be a Wiccan, and let people leave? Is that all I’m good for? Every one leaves me. Oz left me. Tara left me. Kennedy left me. Spike left me. No. Spike was never mine to begin with. He was Buffy’s. He always would be Buffy’s.’ Willow looked around the room her eyes landing on the circle she had drawn on the floor. ‘This spell should show me what I was meant to have, or will have... I’m really not sure...’ She walked to the center of the circle and sat down. ‘Here goes nothing.’ She thought as she grabbed her mix of herbs and began to chant.
Willow groggily woke up. ‘What happened?’ She asked herself sitting up. ‘Did the spell work?’ She looked around. ‘This is definitely not my hotel room.’ She was sitting on a large four-poster bed with white silk sheets. She was wearing a flowing white dress. She felt nauseous but wasn’t sure why. She looked to her left. There was a large open window with white curtains billowing in the spring breeze.
Suddenly a little girl no older than three with long red hair and blue eyes burst into the room. Seeing that Willow was awake, she twirled around in her pink dress and ran straight at Willow. “Mummy!” She cried jumping up on the bed to sit next to Willow throwing her arms around Willow’s neck. “Daddy said we couldn’t wake you up.”
“Listen little girl, I don’t know who you are.” Willow began starting to feel nervous. ‘Okay, something definitely went wrong here.’
A little boy ran into the room. He looked just like the little girl except that he was a boy and his hair was a dark auburn color. He stopped, looked at the little girl and turned and stepped back out into the hallway. “Daddy! Jen woke up Mummy!” He yelled.
“No, I didn’t!” Jen jumped off the bed and ran to stand next to the boy just as Spike ran into the room. “Jen, what did I tell you.” Spike said threatingly.
“I didn’t wake her up, Daddy. Willie just said that I did.” She stuck her tongue out at her brother.
“You did wake her up.”
“Spike?” Willow asked softly from across the room causing the children to stop bickering. Spike had a strange look in his eyes when she said his name.
“Yes, luv?” He asked walking to her side and taking her hands in both of his own.
“They didn’t wake me up.” Willow said softly. She had no idea what was going on, but she knew there were some important things going on that she was over looking. “Spike-” She began but was stopped by Spike who dropped her hands and turned to the children. “Willie, Jen, go get Grandpa.”
They started out the door, but stopped. “Grandpa Giles?” Willie asked turning around.
“Yes, go tell him your mummy woke up.”
“Okay.” Willie said grabbing Jen’s hand as they walked towards the door. Willow swore she heard Jen whisper, “Why is Mummy calling Daddy Spike?” Willie shrugged and they continued out the door.
Spike followed them, closing the door behind them after they left. Then he turned to Willow. “Alright, Red, they’re gone, what’s going on?” He asked her his blue eyes full of concern.
“Wh-what do you m-mean?” Willow asked looking down at her hands. There was so much to digest. This world was so different from her own. The spell didn’t work like it was supposed to Willow knew that much, but everything else was fuzzy. Plus, she was still feeling nauseous.
Spike sat on the bed facing Willow and took her hands in his again. “Willow.” He said in a your-not-fooling-me-voice.
Willow looked up at Spike. Something was bugging her about the situation but she couldn’t think of what. The obvious ‘he died for Buffy, why is he looking at me like he’s in love with me?’ was going through her head. But ‘this feels so right, like this happens all the time’ was also running through Willow’s head. “I did a spell, and it went wrong.” She admitted hanging her head again. He lifted her chin. “Willow you know your not supposed to do magic when-”
Willow stopped him mid-lecture and looked at her hand at the large gold and diamond wedding band that was sparkling in the sun. “We’re married?” Willow asked randomly.
Spike looked at Willow confused. “Baby, we’ve been married for four years.”
“And you’re alive.” She stated shocked realizing that he was in sunlight and not burning.
“For six years.”
“And those are our kids?”
“Willow.” He said stopping her. “What kind of spell did you do? You know very well that you’re not supposed to do spells while you’re pregnant, and yet you were comatose for nearly three days.”
“Pregnant?” Willow looked down at her very pregnant stomach. ‘Why didn’t I notice that right away? It explains why I feel so damn nauseous.’
“You have been for seven months. Willow?” He asked. “What’s going on?”
“I can’t remember.” Willow sobbed. Spike gathered Willow awkwardly into his arms. Willow laid her head on his chest and sobbed. Spike rocked her back and forth whispering soothing words. ‘Why does this feel so right?’ Willow asked herself. In Spike’s arms she felt whole and she never wanted to leave his embrace and lose this feeling. “Everything feels all woozy and fuzzy.” Willow explained. “Like I woke up from a dream, but I can’t remember anything, but what was in the dream.”
“What was the dream about?” Spike asked soothingly.
“It’s getting fuzzy, but it didn’t feel right there. Things were the same, but they were different. You died.” Willow softly said. “You died, and for some reason I felt like I died to.” Willow admitted more to herself than to Spike.
Before Spike could respond Giles burst into the room. “William, what’s going on? The children said something about Willow acting like Auntie Drusilla. When did they see Drusilla?” Giles asked, but stopped when he saw Willow. “Willow, my dear, you’re awake, who are you feeling?”
“She lost her memory.” Spike informed Giles.
“Spike.” Willow whined. ‘How could he just openly tell Giles what she had just confided to him.
“Spell?” Giles asked ignoring Willow’s whine.
“Yes.” Spike ground out and Willow could tell he was angry.
“I’m sorry.” Willow said burying her head into Spike’s shoulder again.
“Shh, baby, it’s okay.”
“Dear Lord.” Giles said with a sharp intake of air.
Spike looked up at Giles. “Like I said, Dad, she lost her memory.”
“An effect of unknowingly opening an alternate dimension?” Giles asked Spike.
“I believe so.”
“I’ll call a research session. I’ll tell them what’s going on.” Giles began to leave.
“Thanks Dad.” Spike called after Giles, who turned, smiled, and then went on his way.
Spike looked down at Willow who was deep in thought. ‘Why did Spike call Giles ‘Dad?’ I mean there was the time when Spike was Randy, when they all lost their memories and he thought Giles was his dad, but that wouldn’t make sense here... They both look younger too... Spike looks more like he’s in his early twenties, than the late twenty-eight-ishness he normally looks like.
“Baby, you’re thinking too loud.” Spike commented interrupting Willow’s thoughts.
“Sorry.” Willow looked up at him sheepishly. “I just feel bad making Giles and them do all the research while I just sit up here.
“Willow, you’re due any day now. You’re not allowed any type of stress.” Spike kissed the top of Willow’s head. She sighed. “Can we at least go down to where they’re researching? I can’t sit up here doing nothing.”
“Sure thing, pet, we can go down to the sun room.” Spike helped Willow to the floor and then stood up, and took her arm, leading her out of the room. Spike guided Willow through the long hallway. “Where are we?” She asked softly.
“The mansion.” He answered automatically.
Willow understood why he answered so quickly. He was used to going through Drusilla’s sane and insane moments. Suddenly Willow stopped as something came over her. Spike stopped as well and looked at him. “I’m not turning into Drusilla, William.” Willow said as though she was reading Spike’s mind. She wasn’t thinking the words, they just came out. “Don’t worry, baby. I am not her and never will be. This is just an effect of the spell, I hope. Once they figure out what’s wrong, everything will go back to normal. You are not going to have to live that life again.” Without thinking Willow kissed Spike softly on the lips, starting to pull away, but stopping when he deepened the kiss. As quickly as her bout of sanity came, it faded and Willow pulled away, quickly, and took a step backwards.
“Sorry, I... Don’t know what’ happening... I just... It felt so right...” Willow babbled incoherently.
‘This is killing her.’ Spike thought to himself. ‘Being here, but not knowing what’s going on.’ Spike pulled her into his arms again. “Shh, Luv,” Spike said as Willow rested her head against his chest. “You are not going to turn into Dru. Dad will work his magic, and everything will be fine.” Willow nodded still wondering why Spike kept calling Giles ‘Dad’ but too afraid to ask.
Once again, Spike led her down the hall. Stopping when they came to the stairs. “Just, Dad, Faith, and the kids. Think you can handle it?” Spike asked as he looked down into the sunroom. Willow nodded mutely. And unknowingly wrapped her arm around Spike’s waist as he helped her waddle down the stairs. When they reached the bottom, a five-year-old boy with spiked brown hair greeted them.
“Hi, Will!” He said enthusiastically, hugging Spike around the middle. “Mom made lunch. She says you need to eat before there’s nothing left except skin and bones.” The little boy turned to Willow. “Hi, Sissy Willow.” He said almost shyly and then ran over to where Willie and Jen were playing with Faith.
“Who was that?” Willow asked softly.
“My brother Travis.”
Willow nodded, and then looked in wonder as Jenny Calendar walked out of the kitchen, and placed a tray on the table, Giles was sitting at.
“Miss Calendar?” Willow breathed. ‘She was dead, but then again, so was Spike.’
“Willow, dear, how many times must I asked you to call me Jenny, or at least Mom, so little Jenny doesn’t get confused.” Jenny smiled and hugged Willow. Then she turned to face Spike. “William, you haven’t eaten in three days. Willow’s awake. That means you must eat.” She put her hands on her hips. “Yes, Mother.” He responded almost automatically, and rolled his eyes. “I saw that.” Jenny Giles said turning away. Willow giggled, still not entirely sure of what was going on, but not really minding any more.
Spike led Willow to a couch near the table and helped her sit down. Then he walked to the table and grabbed two sandwiches off the tray his mother had set on the table, handing one to Willow and biting into the other one. Jenny Giles nodded in approval causing Willow to laugh again.
Just then Travis ran back into the room. “Will.” He said tugging on Spike’s hand. “Auntie Faith is letting Jen and Willie sp-sp-fight again.”
“If she’s watching them, it’s okay, Travis.”
“But she’s letting them uses stakes.”
“Faith!” Spike yelled letting Travis lead him to where Faith was. “How many times have I asked you not to do that!” He said using his ‘father’ voice again.
Giles took his glasses off and pinched the bridge of his nose. “You would think they were brother and sister.” Giles mumbled. Jenny and Willow both laughed.
Minutes later, Faith came into the sunroom, looking pissed off, but happy at the same time. She was carrying a box. “Red, babe, you’re awake.” She set the box next to Willow. She gave Willow a small hug then stood up. “I took out your memory box. Hope it helps. Now, I gotta go teach that husband of yours the really way to teach the kids to spar.” Faith gave Willow a wink and then went off in the direction Spike had gone in.
Willow thought it was weird that no one cared if the children spared or not. Then, again, it was the hell mouth and stranger things have happened. She opened the box Faith had given her. Sitting at the top was her senior yearbook. She lifted it out, running her fingers over the numbers 1999. She set it down next to her.
She went back to the box. Now, a folded piece of paper sat at the top. Willow pulled it out and unfolded it. Elegant writing filled the page. “Willow, my love,” She read. “You are the pure essence of beauty. You are the sun of the evening. You light up even the darkness of night. Dearest Red, we will meet again when day and night meet.” Willow dropped the note. It wasn’t signed, but she knew with out a doubt who it was from.
She looked over at Spike who had just entered the sunroom. Over one shoulder hung Will; Jen was swung over the other. He was teetering drunkenly while the children laughed. Giles looked up from his book. “William, do you realize how dangerous that is? I’m not trying to tell you how be a father, just put them down now!” Giles practically yelled at Spike. The children stopped giggling.
“Fine, Dad.” He smirked and dropped both children into Giles’s lap.
“William!” Giles roared, as Spike ran off both children following him giggling.
Willow looked back at the note, suddenly remembering.
*Six years ago*Willow stared out at the dance floor as Xander ‘danced.’ Honestly it looked more like the snoopy dance, but Willow was enthralled nevertheless. ‘Sigh. Doesn’t he know what he’s doing to me?’ Willow couldn’t wait for Buffy to get here. She wanted anything to distract her from longing after what was not hers.
Just then, the most beautiful creature Willow had ever seen walked into the Bronze. He had slicked back bleach blonde hair, blue eyes, and very high cheekbones. He wore black jeans, a black t-shirt, and a black leather duster. All thoughts of Xander were gone. Willow couldn’t take her eyes off of this mystery guy.
As Spike walked into the Bronze, looking at all his dinner options. ‘Hmm... Too old. Too fat... Too skinny... Too ugly.’ Suddenly his eyes landed on a teenage girl who looked to be about 17. She had flaming red hair. She was dressed in some fuzzy material. ‘I can over look that though. Bloody ‘ell. She looks like she’s the one looking for dinner.’ Spike stalked over to her.
‘Oh my God. He’s coming over here.’ Willow thought quickly turning away, pretending to watch the dance floor.
“Hello, luv.” Spike said cockily, placing a hand on Willow’s shoulder. As soon as he touched her, a shock ran through his body and he quickly withdrew his hand. Willow spun around, also feeling the electric shock.
‘Bloody ‘ell. What the fuck was that?’ Spike stared at the girl.
‘Okay, that wasn’t normal right?’ Willow racked her brain for possible answers.
‘Cor, she’s bloody gorgeous.’
‘He’s so pretty.’
All thoughts of killing the girl left Spike’s mind. He only knew that he had to have this girl as his. “Would you like to dance, luv?” The invitation slipped from his lips.
Willow took a small step back. “I don’t know who you are.” She said shyly looking at the floor.
‘Why is she making me act like such a poof?’ “I’m Spike.” He held out his hand.
“Willow.” She said taking his hand and letting him lead her out onto the dance floor. She could feel the shock running through both of their hands, but neither said anything about it, nor removed their hand. All shy thoughts left Willow’s head, and she knew that she could be who she wanted to be in front of him and no one would judge her. She didn’t even blush as a slow song came on and he placed his hands on her waist. Willow just wrapped her arms around his neck.
Slowly and sensually they moved together on the dance floor. All who were watching envied the couple wishing that they too could be loved like that.
When the song ended, Spike pulled Willow into a dark corner of the club. An area Willow knew no one even dared go to. She felt odd, like she had known Spike forever and she somehow knew that he felt the same way.
Spike pushed Willow against the wall, and faced her. “So beautiful.” He mumbled as he kissed her. Willow opened her mouth in surprise, allowing Spike access to her mouth. Their tongues dueled, intertwining with each other. Willow moaned into Spike’s mouth. She had never dreamed of being kissed like this before.
Willow moaned again, intertwining her fingers in Spike’s hair pulling him closer. The vague warning of VAMPIRE rang in her head, but she dismissed it, knowing he wouldn’t hurt her. All coherent thoughts were pushed away the moment he kissed her.
Spike suddenly pulled away from Willow and took a step back. ‘Cor, so beautiful. And she’s mine; only mine.’
“Slayer’s coming.” He said stepping closer to her.
“Shh.” Spike kissed Willow softly. “I’ll be back for you soon. Wait for me.” With that Spike disappeared into the darkness. Willow straightened out her clothes as best she could, and walked out into the club, still visibly disheveled.
“Wills, are you-” Buffy began but stopped when Willow ignored her, and continued on, obviously in a trance.
How Willow made it home in one piece she’ll never know. When she reached her bedroom, she noticed that the lights were on and her sliding glass door was open. She walked over to her desk where a red rose lie next to a note. ‘We will meet soon.’ She repeated.
She snapped out of her daze. ‘How did Spike know where I lived? How did he get in? He’s a vamp I could feel it. I know I didn’t invite him in.’ Too exhausted to think any more, Willow passed out onto her bed, naughty Spike dreams playing in her head.
Willow looked at the dropped note in shock. ‘I’m starting to remember, that’s good, right?’ She hoped optimistically. Yet, deep inside of Willow there was this dread that she would remember something that she would be better off remembering to forget.
She pulled an invitation out of the box. “You’re invited to Parent-Teacher Night!” It read. ‘Wow, why do I have an invitation to that catastrophe?’
*Six years ago (Two weeks later)*Willow sat with Cordelia in the broom closet. ‘What the hell does Spike think he’s doing? The first guy who’s interested in me now wants to kill my best friend and everyone else who happens to be in the way.’
The door swung open, and Spike stood in its place. Cordelia began to tremble while Willow stood up uncertainly. “Oh my God. Oh my God.” Cordelia chanted.
“Out.” Spike roared at Cordelia. She jumped up and practically ran out of the closet. Spike closed the door in her wake.
“Wh-what are you d-doing?” Willow stuttered taking a step back.
Spike smirked. “What does it look like I’m doing, Red?” He closed the distance between them grabbing her by the arms and pulling her up against him. Willow began to tremble in fear and in anticipation.
He pulled her into a bruising kiss, nipping and licking her lips until she finally gave him admittance into her warm mouth. Spike pulled away as Willow began to tremble. ‘Remember, mate, she’s human; she needs air.’ Spike coached himself.
Spike leaned back in to resume the kiss, but abruptly pulled away.
“What?” Willow asked somewhat confused.
“Slayer.” He growled, slipping into game face. Willow gasped. She had never seen Spike in his game face before. Seeing the look on her face, Spike began to change back, but Willow stopped him. “No, I like it.” She said running her hands along the ridges on his face. Spike smiled. ‘She’s perfect.’ “I’ll be right back, w-”
“Wait for you?” Willow cut him off. “Always.” Spike kissed her softly.
“I’ll be back luv.”
“Always, luv. I would never leave you.” With that he was gone.
Willow sat back down trembling again. It wasn’t that she was afraid that he’d kill Buffy. No, that didn’t scare her. What scared her was that she didn’t care if Buffy died or not. She was worried that Buffy would kill him. ‘It’s strange to think how easy it was to fall in love with a vampire.
Willow dropped the paper. ‘What have I gotten myself into?’